Episode 4
· 37:28
Yapping!
Erika:Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar:And Edgar.
Erika:And we are the Yapping Stougers. We entertain you with the up worthy stories we find around the web. Well, I hope everybody had a good Thanksgiving. Our family did something a little bit different this year. I thought it would be fun.
Erika:We well, we usually do bingo, so that's not an issue. That's not anything new. But we did do a clay contest. Yeah. And whoever made the best turkey, and I thought it was really fun.
Erika:Everybody was having a good time. I didn't participate, but I was a judge, and then also Babe here was a judge as well. Mhmm.
Edgar:Yeah. I didn't make my own clay sculpture, but, yeah. I also judged and I ranked them all by, like, my favorite to my to my who the one I disqualified. To the
Erika:least favorite, basically. Yes. Which I thought was biased. But he didn't know who made who, but I did, kinda. So it was hard for us to decide.
Erika:So he involved his family and, my brother won. He got 3 votes. Right?
Edgar:Yeah. Three votes from my most of my family.
Erika:Yeah. So he won. And the price was a Stanley Cup with little cute accessories. It was a really nice gift. Well, price.
Erika:So we did have a good time. And, what about your family, babe? What what happened to yours?
Edgar:We usually had, like, a small Thanksgiving with my little sister, my nephew, and then my parents. And then I spent, like, 2 or so hours making, like, a level set for Landon. It was like a Star Wars one. Like, some like, the bad guys and the good guy. Yeah.
Edgar:He liked that a lot. And, on the drive there, though, I think it's because my car is, like, very old, but, like, it spun out on the like, getting into the highway.
Erika:Yeah. So I was very worried. I told you to stop driving crazy.
Edgar:I wasn't even going that fast. I was, like, dirty.
Erika:Yeah. It's probably the road.
Edgar:I think yeah. Because it was rainy and also yeah. Like, my my I haven't changed my tires since I got the car, and I got the car, like, 5 or 6 years ago.
Erika:Yeah. You should definitely change your tires.
Edgar:Oh, have to wait a little bit. But yeah. Better than that. Like, we had a good Thanksgiving.
Erika:Yeah. I thought it was a good time. We had a good time. We had music playing. Everybody was having fun.
Erika:The food was delicious. Alright. So let's get into it. This episode, it has to do with couples and the crazy stories we found on the web. The first one is titled as, am I the asshole for being upset and want to file a divorce when my wife went behind my back and became a surrogate for her best friend and her husband?
Erika:The title itself is crazy. Tell me not.
Edgar:It's overly long, Leah.
Erika:Hello. First of all, I apologize if I've made mistakes because I never use Reddit. But I just need an outside opinion because a lot of people around me seem to tell me I'm overreacting. My niece suggested to post on subreddit to open my eyes. So, here I am.
Erika:First of all, I, 31 male, have been married to my wife, 31 female, for 4 years. We met during high school, dated, and got married. I'm an introvert, but not antisocial. I can socialize just fine, but for some reason, I've never liked her best friend since high school. 31 female.
Erika:She always gives me bad vibes. She's an extrovert, but to me, she's just someone who often oversteps people's boundaries under the guise of being friendly. Since we started dating, E has always meddled in our relationship saying that my wife was too good for a nerd like me. That only my redeeming quality was my face. I did tell E to stop and she did.
Erika:Now, E is more subtle and passive aggressive. A year ago, e and her husband of 2 years visited her in our house. It was a weekend, so I was at home helping my wife taking care of our 3 year old son who was still 2 years old at that time. After I put my son to sleep in his crib upstairs, I went down and overheard their conversation about starting medical procedures for surrogacy. I was appalled and asked them what were they talking about.
Erika:The 3 were shocked to see me downstairs. I told them I absolutely disagree, especially since my wife's first pregnancy was difficult. I was visibly upset and asked why they made this decision without consulting me. E made her own choice to have her tube side at 26. So why can't she consider someone younger or look into adoption?
Erika:Why does it have to be my wife? Argument started and I told them to leave. Later that day, my wife showed a text from me that she and her husband apologized and won't proceed with the plan. Last Monday, my wife felt unwell. I took her to the hospital despite her protest where we found out she was pregnant.
Erika:I was both happy and worried because of her first pregnancy. She was unusually quiet on the drive home. She then admitted she has secretly undergone IVF procedure since last year. I asked her how she was sure that it was not mine. She told me after every session, she was told to not do the deed for 2 weeks.
Erika:I remember that sometimes she will refuse because of stress from work, and I always respected that.
Edgar:Right. That
Erika:is crazy. That is crazy. I felt heartbroken, betrayed, and disrespected. It felt like it was the last straw. She always sided with Yi and tried to downplay Yi's disrespectful behavior towards me.
Erika:So, I packed a bag with essentials and left to my parents' house. Before I left, I told her I will file for divorce and told my 3 year old son that I would be going for a business trip. I haven't picked up her calls or responded to her texts ever since. And I miss my son, but I couldn't talk or see him without seeing her. Seeing her will hurt me even more.
Erika:E and her husband never reached out to me showing how little respect they have towards me. My parents, other sister, and my brother-in-law are on my side. And my friends, the rest of her family, and so my relatives told me to reconsider and think about our 3 year old son. I admit I've been crying and drinking all week. The ones who are on her side the ones who are on her side told me that I shouldn't be controlling and that her body is her choice.
Erika:It was not my intention, but it was just her, sad, and disappointment. I truly love her. Why am I upset? Why am I disappointed? I'm not the one that likes to be vulnerable and make a post about it, but here I am.
Erika:So am I the asshole? Alright. So what do you think? You think he's an asshole?
Edgar:No. I don't think so. I mean, like, assuming something that's very, like, drastic, that's something that's gonna affect both of their lives significantly behind his back.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, a baby having a baby, being 9 months pregnant and first of all, the first pregnancy was a little bit scary. It's even worse. Mhmm. So then you go behind his back and not tell him.
Erika:And she knew that she he wasn't gonna agree. And the fact that she still did it is crazy to me.
Edgar:And I mean, like this, you could and the other siblings or yeah. Her sister or whatever could have done Just
Erika:best friend. It's just a best friend. That's it.
Edgar:So, yeah. He could have found someone else. Like, I think it's like a mess up.
Erika:Yeah. I I I think once again, I like, he said that their relationship, he's always she has always been putting him last. And so that her best friend is more important than her husband. And I think at some point, she did not put a visible boundary between them that she's literally overstepping. And he has felt a certain way, but they always tell them that he was overreacting.
Edgar:Yeah. I think, like, what's even messed up, like, from my point of view is that, like, she's gonna have, like, all of, like, the, like, the troubles of being, like, pregnant. Like, and he's gonna have to deal with it, like, I guess, morning sickness and whatever happens during pregnancy, like, all the aches and fatigues, was that gonna be their baby?
Erika:Well, he was super excited. Mhmm. He did because he didn't know that she was pregnant and that she was doing IVF behind his back for a year. So he thought when they went to the doctor and the doctor said, hey. You're pregnant.
Erika:He was excited but nervous at the same time because he was, like, the first pregnancy was not a walk in the park. But he was happy about it. But now he knows it's not his baby. She's just obviously a surrogate. So yeah.
Erika:I think it's it's a complete disrespect.
Edgar:Well, I mean, it's like you're just going through the entire pregnancy without them actually having the baby, like, at the end of it.
Erika:Yeah. I I I do
Edgar:understand. Considerate of, like, the the friend.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, I do understand that it's her body. She should be able to do what she wants. But come on. Like But
Edgar:that's gonna affect both of them.
Erika:Exactly. If you're married, you have a partner, you should definitely talk to each other and have a conversation between a life changing event like that.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And he just completely blew. She completely blew him blew him off.
Edgar:And then, like, she was doing it behind his back for over a year.
Erika:I mean, no. Can you believe that?
Edgar:Like, it was like I feel like over a year is, like, just crazy. Like, that's, like, a long time ago.
Erika:But no. Yeah. No. She didn't notice because he said so you know how apparently when you have IVF, you need to have no sex or anything like that or no relationship, relations for 2 weeks. Mhmm.
Erika:And so he always, you know, said she was just tired of work or the stress. Mhmm. So he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.
Edgar:Yeah. But It's just the fact, like, if it was, like, a few weeks and then I I feel like it'd be, like, it'd be not okay, but a lot better than doing it for a whole year and living, like, basically a secret life secret second life.
Erika:Yeah. Mhmm. Like, how can you, like I can't look at you in the eyes and highlight something like that. I think it's so crazy that people can't just
Edgar:Like, I don't know. I feel like isn't the doctors, like, a long process as well? Like, going to do all those appointments? I don't
Erika:know if it's painful, but I just I don't it's a long process. It's a long, long process. And your hormones are all over the place and you're all over the place. Yeah. I don't yeah.
Erika:That's crazy to me.
Edgar:So he isn't the asshole. She I would say, yeah, the wife would be the asshole, and their friends are definitely the asshole.
Erika:Yeah. And the they didn't even reach out to her to to them saying, you know, we're sorry for this, you know, causing this, you know, hassle between your relationship. They don't care.
Edgar:They just want like a baby?
Erika:Yeah. And then her friend made a decision to have her tube tied at 26. Then why is her best friend, his wife, paying these consequences? Because she made her choice of having her to decide. She could use anybody else, use somebody else to be a surrogate, but why it had to be her?
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:The top comment is you're not the asshole. The blatant lies and disrespect and treating you like an idiot. There's more that you don't know about. I promise you that. Get the hell out, dude.
Erika:I agree. They should definitely divorce. And it's sad though because he has a 2 year old son, I believe.
Edgar:Yeah. And, like, the mother probably didn't keep the custody. Well, I just wanna see. But I think, yeah, with the the son and everything, it's gonna be, like, hard on him afterwards.
Erika:And he does miss his son. He said, I miss my son, but I just it's painful to see his wife right now, which is a 100% understandable.
Edgar:I know. Yeah.
Erika:It's like being lied to
Edgar:me for
Erika:a whole year.
Edgar:Yeah. This son's gonna live a very hard life because he's gonna have to live with his parents. He's gonna live with, like, a weird, like, not even, like, maybe, like, a cousin that, like, that broke up their their relationship or, like, his parents' relationship. Like, I don't know. It's, like, a whole bunch messed up because, like, no one was being honest on the the wife's side and the friend's side.
Erika:Well, yeah. I mean, no nobody knew. I think only the best friend and her knew. And then after everything broke out and he found out, the whole family found out too. I don't think they were in on it.
Edgar:Yeah. But I think at one point, like, how long were they gonna keep this a secret?
Erika:I know.
Edgar:Like, there was, like I don't know. There was, like, they only thought one step ahead, but not, like, 2 steps ahead.
Erika:But and then the fact that she knew that she she did not wanna go to the hospital because she suspected that she was pregnant. And then she was
Edgar:And then, like, she was gonna have to go anyways.
Erika:Yeah. So she didn't. That's when they found out because they went because she wasn't feeling well.
Edgar:Lucky he dodged a bullet.
Erika:Yeah. Well, let's see if he decides to get divorced. It doesn't in the comments, it's insane thing, but he does I mean, he's hurt, which I don't blame him for. I think he he should really reflect and see what, you know, what could happen.
Edgar:Mhmm. Now we'll go to the next story. The title of this story is, Hermione Asshole For Breaking Down After My Girlfriend Suggested An Open Relationship. I, 34 male, am 5 foot 3 inches and I've always been self conscious about my height. I'm aware that it holds me back in the dating market to some level.
Edgar:I've worked hard my entire life to prove myself and now have a successful career making more than enough to live comfortably. I've been dating my girlfriend, 26 female, for 2 years. She's stunning, charismatic, and confident, and everything I've always wanted in a partner but never thought I'd actually have. Early on, I asked what she saw in me and the response was vague but sweet, something about how I'm kind and stable. It was enough for me to believe this was real, but recently, she she suggested we try and open a relationship.
Edgar:She said she wanted to explore freedom while staying committed emotionally. It hit me like a truck. I asked if she wasn't happy with me or if I wasn't enough. She laughed nervously and said it wasn't about me, just that she feels too young to lock herself down. I tried to hold her together, but I couldn't.
Edgar:I started crying, which I never do, especially in front of her. I told her that it felt like I was just a placeholder, that maybe she was using me for financial security while looking for someone better. She looked shocked and said I was overreacting and being dramatic, That it wasn't about replacing me, but just adding more to our dynamic. A lot more, I guess. At that at that point, I told her if she wanted to explore, she could do it, but not while in a relationship relationship with me.
Edgar:She looks stunned and started to argue, but I told her I needed space and asked her to leave. She's been texting me saying I'm being unfair and making her feel bad for being honest about her needs. I'm considering so am I, the asshole? I'm considering breaking up. This hurts me so much, genuinely.
Edgar:So what do you think?
Erika:Oh my god. This is crazy. Mhmm.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. She's already already cheating.
Erika:She's the asshole. A 100%.
Edgar:Yeah. Not him. I think yeah. He's not like the asshole at all. They're like breaking it off.
Edgar:Like, it's he's obviously in an uncomfortable position and he feels like not respected or, like, valued in the relationship anymore.
Erika:Yeah. Well, first of all, if this is what what her thinking was in the beginning beginning of the relationship, she should have disclosed this with her now boyfriend. I feel like if that's what she wanted in that relationship, then she should've said it from the beginning. Because then they would've been, okay, well, this is doesn't match my ideal or what I see in a relationship, then this would've have been all avoided and heartbreak would've been avoided. However, she hid that to herself and then waited for him to fall in love.
Erika:And now my suggestion is that he's trying to she's trying to manipulate him saying, well, you're being selfish, which is completely not true.
Edgar:Mhmm. You
Erika:know, that's what her his ideals are and that's what he doesn't feel comfortable with. She should not make him think otherwise.
Edgar:I know. Yeah. I see. And so in short, yeah. I think I think, yeah, she just is totally in the wrong and she's, like, walking aback now because she's wanting to make him feel bad about her decisions with trying to open up the relationship.
Edgar:But, yeah, I think it's like a red flag all around and hope I know he's upset now, but he should feel better that, like, leaving this relationship eventually, will help him out.
Erika:There is an update. I broke up with her over text. She was really mad and called me crying, but I was a 100% sure, so I broke up with her regardless. So I think he did the right choice, and, I will go ahead and read the top comment. Not the asshole.
Erika:A suggestion of an open relationship, especially after 2 years, is complete grounds for a breakup. Either she has someone in mind already or she's wanting to wanting window shop for more options in the future. I'm so sorry, OP. That would absolutely break me as well. The fact that she started to argue and victimize herself is also very telling.
Erika:She's trying to make you seem like the bad guy for holding her back. If she wants an open relationship so bad out of the blue after 2 year relationship, she can find someone who wants an open relationship as well. So, yes, I think that sums it up pretty well And the fact that she, you know, wanted us because she has someone in mind. And the fact that he sure has no correlation, I felt like it's really at least for people that are not superficial and what the personality and all that is what matters, not the appearance appearance.
Edgar:Well, he did say that he not that she stayed with him for financial stability. So maybe he kinda, like, let her his money and all that stuff. And maybe there wasn't as much, like, chemistry there actually. But I mean, like, in at the end of the day, like, it it doesn't seem like they had much charisma with each other. I feel like that's how it ended.
Erika:I guess. But yeah. I mean
Edgar:What do you think about him breaking up with her through text?
Erika:I don't really care. Because she was an asshole to begin with. So she doesn't deserve his time and energy.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. It's like yeah. It doesn't really change, like, how I view him.
Erika:No. Not really. I don't know the same thing. Yeah. Because hello is like the same thing.
Erika:I would put myself in his shoes. I wouldn't care. I would just break up with her a ghoster a ghoster. That's it. Mhmm.
Erika:Alright. And so the next story is, am I the asshole for ruining Thanksgiving after my boyfriend announced my pregnancy and his mom fainted?
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:Alright. So I, 20 female, went to my boyfriend's, Jake's, 22 male family's Thanksgiving dinner last week. We've been dating a year, and this was my first time meeting them, the whole squad. So I was already kinda nervous. Before we left, Jake joked about his family and super tradition, and I should be ready for somewhat old fashioned vibes.
Erika:I just laughed it off. Dinner starts and everything's fine until Jake suddenly goes, hey, everyone. We have big news. I'm sitting there like, what big news? Then he grins at me and says, tell them, babe.
Erika:I'm panicking, so I just sit there confused. And his mom is already emotional asking if you're engaged or something. Then Jake drops, she's pregnant. Yo. I am not pregnant.
Erika:I immediately start denying it, but Jake's cracking up saying it's just a joke and telling me to play along. His family isn't laughing. His mom legit faints. His dad starts yelling and his grandpa's praying under her breath. Yo.
Erika:I can't I could literally picture this happening. It is crazy. I'm mortified. I sit up and go. Actually, the real joke is Jake thinking that I'll stay with someone who pulled this.
Erika:I walked out. Jake's been blowing up my phone saying I embarrassed him and ruined Thanksgiving. His family is apparently mad at me for causing drama. But, like, I didn't announce a fake pregnancy and traumatized his mom. Am I the asshole for walking and leaving him to deal with the mess?
Edgar:Yeah. No. I don't think she's the asshole for that. I mean, like, what kind of, like, joke is that? Like, it's like I can't even say the word, but, yeah, it's like you're so dumb.
Edgar:Like, at least tell her that you're gonna do, like, that prank, like, in advance. But now he has the entire family, especially and even, his girlfriend or wife or whatever, like, just in awe of, like, his stupidity.
Erika:Yeah. It's his girlfriend. And it's the first time ever meeting her. And for him to do that is ridiculous. Like and he's saying that they're very old fashioned and that they don't you know, they're very traditional.
Erika:So that means to me that they you probably want to have to be married before having children and all that stuff which is, you know, perfectly fine. Everybody has their own traditions and their religions or whatever. So I think he's just ridiculous for doing that.
Edgar:Yeah. So you'd say he's the asshole?
Erika:Yes. I'm 100%.
Edgar:I know. It ruined Thanksgiving. Like, they're all gonna remember that and they're gonna be like, yes. Let's not talk about it. They won't they're gonna remember it, but they're not gonna wanna talk about it.
Erika:Yes. And the fact that I think he's saying that his family apparently mad at at her for causing the drama. Excuse me. Hopefully, that is not right because that was not her doing. That was literally him announcing this fake pregnancy.
Edgar:Mhmm. I mean, he probably either, like, didn't say the whole story to his family or they just had different values, like his family and her family.
Erika:Maybe. I don't know. It was crazy. I still can't believe he did that to her. Mhmm.
Erika:Poor girl. She was denying it. She's like, I'm not even pregnant. What is going on? I thought I thought what the grandma was praying under her breath was hilarious.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:I I guess that's telling that, like, they probably don't like him, but they don't have a good first impression of him. That's funny. The top comment is just I don't see how you are the asshole
Erika:here. His family sounds awful and he and he sounds immature. You can definitely do better. Mhmm. 100%.
Edgar:So our next story is titled, am I the asshole for wanting a week's vacation alone away from my partner and children? Me, 32 year old female, and my partner, 37 year old male, are in a disagreement. He thinks I'm selfish considering this. I don't think I am. He suggested I post here to see what you all say.
Edgar:We have been together for 12 years. My partner has two responsibilities in terms of the house. He walks the dogs in the morning, and he goes to work full time. More often than not, he falls asleep at 8 PM. He works in IT.
Edgar:We have 3 children, 7, 4, and 2, and I am fully responsible for their care as well as every household duty, laundry, cooking, and cleaning. I am a S AHM, which I don't know what that is, but I'm also self employed. So after I look after the children all day, I then work for a couple of hours on my laptop. My prayer fair is coming up. I asked my partner what does he think if I booked myself a vacation for a week on my birthday and went on my own?
Edgar:If he could use his paid time off to take time off to look after and spent the whole week with our 3 children, taking them to school, taking care of the house. And he told me I was being selfish. It's selfish to wanna go on holidays for a week for my birthday. He said yes. My partner hasn't done a load of laundry in 10 years.
Edgar:He cooks dinner occasionally, 2 times a month. He doesn't hoover, mop, or mow lawns. I get it. He's tired and he works full time, but I work too, and I don't feel appreciated. I just wanted a week where I don't have to plastate a crying child, will stop the toddler from running into traffic, or worry about everything in everyone else's good time while sacrificing my own.
Edgar:The last time I spent time away from my children and house was when we went out for dinner for his birthday in March. After they were asleep, I organized the babysitter. Oh, in my pap smear, which he tried to make me take the children to even though he was home. The holiday would be paid for entirely by May. He gets 28 days of paid time off, not including bank's holidays.
Edgar:Last year, he lost paid time off days because he didn't take them, and we are in the UK. Am I the asshole? So, yeah, I don't think she's the asshole to wanna take a few days or week off from just, like, family life. Like, I imagine, like, she has, like, a full, like, a full play on her every single day as a stay at home mom. The guy, her husband is, like, being pretty unreasonable though.
Edgar:I would say, like, yeah, he's definitely the asshole because, like, he's, like, refusing for her to, like, take a break and, like, also is, like, very unattentive of her and, like, her children.
Erika:Yeah. The fact that the children do not when you have children and you're a stay at home mom, your job never ends. It's never there's always something going on. There's never a stop. Let me have peace time.
Erika:And when he is not home and she's taking care of the kids, her job never ends, and I think it's completely ridiculous of him of even wanting her to take the kids for a mammogram. And he seems like he has paid time off, and he refuses to take any because why? He doesn't wanna take care of his kids, it seems like. He expects her to do everything, and I think it's ridiculous. I'm gonna go ahead and read the first comment.
Erika:It says, not the asshole. Just the childcare you're doing is a full time job with children those ages. Added to that that you're doing all the housework, all of the cooking, 2 times a month is not frequent, and 2 plus hours of self employment working from home. It sounds like you have multiple full times jobs while he has one. Consider pricing out what it would cost to have someone to do your full time as an experiment.
Erika:How much would it cost to hire a nanny for 3 children of those ages full time? How much would it cost to hire a maid to complete the house chores you do? How much would you how much would hiring a lawn service cost? How much would having a home cooked or having meals delivered every day cost? Do you want the dog outside of the time he does in the morning?
Erika:If so, add it to the list. Those are the cost of your labor. That's what the 2 of you save by you doing that work. There's a decent possibility those labor costs would cost more money than he makes. And the hours those people who would need to work to complete the work you are doing easily, totally more easily, total more than the hours he's putting in at the office and walking the dogs in the morning.
Erika:This doesn't even include whatever you make at the work from home job you do after dinner. A reasonable split would be that you do the same 8 hours of work he does, be it caring for the kids, cooking, cleaning, etcetera. And then the 2 of you split the remaining duties relatively evenly. When he comes from work, he thinks of it as him clocking out of work. But when do you get a clock out?
Erika:Because it's not after just 8 hours of work. He's not pulling his weight here, and it seems like he's not even appreciating the fact that you're doing the vast majority of work in this situation. I know it hurts to hear, but I recommend to seek out counseling on your own to decide whether it's a healthy relationship for you to stay in, whether he's capable of making the changes needed to make your marriage into a partnership instead
Edgar:of
Erika:you doing all the child rearing and house labor while he is free to work without even doing the basic amount of housework he'd do if he were a single man with no kids. It literally sums it up. Ridiculous. This is what I I I it's like my biggest fear ever being a stay at home mom would be just, like, nonstop and just expecting to do everything because I'm not working. And having well, you're not working.
Erika:So my job is more important because you're working in the company or making the most money or whatever. But literally whatever cost you're saving for your husband, he doesn't appreciate and doesn't give you the time to let her relax at least for a week. And if he has holidays saved up, he should take them. It's ridiculous. I just, feel bad for her because she doesn't have a partner where she can depend on at least for being able to have a partner that's responsible of their children and being able to rely on him to take care of her children and for his children to have time with his father.
Erika:And it's sad that his her her partner doesn't see that. So she's definitely not the asshole, and she needs to really rethink. If this is a relationship, she should continue.
Edgar:Yeah. They definitely need to do some time management and, like, some sort of, like, family counseling. Yeah. She's not the asshole, but he is for refusing to let her take up any break, actually.
Erika:Yeah. Because looks like she does most of the work
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Regardless of if she's a stay at home or not. There should be a balance. And I know sometimes it's gonna be 8020, but alright. So next story is, am I the asshole for now allowing my late husband's affair partner to come to his funeral? 3 weeks ago, my husband died in a car accident halfway across the country.
Erika:He said he was going on a work trip, but we later found out that all of that was just another one of his lies, and he was actually on a cheating trip. Something he'd seemingly been doing for at least for the past 5 years. So, yeah, it's been a very fun few weeks. It feels fantastic. Our kids, 7 female, 14 male, and 19 male, only the oldest knows about the affair, and we all agreed to keep it to ourselves.
Erika:The problem lies with his partner. She wanted to be involved. I told her that wouldn't be possible and she should respect her privacy. Even putting my feelings aside though, he's trying to be strong for his younger siblings, my oldest is battling with his anger and grief. Having her there would only cause problems.
Erika:Regardless, she was there when we arrived at the graveyard standing some distance away but she was still close enough to everyone to just make her stand out as if she wanted to be seen. I told my brother that he removed her without causing too much I told my brother to remove her without causing too much of a scene. Afterwards, she sent me a text which basically called me selfish for blocking her from being there and saying I robbed her of the chance to say goodbye properly. For some reason, this is slightly bothering me. I found myself justifying my actions and myself repeatedly since receiving that text.
Erika:I still believe I did what was right and put my kids first. She had no business there, and her presence only would cause drama. She could always go to his grave whenever she wants to say goodbye. Was I the asshole?
Edgar:Yeah. I don't think so, yeah, OP was not the asshole in this situation. I believe that, yeah, the other woman shouldn't have came if, like, since the OP and her son didn't want her being there. So, like, he he should've just stayed away for now. Like, yeah.
Edgar:She could've came later on, like, in her own time, especially since, like, it it probably did cause a lot of drama her being there, like, with all the family. Because I don't imagine, like, all of the family knows about the affair that was happening.
Erika:Yeah. I think it's ridiculous for him to for her to even ask.
Edgar:Mhmm. No.
Erika:So I
Edgar:don't think it was ridiculous for the other woman to ask because, like, I don't know how much she knows about the affair. Because, like, the actual asshole of all this would have been the dead guy.
Erika:Well, she chose to be an affair knowing that he had kids and a wife.
Edgar:Did she know that?
Erika:Clearly. Yes. She did. She wanted to be part of the funeral and she knows she has a wife. He knows she knew that he had a wife.
Edgar:Oh, I I read it as she knew after the fact, like, when, like, he's he was, like, dead or whatever and then, like because I imagine he had to, like, notify as much people as possible, which happened to be, the other woman in OP. But, yeah, I don't think yeah. It's fair for her to ask, but, like, when she got to know from not only OP but, like, the rest of the her her kids or whatever.
Erika:The fact that she had he had an affair for 5 years
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:You can't tell me that he could hide kids for 5 years.
Edgar:I feel like I don't know. I don't know if it's, like, a fictional story, but I've heard, like, people having, like, secret double lives for, like, 20 or so years.
Erika:Yeah. But that's not no. I it's regardless. I think she knows she's the other woman. She knows she he was married.
Erika:She should give them space And Mhmm. A proper goodbye is complete bullshit. Literally, she could have gone any other time to say goodbye.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:There's no need for her to be at the funeral. Especially if her they have younger kids, you know. They don't wanna say that her father died while he was on a trip to see her Yeah. His mistress completely ridiculous.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:The top comment is not the asshole. If she wants to say a proper goodbye, she can pay for a memorial service of her own. Having an affair with someone who already has a spouse and children has drawbacks. Not being welcomed to at weddings, funerals, and other family functions is one of them. She cannot possibly claim to be surprised at being asked to leave.
Erika:What do you expect?
Edgar:I know. Yeah. I mean, if she was invited, it's okay. But, yeah, if she's not invited, yeah, she shouldn't have came at all.
Erika:I mean, come on. It's like, how ridiculous do you have to be to think that you will be invited as the affair partner?
Edgar:I know. The reason why he died?
Erika:Yes. And and not only the reason. The the fact that she they were gonna he died seeing to her seeing the fact that he died going to see her and having an affair behind her his wife and the kids. That's it's crazy to me. I don't I I think it's
Edgar:Is it ridiculous?
Erika:Yeah. I definitely don't think she's asshole and I'm glad she said she is not allowed in the funeral and they kicked her out because she has no right being there.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So, yeah. I definitely don't think she is the asshole and she did the right thing. And so I believe that is the last story and it wraps us up. I hope you enjoyed. Let us know who you thought was the the number one asshole in the stories here, and see you next week.
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