Episode 18
· 53:19
Yapping!
Erika:Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar:And Edgar.
Erika:And we are the Yapping Schnauzers We entertain you with the up worthy stories we find around the web. Today's theme is jealousy.
Edgar:So the first story is titled, I kissed my brother, and now my fiance wants to break up with me since he finds it weird. Am I the asshole? Probably because I find this embarrassing to post, But my head is a mess right now, and I need some assurance that I'm normal. Me, 25 female, and my brother, 17 male, have been close since childhood. It wouldn't be a lie to say that our main love language is physical touch.
Edgar:I see him as my baby. He's adorable and such a sweet kid. We hug, cuddles, and he also relies on me emotionally a lot. Now comes my fiance, twenty nine male. We've been together for three years now, and he knows that I'm close with my brother.
Edgar:I moved in with my fiance last year, so I don't even get to meet my brother that often. So every time I meet and hug him, my fiance had always made some passing remark like, well there, or you guys are sure close. I just rolled my eyes since I thought he was just joking back then. But five days back, it was my mom's birthday. It's been four months since I saw my family in real life aside from video calls as we live in different cities.
Edgar:It was a small party with relatives, and I was happy to be there. We were planning to stay for the night and leave the next morning. At night, my fiance and I were up watching a movie, and when my brother and Austin came inside, and he asked if we could talk, my fiance gave me a side eye, but I got up and followed him. I asked him what was wrong. He said he missed me and that he's been having a hard time at school since he's struggling with his studies.
Edgar:He's a smart kid. He's at the top of his school, unlike me, and I know he always had stress issues. He also mentioned how his friends are being very rude to him and in one way or the other, and this made him cry while talking about it. So, obviously, I was consoling him. We talked for around one hour before I hugged him saying everything will be fine.
Edgar:And this is when my fiance walked in and asked, are you guys done? He sounded upset, and he could have phased that brother. But after a few more minutes, I got up, gave my brother a kiss on the cheek, and told him we could continue to talk tomorrow. But once I got inside the room with my fiance, I think hell broke loose. He started telling me how gross I was for kissing my own brother.
Edgar:He said he was already upset that I have hugged, cuddled, and had my brother lay on my lap before on other occasions, but now the kissing was the final nail in the coffin. He said that I prioritize my brother more than I do for him, which is not true at all. I hardly see my brother ever since I moved out. He also said that I'm not seeing my brother as my family and that our relationship is not normal. He literally told me, you guys are in love and is having an affair, and that he hates how we touch each other since it comes off as sexual.
Edgar:I'm aware a lot of siblings don't do physical touch, but it doesn't say anywhere doing it is wrong. I don't understand what is sexual about this. Please help me understand. These made me feel so awful, so I told him that my then father, separated now, was really abusive to my mom. Me and my brother has kids, which often makes me feel like I should protect him, and that's all there is to it.
Edgar:But he didn't even let me explain before he just left the room. The next day, he called his mom and said he wanted to break off with me. I talked to her myself, and she said I should stay away from my brother if the marriage has to happen since it could affect my fiance mentally as he is a single child. So he wouldn't understand how siblings feel. She said it's better for the both of us.
Edgar:Now I'm conflicted because I don't understand what I did wrong. I never felt like I did anything to warrant a breakup. I love my brother, and I love my fiance too. I knew my fiance always made backhanded remarks about my brother before, but it never crossed my mind he took it so seriously as her that day. Please.
Edgar:Am I the asshole? Am I really acting weirdly with my brother? If I am, please tell me what I can do to not be like this that wouldn't hurt my brother in the process too. Well, the story was a lot wasn't as bad as that I was gonna be.
Erika:Exactly. I am just flabbergasted here. The the way they're both gaslighting her is insane.
Edgar:Wait. Who's both? The mother and
Erika:The mother and the, what, boyfriend, fiance?
Edgar:Yeah. The fiance.
Erika:I can't even I'm just shook. How is it inappropriate to hug or kiss your brother in the cheek?
Edgar:I don't know. I think what what set it up for me was that he's, like, a single child. He's an only child. Yeah. So he probably just yeah.
Edgar:I think his mom's correct in saying that he just doesn't understand, but I think it's also another another thing could be that he's just, like, a little bit insecure about the, like, the relationship.
Erika:I don't think he's insecure. I think he's controlling.
Edgar:You think so?
Erika:A hundred percent. I think he just wants her attention on him, and that's it. He doesn't want any other person to be in her life, and that to me is controlling. I think there's a million red flags here, including his family, because who wants to be a part of a family that literally tells you it's the best for both of you to stay away from your brother? No.
Erika:No, ma'am. It's best for him, not for her. What do you mean letting go of the relationship of your brother just for your fiance? I I don't think so. I think they also have a trauma bond where, you know, they feel close to that who they've gone through that with, you know, when they were younger.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:So I I think also they rely on each other a lot for emotional support, which you see a lot with trauma bonds.
Edgar:Mhmm. And
Erika:the fact that they don't understand that and they want her to stay away from her brother is crazy to me. He is definitely a complete asshole, and he just needs to get over himself. And I would honestly break up with him. There's just no excuse for it at all.
Edgar:Hope he hasn't seen his his family in, like, four months.
Erika:Yeah. That's another red flag too because it looks like since she's moved out, it's been all about him, all the doting on him, all the time on him that she hasn't even been able to see his her family. And so right there, once again, that's controlling. So the top comment is, as much as it hurts, be thankful that your fiance is showing his true colors before you got married. What if you had a child and he wants to dictate your interactions there too?
Erika:Forget him and forget his mom. They are gaslighting you because he's an insecure mama's boy. Dump that prick and live happily. Not the asshole.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. I agree. Because, like, the relationship that OP has with brother, like, from the title, it seemed like it was gonna be a lot worse, but it seems like a simple like, it just look like they're close and, OP worded it weirdly when it said that their love language is physical touch. I think it's just more like it is, like, just being close to each other.
Edgar:It's just covered in each other. Yeah. Covered in each other.
Erika:Yeah. And I think also it has to do with culture. I think that's a big part of their love language, I guess, or their, you know, their emotional and and physical touch. I don't think it's nothing wrong with hugging your brother or kissing him the cheek. I think at least for, you know, Hispanic culture, when you see somebody you kiss you kiss them on the on the cheek, or you hug them or you do a side cheek to cheek.
Erika:You know, it's normal. Or it's not nothing about sexual or anything like that. It's just how you say hi to somebody.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:It could also be that, but I still think he's a controlling asshole, and she needs to break up with him. It's crazy that he accused her of having an affair with his brother.
Edgar:Yeah. That's even weird. Like, it just I think that voice the truth isn't, like, kinda messed up.
Erika:Yeah. I don't I don't get it. Like, I think he's just looking at it under a microscope and and seeing something that there's not. He has definitely went too far. And the fact that she's doubting herself saying that, am I in the wrong here?
Erika:Shows how much he has put stuff in her head saying that something is wrong with you when there wasn't. Mhmm. So, yeah, final verdict.
Edgar:Yeah. OP isn't the asshole.
Erika:Yeah. Not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Definitely, OP's fiance and his mother to a certain extent. I think the mother is just, like, kind of
Erika:The mother is asshole too.
Edgar:I say she's just one-sided because, of course, she's always gonna side with her kid. You know?
Erika:She's What
Edgar:what parent went to side with their kid?
Erika:Sometimes, but very, very rarely you see that happen. Still, she's an asshole. Mhmm. Okay. So next story is, am I the asshole for telling my sister-in-law that she is not on the same level as my wife?
Erika:Throw away because my wife and her sister have my mane. My wife, Ava, fake name, female twenty eight, and I'm, male thirty, just had our first set of kids in a pair of twin boys. We had met and dated throughout college and after graduation. Got married in a simple ceremony. My wife is a nurse, and now I'm an engineer.
Erika:My wife is a quiet type, especially in large social gatherings. And I'm very petite. I think that will be important later. Honestly, I'm not much different, and that's how we hit it off because our friend groups dragged us to a party we didn't really want to be at. That said, one on one or in a patient, she is very, very warm and all smiles.
Erika:We tried for over a year to get pregnant, and my swimmers weren't doing their job.
Edgar:Yeah. So
Erika:we were thrilled to become parents, and finding out it was twins was even better. My wife's sister, female twenty five, on the other hand, is a piece of work. She relies on guys to fund her lifestyle. She jumps from guy to guy or scams them online. If I had proof of the catfishing or scams, I will report it.
Erika:She has no education past high school. She's trying to become an Instagram influencer, but only has a hundred followers. She is constantly
Edgar:ugly dude. I feel like it's I feel like for female Instagram influencers, it's just very easy for them to get, like, hundreds of thousands of followers. So It
Erika:really is.
Edgar:They only get a hundred?
Erika:Well, I mean, you also have to keep in mind how you get a hundred. I mean, the thousands of followers by showing what.
Edgar:You're just putting no effort.
Erika:Yeah. Okay.
Edgar:Low effort at a low effort career.
Erika:Anyways, she is constantly trying to make it rich quick and still lives with her parents. No hate on this part, but it's just to show how financially irresponsible she is. She buys the center everything and eats out all the time. We waited until the boys for a few weeks before we let anyone come over. My wife had to recover, and she wanted to bond with our boys not interrupted.
Erika:Anything for her. I had to beat my my this is funny. I had to beat my mom back with a stick, not literally, but it was worth the piece. I wanted only one set of family at a time, so we didn't get overwhelmed and suggested her parents first. Her parents brought her sister.
Erika:Now up to this point, her sister had been super interested in the pregnancy and helped throw the baby shower. She would drop off my wife's snacks and things she mentioned a craving. Overall, it seemed like a turning point for them because before the pregnancy, their relationship had been strained. Childhood competition, fighting over who dated who first, etcetera. I went to the kitchen to make lunch while they sat and chatted.
Erika:Her sister came in to help well, that's what I thought. She set up plates and things and started asking about the labor, the last couple of weeks, etcetera. I thought she was trying to let me vent or find some ways to be helpful, but I told her everything was going pretty smoothly. She made the comment, too bad. She's ruined now.
Erika:I heard she ripped from her b to her a and won't be pleasing to look at.
Edgar:Bro, that's gross.
Erika:It's very common, actually, which it's because usually when, you know, the baby is pushed out, yeah, you have the elbows, tucked into the body and sometimes the babies have them out which causes rips a lot of pretty often. So it's a common thing. So back to story. Now it is true that there was some tearing, but considering her size and the size of the boys, I don't think it's too uncommon. I just looked at her and asked why she would say something so disrespectful about her sister.
Erika:She told me it's just the truth, and I would realize ugly scars down there would be the total turn off. She then leaned across the table and did that things girls do to make their boobs look bigger by crossing her arms under them and squeezing. She then leaned across the table and did that thing girls do to make their boobs look bigger by crossing their arms under them and squeezing and said, I know you only really wanted her as a mother because of her nursing thing, and went on about how much happier I would be with someone more my level. I told her in no uncertain terms that she wasn't anywhere near my level, and she could forget ever reaching my wife's level either. I told her that being a swindler and not and not respecting herself online until guys didn't make her this hot attractive thing she thinks she is.
Erika:It's actually sad to watch because everyone knows she can do so much better and would be great at whatever she put herself to, but she chooses deadbeats who would pay for her photos instead. I told her my wife worked until eight months while pregnant with twins, how she does volunteer work for the animal shelter, how she still fusses over me even though we now have the boys, and how just amazing I really think she is. I told her she could never even scratch at the level my wife is on, so take her weirdness out of my house. And I just walked her out. I pulled the parents aside and explained what happened, then sent them the kitchen video of it because we have indoor cameras in the common areas for security, kitchen facing the back door, living room facing the front door, hallway, and stairs.
Erika:They were livid, but at me.
Edgar:Okay.
Erika:They stormed out for disrespecting their younger daughter in a way that made her cry. After showing my wife, she thought I was a little harsh in shutting her down, but was so thankful that I made her leave and stood up to her. My sister-in-law and her parents are demanding an apology. I'm not going to apologize. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:No. Clearly not. Like, the sister was trying to make a move on him, and she she clearly failed, and she just got put in her place.
Erika:Exactly. I wouldn't have said it better. She just thought she was gonna shoot her shot and make it go in, and she didn't. It was a fail. Yeah.
Erika:And that's just gross. Like, why
Edgar:Like, her sister just had a baby, and now you're gonna just swoop in and take his man. Like
Erika:That's insane. That you know, why have a family ever or enemies? She is your enemy. She should stay away from her.
Edgar:She got the spirit of Jezebel in there.
Erika:Oh my god.
Edgar:For real. Like, I think the sister's, like, such a mess. I got for but for some reason, when I'm imagining the story, I'm just thinking the sister is, like, you know, like like, a cute, pretty, and petite, and her her little sister is just like a devil version of her.
Erika:I don't know. I I think it's she I think she has really low self esteem because any woman that does this or tries to get with a man that has a wife or is in a relationship has low self esteem because they don't respect themselves enough to know that they deserve better and that they should be with somebody that's not in a relationship.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:I think it's it's just she's sad. Like, I I it frustrated me a little bit, but then when you really think about it, I think she really needs more self assurance and higher self esteem.
Edgar:I'm not giving any mercy for her. She's just being lazy. That's why instead of going for her potential, she's just trying to get any sugary diabetes you can that she can have interested in her for the the upcoming week. She's got flavors of the week, maybe flavors of the days considering her attention span.
Erika:I don't know. I think, you know, maybe she got hurt at some point.
Edgar:She's only hurting herself.
Erika:Well, that's the thing. She is hurting herself. She needs help.
Edgar:She's like, I need help because I'm hurt. Who hurt you? Myself.
Erika:Oh my gosh. I think she needs to to, talk about her feelings, and I think she needs she needs a therapy. She needs therapy, honestly. Mhmm. She needs a little bit, more self care, girl.
Erika:You can do better.
Edgar:Yeah. Whatever. But, yeah, she's not getting I apologize, though.
Erika:Oh, no. I fail no. She could do better, but, no, she he she does not deserve no apology. And the parents, excuse me, I think this is they're part of the reason why she is how she is because, clearly, she can do no wrong. They literally saw a video of her trying to hit on their daughter's husband and said he should apologize.
Edgar:I know. It's just like I've seen the video. It should be more than enough to, like, shut she down the sister, but instead to just take her side.
Erika:Yeah. It makes no sense. They they also need therapy. King. Everybody needs therapy.
Edgar:Like, what?
Erika:No. I I think everybody needs therapy.
Edgar:No mercy.
Erika:And it's just crazy to me. But there is an update.
Edgar:Oh, really?
Erika:Yes. It's a little bit long, so bear with me. After they left, I took a couple hours before posting because I felt I made my wife upset, and I hate doing that. Apparently, at that time, my wife and I were blocked from my sister in law's social media, and I was blocked by her parents. By the time I posted, I missed 40 some calls, messages.
Erika:I assume it was her parents still bugging about the apology or or her texting me, calling me names. I went downstairs to find my wife in tears because someone had the nerve to be screaming down the phone at her. It was her uncle. I took the phone, shouted him down until he explained what he heard. Apparently, sister-in-law immediately went around claiming I was a disgusting pig who touched her inappropriately and said all terrible things she had said.
Erika:And he was pissed at my wife for defending me.
Edgar:I'm telling you, she deserves no nothing. Just no mercy at all.
Erika:No. I'm done. I'm second guessing you.
Edgar:There's no redemption for her. Just in a pit just in a pit of hell.
Erika:I am second guessing the funny well, not the funny urge. Just saying that she needs therapy. Okay. I caught the call and sent the video to him. I tried to check her accounts and found that I was blocked.
Erika:My wife tried and found she was blocked. I checked my phone and all the ignored noise was various family members on her side. I didn't bother calling them. I just sent the video to each and every one of them, then posted it in all my accounts and tagged her and her parents. I used my wife's phone to post it to her parents' account with her permission.
Erika:I sat down with my wife to ask what she wanted to do, but she just started crying. Eventually, she said she hated them and started to cry even more. I just feel so bad for OP, well, for his wife. Mhmm. She literally just gave birth to twins, and all she wanted was to have a peaceful, you know, recovery time, especially with baby blues.
Erika:And it's twins is insane. Mhmm. Clearly, she wasn't in the headspace to make decisions that affected anything long term. So I suggested we just go to no contact temporarily. And after some time, discussed if we should make it permanent or not.
Erika:She agreed. He suggested therapy. Thank you, everyone, because I would not have thought about this myself. She was hesitant, but after a big pushing, she agreed. I didn't bully her, just pointed out that this was all terrible, that she went through so much and that while I can listen and snuggle her, I am not unbiased, and I don't have all the tools a therapist would.
Erika:She doesn't seem depressed, but all their crying is getting to me. I hate seeing her like this. I asked that we should change the locks and add a few more cameras outside. She agreed. I asked if she wanted to tell my parents they can't have a key or need to wait a few more days to visit, but she said they can come and they can have a key.
Erika:My mom and wife don't always see eye to eye, but tend to team up against me. The noise the noise died down by dinner time, but there was almost no no apologies. A few cousins apologize to my wife and her aunt. I told her friends what happened. They brought over my wife's favorite dinner and my favorite snacks.
Erika:Her BFF stayed the night. My one friend suggested getting a lawyer involved for the attempt to ask slander. He knows a guy, and I now have a meeting with him. I didn't tell my wife. I just want to see what the options are.
Erika:She needs some rest before we really do anything. My parents are over now, and I slept away for an update. My mother offered to stay for a few days to cook and clean. I think my wife might accept it. She showed us how to swallow the boys and gave us all these warnings against juice in bottles at bedtime when they are older because it could rot their teeth.
Erika:I started a whole conversation about no serum milk bottles because of choking hazard and other things. I think the baby talk has taken her mind off things. Her best friend has been playing a weird mix of guard dog and mama bear to my wife, and I'm glad she has the support. The BFF checks and screens the calls and messages before letting my wife see anything. If it's terrible, she has permission to send the video, and this is all on my wife's request.
Erika:She doesn't wanna face hate from her family right now. I managed to get screenshots of the post from friends. I had those same friends creep their profiles this morning, and the post have been removed. Apparently, it turns to a bloodbath in the comments going from support to outrage of being lied to. We got a few more apologies, and they sound sincere and damn it.
Erika:They were too ashamed to talk to us yesterday be after the video was sent. I still banned the rest of her family from visiting until further notice. Info diet time for them as well until we know who won't feed pictures or info to those three terrible people. My wife locked her sister this morning from her phone, but I'm leaving them unblocked. So if they try anything, I have proof.
Erika:I think that's it. Unpleasant. I knew they favored sister-in-law, but I didn't realize it was that much. I'm going to help my wife find therapist in the next few days. Any questions, I will try to answer.
Edgar:Yes. As I was saying, no mercy.
Erika:Isn't that crazy update? I did not think it was gonna turn to, like, in that whole, like, lies and Uh-huh. Oh.
Edgar:Yeah. All that. But the I think the lawyer is not the best idea if he's list if he's ever gonna watch this just because what does the sister-in-law have to, like, to lose? Nothing. If she if he wants a case, what one do you do is he gonna get?
Edgar:Like I
Erika:guess from the parents.
Edgar:I just don't think that would be worth it. But other than that, yeah, it's a good thing that she has, like, the video proof because otherwise, OP's reputation would just be ruined because the sister-in-law like, they would take her to work saying, oh, he's, like, a sexual predator.
Erika:So, yeah, it took a turn for the worst. I honestly think that there's just so much going on with her sister and the parents that it's insane. I can't believe they decided to just attack their daughter and sister like this, especially after giving birth. I honestly think they should just caught contact. Their toxicity is insane.
Edgar:Yeah. It looks like they're so they're in no contact with the parents and the sister-in-law. And I feel like the sister-in-law yeah. It's pretty safe to say that they they shouldn't have her in their life as at all. But the parents, like, they feel kind of bad, but, like, they took Yeah.
Edgar:My sister-in-law aside. So
Erika:Yeah. And and they shouldn't have. I I I don't know. I I at this point, I think she just should have prioritized her health and the babies, and nobody else matters because that's what's more important right now.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:So I would definitely say he is not that asshole
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And the sister-in-law and the parent are.
Edgar:Yeah. Definitely.
Erika:100%. And, also, the verdict was that he is not the asshole for the story.
Edgar:So the next story is titled am I the asshole for how I punish my stepdaughter for flushing her sister's spices down the toilet? I, 42 male, married my current wife when my daughter, 16, was four and my stepdaughter, 14, was two. They grew up as if they were blood siblings with occasional disagreements and jealousy issues, mostly from my stepdaughter. Two days ago was my daughter's dog's their deaf anniversary. Usually at this time, she'd rather be alone to write poems or look at pictures of her beloved dog.
Edgar:This year, she asked me to go with her to visit his grave, which is located in her grandparents' farm. My wife appreciates my daughter's need to have time alone. My stepdaughter wanted to come with us, though she wasn't close to the dog. My daughter refused to let her come and only wanted me to go. My stepdaughter fit and assisted on coming.
Edgar:I sat her down to explain her sister's need for space that day. She stopped after that. We left, and fifteen minutes later, my wife texted me that my stepdaughter had a breakdown and didn't stop crying, then flushed all her sister's spices that were in separate containers down the toilet. They were a gift for my daughter's Asian friend's mom since my daughter is into Asian food and cooks meals every week. I was stunned.
Edgar:I called my wife but got no response. My daughter asked what's wrong, but I just dropped her off at her grandparents' farm then went back home. My stepdaughter refused to come out of a room yelling that my daughter deserved it for excluding her like that. I was pissed. I told her I'd punish her for wasting spices that were important to her sister that she shouldn't even touch by taking from her savings to pay for the damages, but my wife thought I'd only take away privileges, not money my stepdaughter saved.
Edgar:She said she's so kid and she won't let me touch your savings but will pay herself. If my wife paid, then my stepdaughter would think her behavior is okay. She also said my daughter is to blame too for not letting her step sister come with her. She acted as if she never goes to the farm, though I take them there twice a month. I argue that this was, in my opinion, the right punishment to get this resolved.
Edgar:My wife said I was only making my stepdaughter resent me because she wants the money for a new bicycle. We kept disagreeing on this, and all I was thinking was my daughter's reaction when I told her. She was devastated, but I assured her I was taking steps to help her replace all the spices she lost. My wife called me cruel. Anybody asshole?
Erika:Absolutely not.
Edgar:Yeah. I mean, it's a little bit ridiculous, stepdaughter's, like, reaction to that.
Erika:I believe he's doing the right thing there here because, honestly, if she wanted to buy that bike that she was staying off for, then she shouldn't have flushed down her sister's food and spices. Like, that's insane to me. And then the fact that the mom did not pick up the phone call and manipulate the situation so he could drop off her doll his daughter, and he didn't get to spend that time with her to grief her dog and leave her there and then go back to deal with her daughter is literally manipulation right there. She's being completely biased, and she's jealous of the relationship he has with his daughter. I don't think he did anything wrong with just going his daughter and him to the farm
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:Since it's not her dog. I mean, I guess they could have, like, a little bit more of a sentimental thing and could have taken her with her, but there's nothing there because she doesn't really care about the dog. So she's there for what?
Edgar:I guess she has to be there.
Erika:Yeah. But the the you know, it's it's like a private moment between her and her
Edgar:dad. Yeah.
Erika:So the fact that she couldn't respect that and did all that and threw all the stuff in the in the bathroom and flushed it, it was so disrespectful and resentful. And honestly, jealousy. That was all jealous in saying that she deserved it was uncalled for. Were you done the same thing? What would you be your punishment if your daughter did that?
Edgar:Grounded and painting back the damages because that's, like, an important lesson anyway. Like, if if you do damage any, like, actual property, like, outside of your home, you're gonna have to pay for it, like, either in, like, jail time or in fines.
Erika:Exactly.
Edgar:So this is just basically, like, a small version of a fine, but that's just, like, something she shouldn't. Like, I I don't think I don't agree with the other parents' excuse that it's cruel to have the stepdaughter's, money go into that instead of her bike because that's just like it's a it's like your punishment.
Erika:Exactly. And the fact that she wants to pay you for it, she's not learning anything.
Edgar:She's gonna just think it's fine. And at least, like, for now, like, of course, the stepdaughter is gonna be upset about this, but when she grows up and she, like, looks back at all the less learned, I think she will appreciate it a little bit more.
Erika:Exactly. Because right now, if her mom is to pay for it, she'd be like, okay. My if I do anything wrong, my mom's gonna be there to fix it, and there's no consequences, which is the wrong thing to teach your child.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:So the top comment is the consequences you came up with is absolutely fair since when do consequences need to be adapted and tailored to the kid's preferences? You also shouldn't be afraid to insist on a consequence just because she's your stepdaughter. You've raised her most of her life. Moreover, what she did was wrong. So she wanted to save up for her new bicycle?
Erika:Well, her sister wanted to save those spices for cooking a meal. She owes her sister monetary compensation. The whole point is to show her that it is not worth doing something like this again. If your third daughter is sad, upset about this consequence, that means it's working, not that asshole.
Edgar:Agreed.
Erika:100%. I think he's being fair, and the stepmother is being an asshole because she's not allowing her daughter to get the consequences of her actions.
Edgar:Yeah. Do you find this to be, like, a divorce both hands?
Erika:No. I wouldn't say divorce. I would just say you and I would need to talk. If I was the husband, I'd be like, we need to talk, sit down about what needs to be done. And even though we're not seeing eye to eye, maybe we need a third person.
Erika:And this is where you would think therapy is not really worth it, but I feel like this is great here because then you'll see a different view and will give you an input that maybe you two are not looking at and will help you decide. So I think family therapy would be great at this point. And I know a lot of people can't really afford it or don't have, you know, interest in that, but I think family therapy would be amazing for this. Or as I don't know, where are they gonna get their third person that's not biased for the situation?
Edgar:Well, you need to be a little bit biased about this because, like, it's about the kids. And I feel like this is something between those two individuals, OPA and his fiancee or his wife.
Erika:But they're not seeing eye to eye. All they've been doing is disagreeing.
Edgar:Yeah. But the part but the important thing about, like, disagreements and arguments is that you guys had to see eye to eye, like, somehow. Like, you had to come to terms with that. You don't need, like, a third person, like, helping you or, like, inserting themselves into the situation. Because then it's like, oh, it's not us two solving the problem.
Edgar:It's, like, us three, figuring out, some issue or some solution.
Erika:Well, that's because they provide you tools to solve for next time.
Edgar:I could just use chat.
Erika:Okay.
Edgar:Or YouTube.
Erika:Still, it's I think it's an amazing option if, you know, they are able to do that.
Edgar:The therapist is just like a clutch because they can just figure it out themselves and just, like, grow, like, their communication and, like, their attachment and, like, cue like, their style of seeing each other for seeing each other eye to eye.
Erika:The I I don't think you understand what therapy is. I think for you, therapy is like a unnecessary third person. But for me, it that's not the case. A a therapist is someone that helps you get to a conclusion and doesn't, you know, necessarily tell you what to do, but helps you get to where you need to be in a relationship. And it's helping to see each other for who they are and trying to figure out how they could communicate with each other because everybody has a different way of showing, you know, either affection or a different way of communication.
Erika:And this a therapist helps you understand each other. It's not just, oh, you know, do this, do that. That's that's not how it works. Obviously, trying to find a good therapist is hard. That's why you you can't just be like, the first therapist I go to, that's the person I'm staying if you don't click with that person.
Erika:And then that doesn't mean going to a therapist so they can tell you what you wanna hear. It means that you you can vibe with that person.
Edgar:I vibe with no one.
Erika:Oh my god. You and whatever.
Edgar:I go into the the therapy session and bring in all my negative energy.
Erika:Oh my god.
Edgar:Just to harm them.
Erika:You're so dumb. I think therapist and therapy as eventually, as if you need it, and and a relationship would be great. I think it's helpful. However, not everybody has to agree, but I think that's a good option.
Edgar:I'll find a verdict on this.
Erika:He is not the asshole. He's doing a good job in parenting. The wife needs some help there.
Edgar:Yeah. I agree. Hope he's not the asshole.
Erika:Okay. And the next story is, am I the asshole for ignoring my wife for throwing away my late wife videotapes? I'm writing this because I don't know what to do. I have a daughter with my late wife, and her name is Eleanor. Her birthday is coming up in two weeks, and she's turning 18.
Erika:Background. Me and my late wife, Chloe, have been dating since college. We got older and ended up getting married. And after our wedding, she shared news to me that she was pregnant, and I was excited that we were expecting our first child. Since it was our first child, we bought a video camera and made little tapes and snippets of her whole pregnancy.
Erika:Wholesome things such as just us joking around or having lunch or talking to our unborn child through the camera. We made a promise to only show Eleanor the tapes until her eighteenth birthday. Fast forward two years after her birth, Chloe passed away due to a drunk driver crashing into her car as she was coming home from her mother's house. I I was devastated of her passing and went into a deep depression and having to raise our two year old daughter by myself. My friends tried to get me out again and start back dating, but every time I did, I felt like I was betraying her.
Erika:Years later, when Eleanor was 13, I met Wendy. We met at a gathering for my sister's birthday, and we instantly hit it off. She didn't mind that I had a daughter because she had two kids herself and just went through a divorce. Three years after we got married, now back to the present, Eleanor, eighteen, birthday is coming up. And I kept all the tapes for me to show her.
Erika:Mind you, her mother died when she was just two, so Eleanor doesn't remember her touch or her voice. I was excited to show her the tapes a week ago. I was talking to Wendy about it, and I noticed her expression going to happy to looking a bit uncomfortable. Wendy would always get uncomfortable when I talk about my late wife. I don't say things like, why can't you be more like Khloe?
Erika:Or Khloe was only supposed to be my first love. But I talk about her in a way to give my daughter a mental picture of what her mother was like. Wendy has always talked to me about Khloe and how it made her sad that she can never be like her. Khloe was a model then started working on her fashion career. And don't get me wrong, she was a really beautiful woman, but Wendy had two kids in college and not in the best shape due to her words.
Erika:I love both women how they are, and I've never had a preference, but I feel like Wendy is gaining some jealousy towards Khloe. I told Wendy that I love her just the way she was, and she broke down crying. The next day after that incident, she came up to me and apologized for the way she acted last night. I told her it was okay and it was good that she felt comfortable to share her feelings, and I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her forehead. She asked to see where the tapes were at, and I showed her the box of videotapes of my late wife in my closet.
Erika:Things were going fine until yesterday morning. I was looking for the tapes because I wanted to put them in a prettier box for my daughter. And when I went to go find them, the box wasn't in my closet. I looked everywhere to the point I walked downstairs to see my wife laying on the couch watching TV. I asked her about the box, and she told me she threw it away with a neutral expression.
Edgar:Heartless?
Erika:My heart dropped. And I asked her, what did she mean? She told me that I talked about her too much, and I need to move on with my life, so she threw them away as a head start. Ugh. I was fuming with anger because not only did she throw away what I had left of her, she threw away my daughter's big surprise.
Erika:We quickly got into an argument, and she noticed how angry I was, so she started apologizing. I got to the point I started crying and locked myself in our bedroom. It's the morning, and I'm writing this in my office, going through my computer, finding old files of any type of video of my late wife to give it to my daughter because sometimes my daughter still cries that she never got to meet her mother, and I really thought it would bring her closer to her. I've been ignoring my wife for the past day, and she's been texting me nonstop about how sorry she is, but I really just can't look at her right now. She's getting to the point our mutual friends are texting me to accept her apology and get over it since Khloe died over ten years ago.
Erika:But I'm trying to ignore them all because they never had someone so close to them die. I am working on finding these files, but in the meantime, I'll update you guys when something happens. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:No. I don't think she's the asshole in this situation.
Erika:Oh my gosh.
Edgar:It's, like, pretty, yeah, heart wrenching. And then the wife, she said, coldly, yeah. I just wrote it up. Like, it was a
Erika:big deal. Mhmm. Oh my
Edgar:It's just, like, someone's memory and, like, she just destroyed it for what reason? Because she's, like, she's jealous.
Erika:Yeah. And it's not only his memory. It's his daughter's. Mhmm. Like, she died when she was two years old, and she had no memory of her.
Erika:And not only was the surprise ruined, but also the only memories she would have had of her mom, her, like, mom. I think she needs to work on herself. She needs to really dig deep in there because what she did was so wrong. And the fact that she was so nonchalant watching TV after what she did is crazy to me. It just shows you that she didn't care.
Erika:It was, like, good riddance. It's so sad. Yeah. It's so sad. So the top comment is, dear lord, I'm honestly not one to advocate for divorce.
Edgar:I'm gonna say I thought you were gonna say violence. Me too
Erika:for a second, for divorce. But I do not think I could continue a relationship with someone who did something so wildly despicable. That isn't jealousy. That's a mental disorder.
Edgar:You guys cooking
Erika:her. She stole the only vestige of your wife that your daughter will have. This is not something you come back from or she can apologize for. This is a line in the sand.
Edgar:Yeah. I think this is like a divorceable offense. Yeah. Like, destroying any property is, like, pretty bad, but, like, destroying something that's, like, that's sentimental, from your own, like, husband or, like, your own partner is, like, not mess that's pretty messed up. Like, it's like you're crossing all the boundaries there.
Edgar:You're like, I wouldn't be safe. Like, I wouldn't feel like my stuff is safe. I feel like first thing I do
Erika:You mean you're not safe?
Edgar:Yeah. I wouldn't feel
Erika:She throw you away too?
Edgar:Yeah. Like, one day one morning, I wake up and, like, oh, where am I? And then the garbage can be like, oh, someone put you in the garbage.
Erika:Oh my gosh. No.
Edgar:Yeah. And I I I would feel safe, but, I mean, like, I wouldn't feel like any of my stuff is safe, and my stuff is the most important thing to me.
Erika:You're so funny. Yeah. I honestly feel like she not only did she throw away the last memory, it's like throwing it's like killing his wife all over again. Like, if you because that's the only thing she had Mhmm. And he had of the wife.
Erika:So now they have nothing. What are they gonna do? Absolutely. It's gone.
Edgar:That's why you gotta make everything digital?
Erika:Well, I mean, he said he tried looking for that. But, you know, back then, those tapes, you can't really
Edgar:Mhmm. It's like an annoying process of
Erika:Yeah. And I think she needs mental health. She needs a therapist.
Edgar:A mental therapist?
Erika:Oh, now now you agree with me?
Edgar:Like, the kind of therapist that they that talks to you when you have, like, when you're in in a straight jacket.
Erika:Oh my god. Well, I don't know.
Edgar:Like a different kind of Wicked.
Erika:Yeah. I mean I mean, honestly, I I had, like, a little inkling when she was like, oh, where is the tapes? I was a little bit, like, suspicious then because when he mentioned it, she didn't look happy at all.
Edgar:Yeah. I'd be like, it's in the cloud. Not here. Not anywhere.
Erika:Well, I think you're in the cloud in the iPhone, so you couldn't do anything. Imagine she goes into the iCloud and erases everything. That would be crazy.
Edgar:You gotta have backups to do backups.
Erika:Right? But, yeah, I I just found this suspicious all over. Like, I would have not told her where it was. Mm-mm. I I just feel really bad for OP and his daughter.
Erika:There's another comment that says, I believe this was premeditated given her asking where the box was. She, in essence, just killed her daughter's mother a second time. That's what I said. Okay. Truly nasty, and she needs cereal.
Erika:Cereal? Truly nasty, and she needs serious mental health. Agreed.
Edgar:Yeah. No. 100%. No one liked what she did.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, honestly, if you can't trust her with anything like that, what? She gonna throw away everything she don't like
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And say you need to start all over again? No. Divorce.
Edgar:Yeah. It's just like a different kind of controlling behavior. But, yeah, well, it's
Erika:basically toxic. This is way toxic. This is the most toxic story that we read today.
Edgar:Perhaps the most evil person ever.
Erika:I don't know about that. I think people have done worse. But
Edgar:For your final verdict on this?
Erika:I don't know. I I mean, obviously, he's not the asshole.
Edgar:No. He's the asshole.
Erika:But I like, what would you do in this situation?
Edgar:Get a priest. What? I need to excite the evil in his house.
Erika:Fuck you all. That's nice. I get to see that. Oh my gosh. But seriously, like
Edgar:That's what I do. But yeah. So, yeah, I'll be in that, affluent situation. Oh my god.
Erika:I I have
Edgar:a ex fiancee right now. Her ex wife is the fiancee, but that's the one that died. She she
Erika:Obviously, what'd you do?
Edgar:She didn't have him.
Erika:Oh my god. I God bless her. Oh my I would honestly
Edgar:I
Erika:would divorce. Yeah. This is that's really scary. That is so like, it's just a different level of controlling. I mean, what other things has she done that he doesn't even know?
Erika:Like, that he doesn't even like, how toxic she is that she thought this was gonna be a walk in the park by throwing it away. I think he needs to really reflect in, like, just divorce, honestly.
Edgar:Mhmm. So, yeah, the next story is titled, am I the asshole if I wanna break up with my girl because I am tired of her testing me all the time. I've been with my girlfriend for a year now, and she is always looking through my phone to see if I am doing anything against our relationship. She goes through my phone at least twice a week in my computer once a week. When I see her with my phone or on my computer, I ask her what she's doing, and she outright says, just checking if you're cheating.
Edgar:Two days ago, I went to pick her up at her best friend's house only to learn that she wasn't there. Instead, her best friend answers the door in in a revealing outfit and trying to seduce me. I noped my way out of there as quickly as my car can get out of the driveway. And when I got home, my girl was there. I sat her down and told her what happened.
Edgar:She laughed and said, that was just a test, and I passed. I am so angry right now because I have never done anything to say this type of mistrust. And I know she just does this because her ex used to cheat on her. I am to my wit's end, and I love this girl, but I don't think this is healthy. Would I be the asshole if I feel like I wanna break up with her?
Edgar:And he is not the asshole who wanted to break up with her. That seems exhausting. I wouldn't wanna do that every day.
Erika:Oh my god. It's like monitoring you at your every move. If you blink twice, you're like, why who do you think about why are you blinking twice? Exactly. I that's insane.
Edgar:That's just like messing with him for, like, no reason. Like
Erika:Poor guy.
Edgar:I just found yeah. I didn't think that would just be, like, a pain to have to deal with, especially, like, the with the trap thing.
Erika:Yeah. I think it was uncalled for, especially if he didn't give her any grounds that he's a cheater. You know, he shouldn't be treated like a cheater because he's not.
Edgar:Uh-huh.
Erika:The top comment is that's an awful situation. Here's a plan. Tell her you will break up because you don't think she loves you enough to trust you. Then after she goes crazy, she will go crazy. Just tell her, oh, honey.
Erika:It was just a test. Sorry. You failed it. Oh, I like that. But then also the other top comment is not the asshole.
Erika:That sounds exhausting, which what you said too.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's exhausted by that story.
Erika:No. Yes. Absolutely not. I would definitely break up with her. There's no reason for her to be like that.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Being tested twenty four seven to make sure you're not cheating is crazy to me.
Edgar:That's a pop quiz every day.
Erika:I think you just oh my god. I think if you're not ready to trust somebody, you shouldn't be in a relationship until you are able to trust somebody.
Edgar:Mhmm. So So you find a little verdict in that.
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Nope. Definitely not.
Erika:Run. Run while you can.
Edgar:Run fast.
Erika:Don't look back. So our last story is actually from the Instagram post, but we can't really play it because of the copyright music. I'll read the story right now. When I was in high school, my long distance boyfriends invited me to come on a summer vacation with them. After begging my mom to let me go, I learned that we would be staying on the tiniest cabin for a week.
Erika:This is the most I've ever been around a boy in my entire life. We had the best time and ate all the best food. And around the day three, my stomach started to hurt. I realized I had to fart. But but knew everyone else would hear me in the tiny cabin, so I held it in.
Erika:And I continued eating all the food all week, and my stomach ache was needing to fart became a stomach ache that I had to poop. But boys think girls don't poop, so I just held it in all week. No big deal. I got home and realized after holding it in for a week, plus, I couldn't fart or poop. Nothing.
Erika:Afraid to tell my mom I went to bed. I woke up to the most intense stomach pain. I crawled down the stairs and got to the kitchen. I was screaming, crying, and gasping. My mom woke up, thought I was dying, and rushed me to the ER.
Erika:They rushed me back, did blood work, CAT scan, my appendix, my ovaries, everything. I was sweating, throwing up. My mom was actually praying. Finally, they came back and said, when was the last time you passed gas and pooped? My mom stared at me, and I said, about ten days.
Erika:The doctor said, yeah. Well, you're all impacted. We're gonna send someone in and give you an enema, and this should clear itself up. Wait here.
Edgar:Did you give her the mochi treatment?
Erika:Oh my god. Yeah. We'll explain that later. Then it comes the hottest male nurse I've ever seen. He tells me to roll over on my set and slaps on some gloves.
Erika:My mom is laughing her ass off. I'm crying. He starts making small talk, and I'm humiliated. After he's done, he asked, so what has you stopped up? My mom says she didn't wanna poop in front of her boyfriend.
Erika:She thinks boys think girls don't poop. The hot nurse pats the back of my shoulder with my bare, just enema's ass hanging out and says, we know you poop, and winks, slips his gloves off, and tosses into the trash and swaggers out. As soon as we got back from the hospital, my mom called my boyfriend's mom to tell her I was at the hospital and I'm doing okay. I go to bed. I wake up to flowers at my door and my boyfriend says, everybody poops.
Erika:Oh my god. That's so embarrassing.
Edgar:That is very embarrassing.
Erika:Those stories are the best.
Edgar:I know. Yeah. It was funny. It's a good thing we have it in the description. But, yeah, it's just like when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Erika:Yes. Don't hold it in. Ten days is crazy. Oh my gosh. Alright.
Edgar:That seems painful.
Erika:Yeah. No. Oh, and then the mochi story.
Edgar:Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Erika:My sister Chelsea's friend, found a cat, and Chelsea faked saying that she found the cat instead. So my mom let her bring in the kitten that was about two weeks old. Yeah. And since we were, bottle feeding him and the baby formula made him clogged up up there, And we had to take him, what, twice or three times?
Edgar:Yeah. Three times to the vet.
Erika:To get him enema?
Edgar:Enema. Yeah.
Erika:Yeah. And it was just bad. Well, now he's fine. He's, what, two years old now? Three?
Edgar:Yeah. Two years old. Yeah. But he during the first few, like, days, he had, like, a a swollen belly.
Erika:Oh my god. Yes. It was really hard. Poor baby.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:I think the first time he pooped by himself, my whole family was cheering, and we were so happy.
Edgar:I wasn't there, but I heard He wasn't? I heard it was a show.
Erika:Yeah. He has, like, little litter box and then it was the the litter was open and everybody was just gathering around the litter box and we were like, oh my god. I think he's pooping. And everybody was around him and we we, like, cheered and clapped when he did. It was just yeah.
Erika:It was such a struggle. He was he was so cute. We'll probably put post a picture there.
Edgar:Yeah. What are these days?
Erika:He's so cute. Mhmm. So On
Edgar:Insta or Facebook?
Erika:Yes. He is adorable. So that's all the stories we have today. Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode. Check out our website, wwwyappings.com, and join our mail list for updates.
Erika:If you love our podcast and want to support us, subscribe and share to your friends and family. We would love and appreciate your support.
Edgar:Also, we started a new Facebook group called a I t a dash relationship and family drama. Linked in description. Join so you can share anybody asshole posts you like or share your own stories for us all to judge. We may even read a few posts in one of our episodes.
Erika:Thank you. Bye.
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