Episode 19
· 52:25
Yapping!
Erika:Hello, this is Erika.
Edgar:Edgar.
Darielys:And Dave.
Erika:And we are the Yapping Snowsers. We entertain you with the out worthy stories we find around the web. So today's theme is called The Betrayal. The first story is Emma the Asshole for calling out my husband's friend after he made inappropriate comment about my son's paternity.
Erika:I, 23 female, have been married to my husband, Alex, twenty seven male, for two years and we have a 10 old called Dylan. Alex has a friend named Mike, twenty seven male. They've been best friends since high school. From my first encounter, I did not like Mike. He is really childish, likes to be the center of attention and has a crude sense of humor.
Erika:It's like he never got out of his frat boy face. All of my husband's friends are married or in a long term relationship. Whereas Mike has not been in a long term relationship or has brought any woman around. He also made some weird comments toward me that made me uncomfortable. My husband has a deep bond with Mike.
Erika:They often go on hunting trips or boy nights. I've never tried to keep my husband from hanging out with his friend, but I have limited contact with him. Mike came over to pick up my husband to go golfing. I was holding our baby when I answered the door. Mike greeted us at the door, asked to hold my baby and was cooing to him.
Erika:Then he said, hey there man, come to papa. And my husband and Mike started laughing. A bit of a background. I have brown hair and blue eyes and my husband has black hair, brown eyes. Our son's hair is coming in blonde and he has blue eyes.
Erika:Mike has blondish hair and blue eyes. I was a bit caught off guard by it, but I ignored his comment. Mike then said, He looks like me, maybe he's mine. And my husband, Mike continued to laugh. I was obviously not amused.
Erika:I told Mike to hand me my son and then told him, not in a million years and no woman would sense would want you. Neither my husband nor Mike laughed at my comment. And Mike just made a face before he and my husband left. Later my husband told me I took it too far with Mike. That Mike was just joking, but I made it personal.
Erika:I told him those comments were disrespectful to me as his wife and the mother of his child. Then he said it's obviously not true. So why am I so upset when I know how Mike is? Am I the asshole?
Darielys:Oh my God. But why would he say that? That's no. And why is the dad just laughing? I mean, get it.
Darielys:That's like his personality, guess. That are like, that's not funny.
Erika:It's not. It's basically saying that she's a cheater.
Darielys:Yeah. Then just laughing about it. Yeah.
Erika:Like it would be different if they were friends or they were close then you know she could go along with the joke but he doesn't like him.
Darielys:Yeah it's like calling her out in a different way.
Erika:Yeah so it's not funny. What do you think?
Edgar:Well, think that OP is the asshole in this. I think he he took it too far because it's just like a joke. And she's like taking it seriously even though like everyone but her apparently doesn't understand that it's a joke.
Erika:But does she knows it's a joke, but he took it too far by saying that joke because they're not that close.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Just because the husband is close to his friend doesn't mean that she has to be.
Edgar:Yeah. But it's like more of an a b and she happens to be a c.
Erika:She's literally part of it. She's literally part of the joke saying that she's a cheater. She's she's cheating on her husband saying that.
Edgar:Well, not the joke though. The joke is, oh, he looks like me and fire mine.
Erika:No, he he could have
Darielys:just said he looks like me. Yeah. And that's it. Not maybe he's mine. That's like, it turns into a yeah,
Erika:like a whole thing behind
Edgar:the You're too deeply into that?
Darielys:No dude.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:It doesn't make sense. There's just no it doesn't have to be a joke like you just joke you should joke with people that you're friends with Because when you go and joke with a random person, that person probably won't find that funny or will find it crude that you just think it's it's funny because just because, you you know, it's funny to you. Yeah. If you don't know that person's sense of humor, why are you involving them as a in a joke or saying a joke that they probably won't like?
Edgar:Well, how else will you make friends?
Erika:The top comment is ask your husband why Mike's comfort is more important than yours. Not the asshole. Oh. It's true. Why is he putting his friend higher than her feelings?
Erika:If she feels uncomfortable, she feels uncomfortable. Does it mean that she has to shake it off? What is this?
Darielys:That's true.
Erika:Okay, I'm trying to find, I saw a comment here that was really good and I was like, oh yeah. Okay, so you did the right thing. Nobody should insuite you slept with anybody besides your husband. Your husband should be offended too.
Darielys:Yeah. Like, I mean I get it because like like the husband knows how like he jokes around so that's probably why he wasn't offended. But like, don't say that's a little too much.
Erika:Yeah, I mean like I'm not saying that he shouldn't joke around but he should have obviously a certain limit on how what type of jokes he says. Like if you're not close to her then don't say stupid jokes like that. That'd be in the situation that awkward. I would be like, what? I would not like that.
Erika:Would be pissed And you would see it in my face. Yeah. You would see it dead on my face and I'll be like, that's not funny.
Darielys:Erica and her faces are pretty funny.
Erika:Yeah. And I literally told him that he Jake I mean, Jake. Edgar will be saying jokes and I'm like, that's not funny. Even with him. So I'm like, come somebody come and tell me that.
Darielys:Oh, girl, please. Stop.
Erika:Yeah, so I he's definitely the asshole for not putting his wife's feelings in consideration. Just because he's like that or that's his personality doesn't mean that she has to like it.
Edgar:My final verdict.
Erika:He's not the, he's the asshole.
Edgar:Should I say the OP is the asshole?
Erika:No, definitely no.
Edgar:Okay, the next story is titled, Am I the asshole for being willing to divorce my wife because she's become friends with a brother who bullied me my whole life? I, 32 ms, have a complicated relationship with my brother, Dean, thirty two ms. He is the only sibling I have and most people assume we should be close, but he bullied me for most of our lives. I gave him some chance over the years, but he never grew or stopped. There were people in my life who brushed it off as teasing and siblings getting under each other's skin.
Edgar:He'd make fun of me for not being athletic like him and he'd call me a loser for it. He says I look like a fat kid running and how fun it would be to trip me up. He'd start laughing at me if I did anything like exercise and parents had cameras and he'd try to take pictures of me and say he'd spend them around school. I had some stomach issues as a kid and he'd tell his friends I crapped my pants a lot and then spend it around school. There were a few occasions during school where he's loudly asking me why I was sitting in my crapped in pants and why I didn't have pull ups or something.
Edgar:If I ever had friends over as a teenager, Dean would bring up how I used to crap my pants a lot and to try to humiliate me with other embarrassing stories. He did the same thing when I brought home my first girlfriend in college. For a few years he taught me and said he slept with my ex that time I brought her home. He'd say I die a virgin and no other girl could actually have sex with me because I was too weird and too much of a nerd. I wouldn't go home because of this stuff and I told my parents I wasn't going to let him treat me like that.
Edgar:I see now that they never did their best by me either and let Dean get away with a lot. They never took sides, but that meant saying nothing while he treat me like shit and tried to humiliate me. Sometimes they tell me he was maturing and stuff and I tried but he didn't mature, still hasn't. And I gave him another chance to meet with Cindy. That brings me to my wife.
Edgar:We've been together for six years, married four, and we have two kids together. She knows my history with Dean and told me I deserved better. But then she met Dean at my parents house, sat through him doing the same shit which made me insist we leave early, and then she started talking to him online and became actual friends with him. They text and make plans and I'm so hurt by that. She told me I don't get to police her relationships and how she thinks it's good for them to connect because he has kids with his wife and we have two kids and the kids deserve to know each other.
Edgar:She also told me they have stuff in common and make good friends. I told her given how he treats me, I would have expected her to stay as far from him as she can and I said it hurts that she has become friends with him. She said when she met him it was just different and he's an ass to me, but not a bad guy overall. I told her I didn't like it and we needed therapy together to talk through all of this because our marriage couldn't survive it if she insists on staying friends with him. She asks if I'd really consider divorcing her over her friendship with my brother and I said yes.
Edgar:I told her she stabbed me in the back with that choice. She told me I was crazy and controlling. She told her family who thinks I'm selfish for even considering tearing my family apart over this. My own friends and two of my cousins who know the score and agree my brother is a huge ass to me thinks my wife is wrong and that it's understandable if I can't stay with her because of this. But I know this is a huge thing and will hurt my kids.
Edgar:I also know I've questioned whether my wife and Dean are having an affair. I have read some of those messages and they don't seem floaty and most of their plans are online But even if it's just a friendship, it does feel like betrayal to me. Am I the asshole for considering divorce over this? And I say yes.
Erika:What? No. I'm torn over this because honestly This sucks. He went through so much because of Dean. Mhmm.
Erika:And you see that he's been trying to overcome all that with I mean, basically made his life impossible. All his relationships were ruined by him and now he is friends with his wife. Which by the way, knew all the back history of Dean. And yet she wants Dean to be part of their lives even though he has repeatedly told her he does not want to have that. So she completely dismissed his feelings and what he wants to do and all the hardship he had with Dean because he's not a bad guy.
Erika:He's just an ass to him, but he's not a bad guy. He should hang out with his his cousins.
Darielys:I don't know. That's that's still weird to me. Like, why would she wanna be friends with him in the first place?
Erika:Exactly. I
Darielys:don't I don't understand that part.
Erika:Hearing all this, I would just wanna say a hundred feet from him. Like, maybe a hello and that's it. Why would I want my kids to have an uncle like that?
Darielys:What if he bullies the kids? No.
Erika:Or insults them or say oh your dad was this or basically humiliates him in front of his kids because that's what he's known for.
Darielys:What if the wife finds that funny too? Like with him making fun of her husband and stuff.
Erika:Yeah, so it's not just because he has a grudge against him. It's because he doesn't respect them and disrespects him in front of his family, his wife and then eventually his kids because that's
Darielys:So
Erika:that's okay to have a relationship like that with your so called brother?
Edgar:Well eventually they will kind of reconcile and I think the friendship with the wife can help that because at least it makes the brother like OP more human to his actual brother.
Erika:He literally said he was doing the same thing he usually does talking to my wife. How is that seeing him more human or changing him in any way?
Edgar:Well, just have to because it's still going to be a part of his family no matter if he tries to kick him out or whatever. Or just try to cut as much connection as possible. Something you have to like reconcile with.
Darielys:He's getting to him through his wife.
Erika:And also, point there, he could use his wife to get back at him. Because he's saying that he slept with his ex girlfriend, right? What if he wants to do that with his wife? Yep.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:He has no boundaries with you. He wants to humiliate you. So he would do whatever it takes to get you down.
Edgar:He also the brother also has his own wife and kids.
Erika:So? But
Darielys:he don't care about them right now. He's like, oh my god.
Edgar:But all of their conversations are public and they are friendly I hope he's able to verify that as well.
Erika:I don't know, but that's for now. You don't know his motive. If he's made his life a hell for all his life, you think he's just going to stop now? I don't think so. I think it's just a liability right now.
Erika:Him and his wife and any relationship with him. And the fact that his parents never did anything to tell him to stop doing that as they were younger, it's completely ridiculous to me. Because they should never have a relationship like that. They allowed this behavior and that's why he thinks it's okay to go out around and keep humiliating him everywhere and with all his relationships. Just because he's growing or he's a growing teen.
Erika:Uh-uh. That is not okay. You don't do that. That's and then the fact that he got away with it for so long, you think he's just gonna stop? I don't think so.
Erika:I I would just stay away from that guy. He's for as far as I know, he's not my brother. Mhmm.
Darielys:Mhmm.
Erika:So the top comment is not the asshole. Your wife is out of line and wouldn't be surprised if Dean is continuing this friendship as a way to bully you more. Your wife is a plain old mean. Mhmm. So he OP did respond to that.
Erika:It's possible. It could also be he wants to have an affair or at least have sex with my wife and gloat about that like he did about my ex, which I never knew if it was true or not, but this would hurt worse than it were if it was true. That's just so much to make me think this is getting to me screwed over. But I hate that I found myself in this position. So now he feels like he's back in the olden days where he feels manipulated and humiliated by him.
Erika:And his wife doesn't care. Like she doesn't she doesn't care about his feelings. He doesn't care about his trauma that he had with his brother because bullying and humiliating and telling everybody that he's his pants is not funny. And going through that it's really hard. Like mentally, his mental health is not okay.
Erika:It's like he's going back to when he was young. I think it's so sad. He doesn't need to go through this again. His wife is not being supportive at all. That's not a wife.
Erika:No. If you were to tell me I don't feel comfortable, would be like okay babe, let's not do it. I would encourage you if you feel uncomfortable especially if it hurt you so much. I don't want you to get hurt again. That would be my thing.
Erika:The way of thinking. Aw, I hate you.
Darielys:Edgar is like, he doesn't care. He doesn't have feelings. He's cold hearted.
Erika:Yeah. Well, thinks of it more logically,
Edgar:but if
Erika:you, I mean, I don't know. His track record isn't good. And giving him a chance and expecting him to change, I don't know. I don't know if it's gonna go well for him. That's just my thought.
Erika:So what's the final verdict?
Edgar:Studying OP is the asshole for threatening divorcing over something that at least up to now is innocent?
Erika:I don't think he's an asshole. I think he's valid for his feelings. I don't think you should dismiss that altogether. I think maybe he should work on himself a little bit more or trust his wife more, but I want his wife to be more conscious of his feelings as well, not just dismiss it just like that. How about you Dave?
Erika:Same? Yeah, same thing. All right, so next story is, am I overreacting for exposing my mom's affair at the dinner table? I wasn't trying to snoop, but while my mom's phone was on the counter, a message popped up from a man I didn't recognize. Curiosity got the best of me and when I opened it, I discovered months of messages, hotel bookings and event pictures.
Erika:My stomach dropped. I never imagined she'd do something like this. At first, I didn't know how to handle it. I thought about staying quiet, but the more I considered my dad who has always been kind, loyal and completely unaware, I couldn't just pretend I didn't know. So during a family dinner, when my mom was sitting there like nothing was wrong, I lost it.
Erika:I pulled up the messages, read some of them out loud and told my dad the truth. Everything fell apart instantly. My dad went pale, my mom burst into tears and my younger siblings sat there in shock. She accused me of betraying her trust and destroying the family while my dad just looked heartbroken. Despite everything, he later thanked me for being honest with him.
Erika:Am I the asshole?
Edgar:No, not at all and I don't think he's the asshole either because it's like something like it's affecting the entire family and like Nafala needs to know.
Erika:The audacity of the mom saying oh you ruined her trust.
Darielys:I was about to say that and then she was just like destroying the family. Girl you destroyed it.
Erika:The betrayal here.
Darielys:Yeah, it just came out. Please. She knew what she was doing.
Erika:Girl, yeah, exactly. She better like manipulate her be like,
Darielys:no, it's your fault that this this this not happen. Blah blah blah.
Erika:No. No. No. No. No.
Erika:No. There's no way. You destroyed this family, ma'am. You destroyed it by cheating on your husband and not thinking about your family.
Darielys:And he's she described him like so sweet.
Erika:Yeah. He did not deserve that.
Darielys:Hotel bookings is kinda crazy.
Erika:Well, you know, there's work trips.
Darielys:I would never believe a work trip. Like, come look at work trip. What job does trips like that?
Erika:No. There's some jobs but yeah, it's just But it was like rare. I that was like no. No. I don't know.
Darielys:And I feel like it's like a good paid like job. No. I'm not that stupid.
Erika:No. I think it's sad. I mean, I mean, even if she could try to handle it differently, like maybe talk to her mom directly. Yeah. Her come clean would be a little better.
Erika:However, I don't think the mom was gonna try to come clean at all. No. She's gonna hide Yeah. I don't I mean, she's been hiding it for so long. And that's all that she saw there.
Erika:Who knows if she had an affair before, like, longer affair before that. So I just, yeah, I think man, it's kind of messy though.
Darielys:It is messy.
Erika:It was a little bit In
Edgar:front of the siblings as well?
Darielys:Know. I I don't know how old.
Edgar:Yeah. I like to think they're like four or five or six.
Darielys:Younger. No, don't think so. Nah, they're probably like, I would say like middle school.
Erika:Yeah. At least. Yeah. I mean But then you know, I feel like also if you lied to them it would just also affect them as well. I don't think they needed to be present for that but I
Edgar:I think it would affect them either way. Maybe as
Darielys:soon as
Edgar:they find out the truth. Which, I mean, I feel like potentially this could have gone on for a lot longer but it had to come to light soon.
Darielys:Yeah, it could have gotten worse too.
Edgar:What's worse than hotel bookings?
Darielys:Nah, like for a longer time and like the dad would I feel like it would have sucked more if it's been happening for like years and he knew nothing about it.
Edgar:How was the dad out of
Darielys:Because like, He's been like What did he say?
Erika:He would get a paternity test if he was the dad.
Edgar:For all three of them? Stop. That's All four siblings?
Erika:There's only two there. All five. Yeah. What do you mean? What?
Erika:Yeah. I it's crazy to me. At least
Darielys:he knows now. Yeah. That's Yeah. Holidays come
Edgar:at the end.
Darielys:Like, it's better. Longer time. I feel like he would have like, it would have hit him even harder. Mhmm. Because it's like, I don't see like he's been getting played for like years that's that that sucks.
Darielys:I know.
Erika:I feel like once you're a cheater you hit it's always a cheater like maybe that's her second cheat you know I mean?
Darielys:We only know that guy, who knows if there's more.
Erika:Oh my god.
Darielys:That's the, oh I know.
Erika:Listen, he deserves better.
Darielys:Yeah that is sad.
Erika:And the kids do too. The top comment is She accused me of betraying her trust and destroying the family. Yeah, you're the problem here. I'm being sarcastic obviously. Tell your mom you have done that yourself.
Erika:Yeah, I just, yeah. All around I feel bad. I think she did not overreact. No. She deserved it.
Erika:Yeah, she did the right thing.
Edgar:Clip on a verdict?
Erika:No, I think she did good.
Edgar:Yeah, she
Erika:exposed the truth.
Edgar:Hope he's a good guy or girl. Okay, so the next story is titled, Would I be the asshole for kicking my cousin out if she shows up to my wedding uninvited? My wedding is in a few days and I needed an outside perspective before things potentially burrow up. A little background, my cousin, Lisa, used to date my fiance Jake years ago. They met in college.
Edgar:They were in the same friend group and ended up dating for a couple of years. It was serious for a while, but things fell apart due to bad timing and differences in what they wanted for the future. It was amicable. Jake and I met later through the same mutual friends. Lisa and I were close so at first it seemed like a weird coincidence, but she was supportive of our relationship.
Edgar:It was over long before I even met him and I never really thought of it as an issue. Lisa and I have always been close and I never felt weird about the fact that she and Jake had history until now. A few weeks ago I found out from Lisa, not Jake, that she met up with him behind my back. Apparently she needed closure before he got married and told him she still thinks about him sometimes and wonders if they made a mistake breaking up. Jake assured me that he shut her down immediately and told her he's marrying me, but the fact that he kept it a secret from me really hurt.
Edgar:After a long argument, I told Jake that Lisa was no longer invited to the wedding. She's completely overstepped and I honestly don't want to be standing at the altar knowing she's sitting right in the audience wondering what if. Jake wasn't thrilled about uninviting her, but he agreed. I also made it clear to Lisa that she would not be welcomed, but now I'm hearing from family members that Lisa still plans to come. She's telling people that since she's family, she deserves to be there and that it's unfair for me to exclude her over a misunderstanding.
Edgar:Here is where I might be the asshole. If Lisa shows up, I will have her kicked out. My maid of honor promised to handle it and kick Lisa out if she showed up. I don't care if it causes a scene and I don't care if it makes things uncomfortable. She was explicitly told not to come, and if she tries to ignore that, she is the one ruining the day, not me.
Edgar:But, some of my relatives think I'm being petty. Part of me wonders if I should just let it go and ignore her if she does show up. Would making her leave just escalate the situation unnecessarily? Should I just suck it up and keep the peace for one day? I say OP would not be also kicking her out if the cousin comes uninvited, but it looks like she's willing to suck it up.
Edgar:But I think she shouldn't really suck it up because it's like her wedding day.
Erika:Yeah. I
Edgar:think ideally she sucks it up, but I mean also it's like I agree that it's like weird to think that someone in the crowd is like actively thinking That's just like awkward. Just
Darielys:like knowing that she's gonna like if she just shows up and she's just there watching you. Like, what if she, like, out of nowhere, like, makes, a whole scene in front of I object. Vows. Yeah.
Edgar:I know.
Darielys:Yeah. I'll be like, no. No. No. She she be the type to do that.
Edgar:I can see that, yeah.
Darielys:She can get kicked out.
Edgar:Yeah because then afterwards the wedding is not gonna be remembered for like, oh it's a happy day. It'll be remembered for, oh remember when the cousin tried to break it up. Yeah, exactly. That's the only memory people are gonna have of that.
Darielys:Yeah, no, they always remember the bad things.
Edgar:He's not overstepping. LP is not overstepping.
Darielys:It's gonna become the cousin's day instead of her day. She makes a scene on her wedding day.
Erika:It's her wedding, she decides what she wants
Darielys:to do.
Erika:I don't think there's no issue here and that the fact that the husband, soon to be husband agrees is a good sign too.
Darielys:Yeah. And why is the family always like, I feel like every time we read a story the family is like against the person. Like that's telling the It's so funny.
Erika:I just wanna keep the peace.
Edgar:You, because like, the family is like big enough that there's always gonna be like differing opinions on the same issue.
Erika:Yeah, I think I get that you want to keep the peace, I guess. But like if it's ruining your day, sorry not sorry, we're going to kick you out. That's as simple as that. There's no peacekeeping here.
Darielys:It should have been like, we're keeping the peace if she doesn't show up. That's peace for one date.
Erika:But the fact that they've been very close and that she went behind her back said, Oh yeah, I still have feelings for you basically, or I still
Darielys:think about Yeah, yeah.
Erika:That's just messed up. That's really messed up. Yeah. Nobody needs a cousin like that. Bye.
Erika:The top comment is, The reason doesn't even matter. It's your wedding and if you've told her not to come, she shouldn't come, period. Everyone should respect
Darielys:that. Yes,
Erika:a %. So would she be overreacting? No. No. You're doing the right thing girl.
Edgar:Yeah, that's about right.
Darielys:Get her
Erika:out of there. Next story is my fiance left me over a message. So this happened two weeks ago. I female twenty six and my fiance male twenty five have been dating for five years, engaged for two due to planning and financial situations. We were a stoppable couple.
Erika:Everyone always said that we had the perfect relationship and that our love makes them sick. We never had any big fights or arguments besides the usual debates about who is right. Like, they kind of answer you Google to see who was actually right. Zebras are white with black stripes kind of debate. We were perfect.
Erika:He washed the dishes. I cooked whatever his heart desired. We looked after each other and protected each other. I know I can be a very difficult person to deal with. I have bipolar one, the kind where you have super strength at two in the morning.
Erika:I am a bit picky about certain things like where my crafting supplies go and how my food is prepared and how I feel my emotions. I don't laugh, I scatter with glow. I don't know what that means. I don't cry, I break. But besides all of this, I am able to regulate and control my emotions very well.
Erika:And it's never been a problem. I am still able to have a normal calm conversation. We have been planning our wedding for around one point eight years and we have recently been financially stable enough to start looking for a house or apartment together. I have a small business and he works remotely full time. About two months ago before the event is what I would call the breakup, I noticed a few things here and there that were weird but nothing alarming.
Erika:He would say this shoulder hurt when we cuddled. He cut and changed his hair and routines. Conversations were sometimes met with weirdness. Oh, red flags. Two weeks before the event, we went on vacation with some friends.
Erika:Everything seemed perfectly fine and normal. We had a great time. One week before the event, Valentine's Day. He couldn't be with me on Valentine's Day due to work. Another red flag.
Erika:But he took me out for brunch the next day. Nice place, good food. He even bought me chocolates and was all lovey dovey as usual. The day after I was recovering bed, I had three wisdom teeth pulled. He wanted to speak to my parents about the dogs we both have together, Luna and Rex.
Erika:They are my world. And the day of the event, the morning off, I decided to do my hair and my makeup. I wanted to move my apartment around and deep clean and have everything ready for when he came that evening. The apartment is next to my parents' place in the backyard. I sent him a good morning and have a great day.
Erika:I love you kind of message. Later that morning, received a notification from a courier company saying my package is on its way from my fiance. I thought it was a mistake and I tried calling him. No answer. He sent me a message about an hour later saying that he is breaking up with me.
Erika:Thanks for our time together. You can keep the dogs. No reason, no explanation, nothing. Just that. Also was removed from all social media, nothing more.
Erika:So what the hell? Do we ever
Darielys:find out? Oh, did we find out the reason?
Erika:Nope. So there's, there is a little bit of updates, but it doesn't really tell you much. So just so for extra context, I think it's capable of apical, especially for those saying that he might be manipulated. His older sister never liked me. She didn't even like the other sibling's partner, even after they married and took in together a long time.
Erika:She doesn't like anyone, to be honest. And I'm not being dramatic. And on the courier address, I saw that it was their address and not his. He apparently moved in there. I went to visit my bestie for a while around nature, biggest supporter besides my mom and my sister.
Erika:Everyone and I informed after everything said they were absolutely shell shocked about the news. It was extremely sudden and no one really suspected a thing. My mom did say the thing about the dogs was extremely strange and not okay. So yeah, nope, there's nothing. There's no update.
Erika:He doesn't know what happened, why he broke up with her. It was just like, bye.
Darielys:Do we ever know what the package was?
Erika:Oh yeah, we do. It was his ring.
Darielys:Oh, okay.
Erika:It was a bag of my gate remote, his ring, the dog's vaccination vet cards, my medical emergency card and an old nose ring. That's three years ago. What? That is so weird. You
Edgar:guys just faked his death.
Darielys:Or why do have to leave a package? Honestly just leave. I don't know.
Erika:Yeah. That's uncalled
Darielys:for. Just just leave. Pack a package so he can, like, remind her of him or something. Nah. Forget the package.
Erika:I do wanna say though, I feel like he kind of has a he found a girl. He found somebody else. The fact that he cut his hair, he changed his routine, he couldn't spend Valentine's Day with her.
Darielys:No, Valentine's Day is crazy.
Erika:Yeah. Think That's kinda crazy. I think he found somebody else and wanted to leave That
Edgar:or he just didn't like her anymore. It just looks like a like a regular breakup to me.
Erika:A regular break
Darielys:No, because she doesn't have like any explanation. I'd be mad. Sometimes a
Edgar:lot of people don't get it.
Erika:Like at
Darielys:least if you're gonna break up with somebody at least tell them the reason. If there's another girl, tell them that there's another girl. Like, I would
Edgar:have reason.
Darielys:Nah. I would wanna know the reason.
Erika:There has to be a reason. You just you just don't wake up when they be like, I wanna break up with you.
Darielys:What? No. I want another reason. Like, because if they just, like, walk out out of nowhere, I mean, what it is what it is. But then you're gonna be left with that thought, like, why?
Darielys:Like, what's the reason? So I'd rather know the reason. It could be the worst reason ever, but I know
Edgar:matters, actually.
Darielys:No, I think the reason matters.
Edgar:%. It's like the because it's like over it doesn't matter like what the reason is, it's over.
Darielys:No, didn't know. I would want to know.
Erika:I just think he shouldn't have been a coward. He was a whole coward. He knew that he was gonna break up with her, he should have said, okay. I just don't think this is working. Let's just break up.
Erika:And so I just told her in person.
Darielys:Yeah.
Erika:Why just a text and blocked her from everything? Come on, be an adult here. That's childish.
Edgar:I think probably from the context clues and how the post was written, it does seem like she was a little bit aggressive or at least like I think she just didn't want to deal with the fallout of whatever of the breakup.
Erika:There's also an edit that says, By the way, for everyone who keeps blaming bipolar, he had very intense impulsive ADHD. I didn't mention it before because I didn't think it was necessary, but I believe this adds to even more context into the mental health perspective.
Edgar:And she's probably violent as well.
Erika:Damn. I can't with you.
Darielys:That's that's
Erika:insane. I get on. You're crazy. Yeah. I I it's just not right.
Erika:He should have treated this better or at least told her. I don't know. It was just for her. Like, I see it sudden too. Like, from way how the how she was describing it, I didn't think he was gonna break up with her.
Erika:I thought he was gonna cheat on her, honestly. That's my first thought when I was started reading. I didn't think he was gonna break up with her out of nowhere. Like, what?
Edgar:I thought he was gonna break up with you.
Erika:Really? Mhmm. Oh, I guess. Because you're a guy.
Darielys:I thought she was gonna, find out about, like, the
Erika:other girl or something. Me too. Alright. So the top comment is he found someone else and was too much of a coward to come clean and handle things like a mature adult. Yeah.
Erika:Exactly. Alright. So what's the final verdict?
Edgar:I guess no one really is the asshole in this. No. Like, they just broke up. Yes.
Erika:He is the asshole. What do mean?
Edgar:Add it to my head. No. No. I cannot. Have been split so
Erika:You've been like opposite from me and Dave. Excuse me.
Darielys:Yeah, no.
Erika:You're wrong. People, please tell us who is wronging right here.
Edgar:I don't need to I don't need anyone to agree with me.
Erika:Oh, okay. Whatever. Okay. I want to yes. I wanna know what everybody thinks.
Erika:You're wrong. Okay.
Edgar:The next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for Ending My five Year Relationship After Finding Out My Girlfriend Has Been Sending and Receiving Flowers and Other Gifts from Her Ex. My girlfriend and I were together for five years. Everything has been great. We moved in, we've been living happily together for about three years, and even talked about marriage. There were no red flags, no secrets, and nothing that made me doubt our relationship.
Edgar:For my birthday, she got me a smartwatch, a thoughtful gift, and I did my best to make her special. Got all the stuff she liked, a fancy dinner, a trip, and a necklace she had been looking at. Everything seemed perfect, but a few weeks later while organizing our closet I found a hidden card with a note. Thank you for always thinking of me. It means more than you know, love.
Edgar:Love, Jake. Alongside it was a flower delivery receipt, dated right before his birthday. Jake was her ex, the one she always said was in the past. Of course, I was mad. When I confronted her, she admitted she had been sending him flowers every year since we got together and he's also been sending her gifts on her birthday and some other occasions.
Edgar:She insisted it was just a friendly gesture and only hid it because she knew I wouldn't like it. But if it was so innocent, why keep it a secret? She called me insecure and said I was overreacting, but to me this felt like emotional betrayal. Betrayal? Eventually I packed my stuff and left and ended our five year relationship.
Edgar:And of course, I'm still being caught insecure and all that, but to me it was the secrecy. I mean, who knows what else had been going on that I don't know about. So, am I the asshole for any get over this? And I don't think so.
Erika:I actually agree with you with this one. Yeah, she was a complete asshole for this. She did not. The fact that she had to hide it literally knew that she was doing something wrong.
Darielys:Come on. Yeah. I know. It was the
Edgar:hiding Yeah, they're hiding and then they both were exchanging gifts on like Yeah.
Erika:Oh, patience.
Edgar:Like, in the on birthdays and other occasions.
Erika:What occasions are like that? Mhmm.
Darielys:The fact that she's doing it back is is like no. Yeah.
Edgar:That's like
Darielys:In the past.
Edgar:It's not in the past.
Erika:It's It's
Edgar:in the present.
Erika:Yeah. For five years, they've been doing this for a while. That's insane. No, that's not right. Yeah.
Darielys:Damn. She hiding it that good then.
Erika:Yeah, the only reason.
Darielys:What do you mean? For you're not noticing that for five years?
Edgar:Is crazy.
Darielys:She hides that really good.
Erika:That's crazy.
Edgar:I mean, just find it funny that he found it in the closet. Maybe because he never cleansed.
Erika:Doesn't clean.
Edgar:Like, she didn't really hide it that good. I don't think she, like, tried. To be honest, but it's
Erika:so probably never looks. And then it's she's like, she kinda probably got used to it and she got, you know, overconfident and be like it's been five years, he's not gonna ever find out.
Darielys:We're lazy. Yeah, can almost say not yet.
Erika:I think she just got overconfident and she got caught.
Edgar:At this point, Sophie's ex should just get back to her ex.
Erika:I don't know, I think
Edgar:they seem be They all have a for each other. I don't think anyone would go out with OP's ex's ex, you know? If they knew about this going on as well.
Erika:Yeah, mean like imagine he's dating somebody and then he gets flowers or something. It's like, oh, who's that? Oh, it's just my ex?
Edgar:Yeah. What? I also said stuff to her too.
Erika:Oh. No. No one's gonna have At
Darielys:that point, be together. They would.
Erika:This is yeah. This is betrayal.
Darielys:Yeah. It's
Erika:Emotional betrayal at the best. Mhmm. Would say he did the right thing. He definitely needs to break up with her.
Darielys:Yeah.
Erika:No. No. He deserves better. The top comment is it's not being an asshole to be smart. You're you're be stupid to stick around with her.
Erika:Have a great life. Mhmm. Yeah, agreed. He deserves better.
Edgar:Stefano verdict?
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Nope. Not the asshole.
Erika:Good job OP. You deserve better. The next story is finally found out why my friends don't want me going on a date tonight. Pretty annoyed. For context, I'm 35 male and my date is 43 female.
Erika:We actually met because she's in a hobby group with my mom. Oh, that's a little bit
Darielys:awkward. Come okay, mom. Yep.
Erika:A hobby group with my mom and she encouraged us to go out together. Two of my friends and their girlfriend didn't approve when they found out. At first it was because she was a few years older than me and because she's my friend's mom. But after pointing out that our eight years is not a big gap and that my mom was supportive, they called it weird and creepy to date her. Eventually after everyone else I asked seemed confused about the problem.
Erika:Eventually after everyone else I asked seemed confused about the problem. I admitted that they had been talking to my ex and left me a year ago and she had been missing me. My ex is friends with the two disapproving girlfriends and they all have been planning to try to get us back together like some kind of trashy romance plot. My ex left me after we were together for a year because she didn't feel right about our relationship. Hurt like hell at the time, but I've moved on.
Erika:I've run into her a few times and been polite, but I have no interest in a relationship or even a friendship with her. She's not part of my life anymore and I'm keeping it that way. My friends made me feel like I was crazy and weird for not wanting to go on a date with a woman I get along with. We've hung out a lot in other settings, just not on a date yet. I get along with all so they could try and force my ex back into my life.
Erika:Ex texted me this morning asking me if we could meet up and talk, and I told her that I wasn't interested in anything she'd have to say and that I like to keep my distance from her. I'm also putting some distance between my two friends who were playing along with my girlfriend's stupid game. On the plus side, I'm really looking forward to our date tonight, dinner, drinks and a walk through the town to enjoy nice weather we're getting. So there is an update. Just got home.
Erika:Did not expect this much support. Figured to let anyone finding this late or checking back in now. Date went very well. Haven't had a first date goal that will, I think, ever, to be honest. Second date has already been planned.
Erika:I'll be cooking dinner and will be watching a few terrible movies people share a love for. As for my crappy ex friends, I've already told them we're done being friends. Luckily, they are part of a separate social circle and my main group of friends, So it's very easy to break up process there. X tried calling me. I went ahead and blocked her everywhere I could think of.
Erika:Not letting those idiots ruin an otherwise amazing night. Oh my god. I don't know. It's kinda a little bit weird though. It's friends of her moms and Yeah.
Erika:Know. And it's like mean, eight year difference is not too bad. I mean It's not bad.
Darielys:But like the fact that it's your friend's mom is crazy.
Erika:And she encouraged this like Mhmm. To like I don't know. It's weird. Like, imagine like my mom would be like, yeah, Erica. Wait.
Erika:But like
Darielys:How old is friend's mom? That she's friends with, I ain't no say this, oh this is kinda weird.
Edgar:It's probably the young one in her friend group.
Darielys:In the group right? Yeah. If it's the mom and he's 35, she's like, The young one. But it's just like 60?
Erika:Yeah. 50. 50, 60.
Edgar:At least
Darielys:around there.
Edgar:Gonna see that the mom had him like OP when she was at least 18. So Like 53? Yeah.
Darielys:Yeah, like around there. Oh my god. Oh, that's still weird to me. Yeah.
Erika:I don't know. I mean, maybe the mom could have a good eye and she sees that it could have a comment. I'm trying to be devil's advocate But I I I still find it weird. Yeah. Yeah.
Erika:No.
Darielys:How long have they like, his mom and the the girl been friends? Because, like, that's weird if, like, you saw him grow up. Like, what? Oh, that's even weird.
Erika:I know.
Edgar:In general, this is just weird. Like, imagine, like, oh, I like, okay, we have, kids and all this stuff, and then you have, like, friends and, like, hey, you would definitely love my child. Ew. And you just anywhere you slice it, it's, like, really bad.
Erika:That's so
Darielys:interesting. I was like,
Erika:it's like for example, we had children and they were like, oh, you should always take Dave. Like, like, what you do? Yeah. Like that, that's weird. Yeah, there's just no happy medium there.
Erika:Yeah. It is weird and creepy.
Darielys:Yeah. She definitely watched them grow up. So I
Erika:don't know
Darielys:if the friends
Erika:oh gosh. No way. I don't know if the friends, like, are assholes here because it's it is weird and creepy. I think they should have got it a better way and not go try to get the ex girlfriend, maybe find a new girl to date that's around his But yeah, I don't know. And the fact that
Darielys:the date went pretty well is kinda suspicious too.
Erika:Maybe their mom helped her.
Darielys:Yeah. Because hello, they know each other.
Erika:Yes. So they were
Darielys:like, no wonder it went so well. Hello.
Erika:Like, said he doesn't like this, don't do this.
Edgar:This is his favorite movie by the way. It's bad, but just pretend to like it.
Erika:This is so weird.
Edgar:Okay. Hello. The Walking Owl.
Darielys:Yeah. Yeah.
Erika:Yeah. So the top comment is trying to manipulate you into canceling a date because they care more about the feelings of the girl that dumped you doesn't really sound like someone real friends would do. Yeah, like I said, they should have gotten it that way. They should have found a new person. OP actually responded to this and said, yeah, I was pretty disappointed that we're willing to play along with all of this.
Erika:They are my closest friends, so I'm strongly considering just moving on from them completely. But yeah, that's still weird. Sorry OP.
Darielys:Yeah.
Erika:I mean, if you're happy, you're happy but like this, I don't know.
Edgar:Mental illness.
Darielys:I don't
Erika:know I don't think
Edgar:I'm doing Jesus didn't die for this.
Erika:What? What did say?
Darielys:I heard Jesus.
Edgar:I said Jesus didn't die for us.
Darielys:Oh no
Erika:no no.
Darielys:This is too much. I did not expect that.
Erika:I didn't either. So we have one more story and it's one of those videos where you see on TikTok or IG. So it starts off that one time I was on a romantic day with a guy and decided to let out a very small toot, thinking nothing of it. I shift in my seat and realize it felt a little warm down there. I do the sniff test and realize I have my pants.
Erika:I say aloud, I just my pants and the guy laughs thinking I was joking and says, no, you didn't. I said, no. I really just my pants. Mind you, I'm wearing one of those one piece camo jumpsuits. Oh, no.
Erika:That is trapped at the bottom of the jumpsuit.
Darielys:Ew. I
Erika:then jump out of the car.
Darielys:The car? Oh, hell no. Hold up.
Erika:I then jumped out of the car and ripped the jumpsuit off my body, all way down to my skivvies.
Darielys:Skivvies? That's crazy.
Erika:I started freaking out and can't stop saying I just my pants because I'm in such disbelief. I wrapped myself in a blanket and I was cry laughing because I didn't really know how to feel. The guy was trying to hold it in together and being super respectful, but couldn't start laughing with me. He said it wasn't a big deal, but like it was. Yeah.
Erika:We raced back to my home and I jump in the shower only to hop out in on the shower mat. I could not stop pooping and was so concerned because I felt completely fine. To this day, I don't really get why I couldn't stop pooping. But said, Guy and I are now engaged and celebrating six years this month. What?
Erika:I mean, if you're able to look past that. Was that the first date? Yeah. I think that was
Darielys:the first date. I feel like there's nothing that could be that.
Erika:That's like, at that point,
Darielys:you know. At that point, y'all are just meant to be.
Erika:Because
Darielys:what? That's so embarrassing.
Erika:I wouldn't even know much I would be so embarrassed. Yeah.
Darielys:I'd be like, you're either stuck with me or we'll never speak again. That's it.
Erika:Is so crazy. But the fact that he stuck around, I mean
Darielys:He's a real one.
Erika:Yeah, he is. I thought that was I want I wanted to have one story without a betrayal, even though how bad it was.
Darielys:That was pretty This
Edgar:is a story where betrayal wouldn't be necessary.
Erika:Oh, no. Oh, he did it. So there you go. But, yes, I mean, I mean, it's kinda awkward for both parties,
Darielys:like Yeah. You kinda I'm sorry,
Erika:but that's so No. No.
Darielys:His car probably has, a stain on it now.
Edgar:Forever. Yeah.
Darielys:That's like a memory to look back on. Oh,
Erika:remember this time? Remember that time when you pooped your pants? Oh, Alright. So that is all the stories we have today. Thank you for tuning in this week's episode.
Erika:Check out our website, www.yapping.com and join our mail list for updates. If you love our podcast and want to support us, subscribe and share it to your friends and family. We would appreciate that so much.
Edgar:Also, we started a new Facebook group called AITA Relationship and Family Drama, Link in the description. Join so you can share Am I The Asshole posts you like or share your own stories for us all to judge. We may even read a few posts in one of our episodes.
Erika:Thank you, see you next time. Bye!
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