Episode 16
· 56:08
Yapping!
Erika:Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar:and Edgar.
Erika:And we are the Yapping Schnauzers. We entertain you with Yout worthy stories we find around the web. So today's theme is Excuse Me.
Edgar:Yeah. Lots of tales of audacity happening.
Erika:Yes. Mhmm. It's gonna make you say that.
Edgar:LOL. So I'm gonna start out with the first story titled Am I the Asshole with Continuously Triggering Her Trypophobia? I, 19 female, have had acne for so long that I honestly can't remember my skin without it. I used to wear a lot of concealer to cover it up, but that only made things worse. Eventually, I realized my skin was controlling my life and draining my bank account as well.
Edgar:So when I started at a new school, I decided to stop wearing makeup. My skin still isn't great, but I'm on medication, so I have some hope that it will improve. Here's the problem. There's a girl in my class, let's call her Callie, eighteen female, who has trypophobia. I had no idea until we were put in a group together.
Edgar:The moment I spoke to her, she started crying. Naturally, I asked her what was wrong, and she screamed at me that my face was triggering her trypophobia. Her friends immediately jumped in to comfort her while I just sat there, confused, wondering if I was supposed to apologize for my skin, something I obviously didn't choose to have. When I tried to speak again, she told me to shut up and leave because I was drawing attention to myself by talking.
Erika:Audacity. Mhmm.
Edgar:I asked what she expected me to do about it, and she said I could at least wear concealer. I explained that it wasn't an option because it's expensive and just worsens my acne. Her friends glared at me and called me selfish. That was just the first incident. Ever since anytime I sit near Callie or I have to present in front of class, she starts dry heaving or crying, having a panic attack, I guess.
Edgar:It's disrupting lessons so much that my teacher pulled me aside and asked if I could just wear concealers for the sake of keeping the peace. She admitted it wasn't fair, but said she couldn't think of another solution. I already feel like such a freak because of my skin. I know my skin is horrid, but why am I the one expected to cater to Cali? I didn't choose to have some acne problems any more than she chooses to have trypophobia.
Edgar:I can't help but feel like I'm being unfairly treated here, but at the same time, I know she can't control her reaction either. So a mighty asshole should I just wear the damn concealer?
Erika:That's so ridiculous.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah.
Erika:I can't believe they're trying to make her change when she's not the issue here. It's not her fault. She has trypophobia, which, by the way, I did wanna do, like, a those for those of you that don't know what trypophobia is, it's an aversion or discomfort triggered by irregular patterns or clusters of small holes, such as found in sponges, honeycombs, or certain plant structures. So it's not officially recognized as a fovea in medical terms, but it's widely discussed as a common visceral reaction.
Edgar:So basically, a whole a fear of holes?
Erika:Yeah. So because of her face, I guess.
Edgar:It's like some messed up though. Like, I can't like, that that's, like, the worst insult you can give somebody. Like, you have so much acne, it's triggering my phobias. Like, you just, like, feel messed up.
Erika:I mean, just don't look at her.
Edgar:Exactly. Like, that's the one of the easiest solutions. Or just, like, transfer to another class. I just think it's, like, ridiculous. Like, they want, OP to, like, start, like, on concealers and all that stuff.
Edgar:And she's, like, spending her own money just to please this one lady, one little girl.
Erika:Why do they why does OP have to come, accommodate her? It makes no sense to me.
Edgar:Yeah. And it's, like, not good for for Cali either because, like, not everyone's gonna, like, bend to a will, like, for the rest of her life, you know?
Erika:Yeah. In the real world, they're not gonna be like, oh, yeah. You know? What if she goes into an interview and the person has really bad acne? What's she gonna do?
Erika:Cry and leave? Like, there's just no reason for her to be catered to in this at all.
Edgar:I know. It's a little messed up on the the teacher's part.
Erika:I mean, if you don't know a solution, find it. Search answers. Ask somebody. I don't know. I mean, obviously, it kinda makes sense that Cali is the one that's supposed to be getting the help.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So the top comment is if her mental health is fragile enough that she reacts this way because someone near her has skin that isn't smooth enough, this is a situation where she should be seeking intensive therapy, not pushing you to accommodate her. She can't control the skin and makeup habits for every single person she might ever run into. Even if you cave, there will always be people who exist out in the world with skin that has pimples on it. They literally pressure you to make a medical condition worse instead of putting in the work to make hers better. Absolutely not that asshole.
Erika:Do not give in here. And I agree. It's ridiculous.
Edgar:Yeah. It's like yeah. They're doing for LP to, like, bend into the will of, like, Cali is gonna worsen Cali's condition, and LP's because it shouldn't as well. But not a good solution at all.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, it's not even recognized in the medical community.
Edgar:She told everyone once that she, she has this phobia right now. She want she's, like, playing it up, like, so hard because, like, you don't have to cry and have try, like, try heave in class.
Erika:Yeah. It just it doesn't make sense. Like, I wonder if she ever had other classes with her or if she's seen her before.
Edgar:Like Remember, OP is a new student.
Erika:Oh, damn. Yeah. Never mind. Yeah. So no.
Erika:But still, like, I mean, she's not it can't be I'm sorry. When you're a teenager or you're, you know, obviously, your hormones are everywhere, you you always get pimples. So you're telling me nobody has had pimples around her? Like, it just it doesn't make sense that now that, the OP is there, she has an issue. Like Mhmm.
Erika:It is just unrealistic for for her for everybody around her to have perfect skin.
Edgar:Exactly. Yeah. I don't wanna victim blame, but, yeah, definitely, like, I feel like she's maybe, like, like, just playing this up.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, maybe for the first time, I I get it, but come on. You really need to just she's not in your face. Mhmm. Like, literally, she's not obstruction obstructing your vision if she's across the room, and it's fine.
Erika:Like, I don't I don't get it.
Edgar:Just to put your eyes.
Erika:Yeah. Just look down. Don't look at her. Just he listens to her. I don't know.
Erika:She's just really, really needs help, I guess, if this is such a big issue.
Edgar:Yeah. Serious help. And so it's just like having her friends bully OP.
Erika:I know. It's so sad. It's not her fault. She already feels I feel like she has a low self esteem already, and this is not helping her case at all.
Edgar:Yeah. I agree.
Erika:I hope her skin clears up and, you know, she has more confidence, you know, as she gets older.
Edgar:Mhmm. So final verdict on the story?
Erika:Definitely not the asshole. Yeah.
Edgar:I hope he isn't. But, Callie definitely needs therapy at least for
Erika:Yeah. Some
Edgar:some sort of help.
Erika:I don't think nobody's a asshole here. She just I think she just needs help.
Edgar:Yeah. I think yeah.
Erika:If it's true, like, if she actually has it,
Edgar:you know? Well, maybe the teacher's a little bit of an asshole.
Erika:A little bit. But, I mean, some teachers just don't really care enough to try to find a solution, which sucks.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Alright. So next story is, am I the asshole for staying quiet after my coworker tried to get me fired only for my boss's wife to find out and be her and be her up in the office? Oh, man. I, 33 female, happened in a private relationship with my coworker, Chris, thirty four male, for about three years. We kept it quiet to avoid office gossip, but things took a turn when Jess, twenty eight female, joined our team.
Erika:She became obsessed with figuring out my personal life, constantly prying, making comments like, you and Chris spend a lot time together. And I wonder if there are any secret office couples. At first, it was just annoying, but then just escalated. She went to HR falsely accusing me using my relationship to get ahead. Chris and I had to sit through an investigation, but we were cleared.
Erika:Still, the damage was done. People started treating me differently, and the office felt colder. I thought it was the end of it, but it wasn't. A few weeks later, I noticed Jess getting close to her boss, Matt, forty two male. She started going on private business lunches with him and Sunday so suddenly had access to things she couldn't and shouldn't.
Erika:Then out of nowhere, I was called to HR again. Another anonymous complaint claimed I was creating a hostile work environment. I knew Jess was behind it, but instead of panicking, I started documenting everything. When HR confronted me, I almost exposed Jess' relationship with Matt, but I decided to keep quiet. I figured things she'll slip up on her own, and she did spectacularly.
Erika:One night, our team went to a restaurant after work. Consequently, Matt's wife was there with her friends. As she was walking by, she overheard Jess loudly joking with a coworker about how Matt was wrapped around her finger and how she was getting whatever she wanted at work. That got his wife's attention. I actually tried to warn Jess.
Erika:The next morning, I put her aside and told her she needed to be more careful because Matt's wife had been right there when she made those comments. I wasn't even trying to be petty. I genuinely didn't want to see this turn into a full blown disaster, but Jess just rolled her eyes, smirked, and said, please. She's so dumb to figure anything out. I shrugged and walked away.
Erika:I tried. Well, Matt's wife wasn't dumb. She started digging, and a few days later, she stormed into her office furious. She went straight to Jess's desk, threw a stack of printed out text onto the lap. Yes.
Erika:She had receipts. And then she swung on her. Jess barely had time to react before Matt's wife grabbed her by the hair and dragged her around, dragged her to the ground. Papers went flying, people screamed, and it got ugly fast. Jess fought back clawing at her, and within seconds, chairs were knocked over, a monitor crashed to the floor, and someone had to physically pull them apart.
Erika:Security got involved, but by then, the damage was done. The cops were called because Matt's wife would not let up, screaming about how Jess was a homewrecker and that she deserved worse. HR immediately stepped in, and it was chaos. Employees were filming, people were panicking, and Matt looked like he wanted to disappear. In the end, Matt was fired for misconduct.
Erika:Jess was escorted out for violating company policies, and his wife was taken out by security, but wasn't arrested since Jess refused to press charges, probably to avoid more embarrassment. As for me, I kept my job, and the office finally had a real scandal to talk about. Now some coworkers say I was being petty by not pushing harder to warn Jess, while others think she got exactly what she deserved. I never intended for things to explode like this, but after she tried to ruin my career, I don't exactly feel bad. Am I the asshole for staying quiet after she refused to listen?
Edgar:No. I don't think at all. Like, she even warned her. Jess kinda had, like, the karma coming towards her. Right?
Edgar:Saying stuff like saying this in front of the of the, the guy's wife and being so cocky, he has to say, oh, she's too like, the wife is too dumb to let's see if she figured this out.
Erika:Yeah. I don't understand what Jess' endgame was, honestly. Okay. So let's say she's sleeping with the the wife I mean, sleeping with the boss. And what happens next?
Edgar:Well, I guess she was clearly trying to climb the ladder. She was boasting about having him wrapped around his fingers, so probably was getting, like, some favors or more information so she can use dance to, like, just get higher and, like, just to get more respect and more knowledge around the office. But it is all, like, office politics anyway. I feel like they're, like, way too into their jobs, like OP and everyone involved in this story.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, I I don't get it. Like, I get what she was trying to do, but people with that mentality just, like, doesn't get you far. Sure. It might get you far in certain certain situations, but then you have situations like this where you get caught and then you're screwed.
Erika:Mhmm. And you lose everything. It's a gamble, really.
Edgar:Yeah. I feel like it does work, though. Like, for every just there's, like, 10 other people who are, like, who get CEO positions or executive positions just from, like, just some wreathling well, sleeping, wreathling, or just, like, having just playing a game, you know, and just being as as liked as they can be.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, a lot of people play dirty to get wherever they are. And it sucks because not a lot of people are, you know, there because they deserve it.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:But because they did the right things, and that didn't include stepping over somebody or cheating on something.
Edgar:Yeah. That's why, like, I don't really care about titles too much because you never like, you you have to see from, like, firsthand, like, how their actual skills and actual productivity is.
Erika:Yeah. I agree with that. But, yeah, I don't really believe that OP was, an asshole at all. I think she tried to warn her, but she refused to listen, and she got what she deserved. And for those people saying that she should have worked harder to warn her, yeah.
Erika:Mhmm. Yeah. No.
Edgar:Do you think OP was trying to, like, climb the ladder by having a relationship with her, coworker or her boss. I don't know who exactly Chris was.
Erika:She doesn't really specify about the relationship or he's, like, higher position than her or anything like that, but, I mean
Edgar:They seem to be about the same age. But, I mean, yeah, it's a little bit fishy that she didn't disclose their relationship.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, it doesn't seem like she got a better, like well, at least she didn't mention it. This is a lot of, like, backstory that she not she did not say.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:But, I mean, if she did, she probably didn't say it.
Edgar:Yeah. Exactly. I mean, it's probably, like, not that bad anyway because they're the same age. They like, like, even though it had, like, a scandal, like, I'm anyone over HR, like, they were able to hide it well enough, and they were able to, like Yeah. For it all to blow over without anyone getting fired.
Erika:Yeah. I'm sure if they had some kind of misconduct, HR will figure it out. I mean, unless they hide it really well, but that's kinda impossible. So I don't know. I I don't think they did anything terrible at least.
Erika:But, I mean, if you go from 42 and, she's 28, you know, that's a huge age cap. Obviously Mhmm. It was just for benefits. It wasn't really for, you know, because she liked them, especially if she knew he was married.
Edgar:It's a whole mess.
Erika:It really is. I think it's easy to find a a way to get higher and faster Mhmm. In a higher position. But at the end of the day, I guess it depends how you want other people to perceive you and to view you.
Edgar:Well, people can perceive you, like, terribly, but if I'm in a mansion, I won't care.
Erika:I mean, yeah. I mean, if you wanna live that way, it's it's up to you.
Edgar:Exactly. So your final verdict on this?
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Hopefully, definitely not the asshole. Jess and her whole fling thing. Yeah. Assholes.
Erika:Oh, yeah. The husband I mean, the boss too. Why are you sleeping with somebody or going on business, trips or, I don't know, like, business meetings with, Jess. Yeah. Makes sense.
Edgar:Chris's lunches in a romantic restaurant.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:Bro. Okay. This next story is titled, am I the asshole who are treating my coworker differently after she accused me of making her uncomfortable when I covered for her at work? I, 30 male, work in an office with a small team. A few months ago, my coworker, Samantha, twenty eight female, had an emergency and had to leave work early.
Edgar:She was supposed to finish a report that was due the next morning, so she asked if I could help her cover for her. I had some extra time, so I finished up a report and sent it under both of our names to make sure she got credit. The next day, she thanked me, but seemed kind of off. A couple of days later, I was called into HR. Turns out, Samantha had filed a complaint saying that my taking over her work without explicit permission made her uncomfortable and that it felt like I was trying to undermine her.
Edgar:I was completely confused because, one, she had asked for help, and two, I didn't take credit away from her. HR did an investigation, and after a week, they cleared me. But the whole thing shook me. I never expected that helping a coworker would land me in trouble. After that, I kept things strictly professional with Samantha.
Edgar:I still say hello and work with her when needed, but I don't chat with her casually, offer to help, or include her in group outings anymore. She noticed and confronted me about it, saying I'm treating her unfairly and being cold. She explained that she was just setting a boundary and didn't mean for HR to investigate so seriously. I told her I understood, but I need to protect myself too. So I'm just being more cautious now.
Edgar:She said I was being dramatic and should move on. Am I the asshole for keeping my distance? And, no, I think he's in the right to protect himself because, like, he he he helped her, and he said, okay. I'm gonna make sure you get credit. I'm gonna I'm gonna get credit as well because this is time off for me to help you.
Edgar:But, and doing all of this, I I still got in trouble. So that's, like, I would protect myself too if I was a nepotism.
Erika:Exactly. I mean, what did she expect for her to just say that she did it all?
Edgar:I think yeah. I feel like that that's what she wanted. Like, oh, you do the work and just say it was all under me. And, like, I don't know. It's, like, very, like, very dirty trick to do.
Erika:Yeah. Absolutely not. Like, what do you mean? That's why she got salty and mad that she didn't do that, just that. It's ridiculous.
Erika:She should get credit if she put her work in there. And the fact that she put her name was nice of her.
Edgar:Nice of him or her? Yeah. I don't know if he's a
Erika:Yeah. Whatever. It was nice of
Edgar:of he.
Erika:And the fact that she said, oh, well, I told HR, but I didn't think they were gonna take it serious is ridiculous.
Edgar:I know. Once you, like, contact HR, like, you kinda, like, you don't say it's just to, like, it's just to say it'd be, like, oh, keep an eye look eye for him. It's it's more like, oh, investigate this person or, like, I want this person to be, like, in trouble or something.
Erika:Yeah. I I don't get she's just trying to downplay whatever she did and calling her dramatic because she knows demonstrate that what she did was not not right. Mm-mm. Yeah. I just feel like she was just gaslighting her too.
Erika:And she has the completely right to say, I'm not gonna hang out with her. There's you could do a draw line. So when you have a you go into a job and you have coworkers, you can have them be coworkers, or you can have them be coworkers and then friends.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:You don't have to have coworkers be your friends. You don't have to hang out with them after work.
Edgar:Yeah. Because if if OP is gonna get in trouble for helping, this chick out, imagine, like, they're out in, like, in a public outing. And, like, what else can she, like, flag him for?
Erika:Yeah. That she she's gonna use things that she knows about her to get her in trouble or do so to manipulate her. Yeah.
Edgar:You you can't trust that anymore.
Erika:No. So she's whatever. She's gonna keep her distance for her own benefit and for her own safety regarding her job. Because she's yeah. I don't I think she's being smart by doing that, actually.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:So the top comment is not the asshole. She thought you were gonna cover her work anonymously, and she would get full credit. She was then trying to protect herself by saying you overstepped when making the complaint to HR. Continue keeping your distance. Mhmm.
Erika:Exactly. I agree.
Edgar:I know. But OP is more than nice enough to, like, have done that for her.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:Like, if I would ask, like, a coworker to, like, help me do this, like, I would be, like, really grateful that they're able to do that because I know everyone's busy at work. Everyone doesn't have time to, like, take a little bit of their time off to do any editing for me.
Erika:Exactly. And the fact that she asked help and she said, yeah. I can help you. It's crazy to me. She stayed after work to help her.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Like, come on. It's completely unreasonable. So a final verdict.
Edgar:Yeah. OP is not the asshole, and the coworker is definitely the asshole.
Erika:Yeah. She keeps she should keep her distance 100%.
Edgar:Very.
Erika:So next story is Emma, the asshole for kicking my mother-in-law out of our house after she refused to call her son by his name. My husband, thirty four male, and I, 31 female, recently had our first child, a son we named Elijah. We put a lot of thought into this name. We love the meaning. It was just felt right.
Erika:My mother-in-law, 62 female, had no strong opinions about it at first. She didn't gush over it, but she also didn't object or so we thought. The first time she met Elijah at the hospital, she looked at him and said, oh, little David, you're so perfect. I thought I misheard her, so I ignored it. But then when she said it again, I asked her, who's David?
Erika:And she just smiled and said, oh, it's just Susan better. I was too exhausted from labor to argue. But over the next few weeks, she kept calling him David, texting me things like, how's my little David doing? Or give David a kiss for me. I told her firmly that his name is Elijah.
Erika:And she laughed and said, oh, I know, but I think he just feels like a David. Neither my husband nor I nor anyone called David. It's not a family name. There's no sentimental reason behind it. It's just completely a random name.
Erika:She decided to call my child despite telling us despite us telling her not to. At first, we tried to let it go, hoping she'd stop if we ignored it, but it only got worse. When we FaceTimed her, she'd coo at him saying, grandma loves you, David. She even started knitting a baby blanket with the name David embroidered on it. Oh my god.
Erika:She is taking it too far. The final straw was when she came over for a family dinner and kept referring him as David in front of everyone. My sister-in-law asked, wait. Why do you keep calling him David? And mother-in-law laughed and said, because that's his name to me.
Erika:That's when I lost it. I said, no. His name is Elijah. If you can't respect that, you don't need to be here. She rolled her eyes and tried to wave me off, but I wasn't having it.
Erika:I told her to leave. She looked shocked, but she left without much of a fight. Now my husband is upset with me. He agrees that his mom was being weird and disrespectful, but he thinks kicking her out was too extreme, and I should have just let it go. My mother-in-law is now playing the victim, telling everyone that I keeping her grandson from her over a harmless nickname.
Erika:Some family members think I overreacted. Others agree that her behavior was bizarre. I don't know. Was I really in the wrong for putting my foot down? Am I the asshole?
Edgar:I think it's like yeah. It is weird that OP's mother-in-law isn't, like, is giving him her a weird name. Like, I I don't think it's a nickname even, like, to her. I think she's just, like, for some reason, woke up one day and said, you know what? I'm just gonna call this baby David now.
Erika:I just don't get it because usually nicknames are part of your name unless it's, like, a complete different, like, endearment.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And everybody knows and everybody agrees. Like, for example, for Elijah, it should be Eli. You know, like a nickname, not David. Like, where's David coming from? I I don't understand.
Edgar:I just wanna know, like, her thinking process. Like, the mother in law's, like, why David? Because that's just, like, a big mystery that this that's gonna be haunting the family from now on.
Erika:Like Where she got it? I I don't understand where why she's doing this. Like, yeah, I don't get it.
Edgar:Yeah. I wish we got more background on, like, at least the mother-in-law because it just seems very, like, strange and out of left field. I mean, if this is just like a nickname, I don't really mind it too much. You know?
Erika:No. I wouldn't like that.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Honestly, I wouldn't like that just because he the baby is has a name. So for example, let's say the child's growing up and everybody calls him Elijah and then he answers by Elijah. And then out of nowhere, the grandma's like, David, come here. Like and that's when your, you know, your child's learning it, learning his name. How are you gonna call him David and then Elijah?
Erika:Like, completely different names.
Edgar:You know, in other cultures, people have multiple, like, nicknames that, like like, in Russia, it's like your name can be, like, Ivan and you have, like, 20 different, like, names that are just variations of Ivan. Like, I've been asking,
Erika:like variations of of that name.
Edgar:Same name. And so, like, I I can't go deeper into it because I don't know all the names that have to have in my head, but also, like, I feel like nicknames. Like, for me, like, remember how I give all your, like, nephews and nieces, like, weird nicknames?
Erika:Oh, because you under you misunderstood. So my nephew has, a name, and we have two nicknames. Well, actually, just one. JJ and then his name is Jaden. But Edgar here calls him Julian.
Edgar:Yeah. Julian.
Erika:Mhmm. Because apparently, for a whole year, he he kept hearing us call him Julian
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Which I don't know where he got it from because we did not call him Julian.
Edgar:Guys call him Julian, and then I call him Julian. And then one day, I think it was, JJ's sister, Jean. He said, why are you calling Julian?
Erika:Who's Julian?
Edgar:Yeah. And then they're like, Julian?
Erika:No. I've never called him Julian. I don't know. Maybe you misheard, but regardless Well, I
Edgar:mean, it didn't it didn't confuse him. Like, whenever I accidentally call, JJ Julian, he's like, who
Erika:is that? Why you calling me dad? But it's fine because there's some type of connection with that. You know, there's this there's a j or JJ, but, like, you come from Elijah to David, there's just no correlation there. There's just no connecting that dots.
Erika:So I I think it's just I don't honestly, if she named the baby Elijah, she should respect that. That's it. And if she tells you that's uncomfortable and please don't call him that multiple times, and she continues to disregard her Mhmm. You know, her, not command, but more of, like, you know, please don't do that.
Edgar:Yeah. Hit boundary.
Erika:Yeah. Then she is definitely at fault here.
Edgar:Yeah. Because, like, I think as a nickname, it's fine, but, like, when, like, the parents say, no. I don't want you calling my child this, then you have to reflect it.
Erika:Yes. I agree 100%. Mhmm.
Edgar:Like, it'll be hard for the mother-in-law, but eventually, she has to get over because, like, this is not something that's okay by the parents at the very least.
Erika:I honestly don't think it's hard for her. I think she's just being an asshole here.
Edgar:Well, I mean, the mother-in-law, like, how long because is is it a birthday? Yeah. It's been, like, a year or so that she's been calling Elijah David. So it would be like a like, by that point, it's like a habit. But
Erika:that's weird. Like like, it's her like, they she didn't say that the her behavior is bizarre. Why is she doing this? I don't understand.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah.
Erika:Does she have, like, a, you know how people have, like, weird behaviors out of character? Sometimes that means that you have a tumor, like a brain tumor. Yeah.
Edgar:I was thinking too. Yeah. When I first heard that, like, is she does she is she, like how old is she? Because this is, like, definitely some sort of, like, old people thing going on in her life.
Erika:62 female.
Edgar:Like, maybe early, like, some sort of dementia.
Erika:I don't know. But I don't think so because, I mean, if you tell everybody calls him Elijah. I mean, you can't just have the dementia just for a name. Like
Edgar:She's bay barely moves in, like, from from how I'm hearing the story.
Erika:I don't know. I think either if she needs, to check out her health and or she needs to just stop being an asshole and call call the baby by Elijah.
Edgar:Yeah. Or at least explain her her reasoning behind David. Like, that's just so weird.
Erika:I mean, even if she explains, I mean, honestly, it's just Yeah.
Edgar:Even if she does claims, I don't expect them to, like, accept the name, but just, like, I just wanna know why.
Erika:Yeah. Just curiosity. Yeah. It's fine. Random.
Erika:Yeah. So the top comment is not the asshole. This is hella weird behavior, and your feelings are valid. I also find it odd that your husband thinks you overreacted, but you literally just told her to use the correct name or leave or to leave. It sounds like he made her choice, and now she's upset with you.
Erika:Exactly. So the husband should have backed her up. I mean, I think she just fed up, honestly. I would be fed up too. I just wouldn't kick my mother-in-law out of the house.
Erika:I think that's a little bit too much, but I would literally tell her in front of everybody to please stop doing that.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So actually, OPI had responded to that, and she said, it really is, and I'm still wondering who David is or why she chose that name. As for my husband, he's always had a hard time going against his mom in anything. So, yeah, that could definitely cause issues. He needs to put his foot down too.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:I think he's just lets her get away with a lot of stuff, which eventually will bite him in the ass. Yeah. But yeah. So what's the final verdict?
Edgar:I don't I think she's, like, a little bit of an asshole for kicking her mother-in-law out because that just causes more drama for the entire family. But I don't think she's an asshole for, like, for telling mother-in-law to respect the actual name of the child, Elijah.
Erika:Yeah. Like, I think it would have been an issue if, like I said, the nickname was Eli or something correlated with the actual name, not David.
Edgar:Maybe just mix up both of the names. Delijah.
Erika:Ew. That's terrible. Do. No. That's terrible.
Edgar:Can you imagine? No. Like, an embroidered baby. An embroidered blanket that just says d I l, do.
Erika:Great thing. Mhmm. But, no, I really think that, she I don't think she's an asshole at all, honestly. She shoulda she should have, not messed with the bull.
Edgar:Oh, wow.
Erika:Because she woulda got she got the horns. But I just I really think that she's not the asshole here. She's the survey. So what's the next story?
Edgar:Yeah. The next story is titled, am I the asshole for telling my birth siblings to fuck off and leave me alone and I don't care about their stupid fucking parents? I, in my twenties, male, was adopted as an infant. Actually, I was found in an alley by the dumpster, and when my bare family didn't come forward to claim me and nobody knew who I was, I was adopted. But I was an infant at the time, thankfully, so no long foster care experience.
Edgar:I was placed without anything to keep me warm in a low visibility area, and there was no signs I was lovingly placed. I basically looked like I was thrown away like trash. I've seen some old newspaper clippings about it. The story was told to me gradually throughout my childhood. My parents were always open about my adoption, though.
Edgar:I never felt othered. My family, parents, siblings, and extended family were my family even if I was the only non bio kid in the family. I was loved. I was treasured even and had a great life, but the circumstances surrounding my adoption meant some stuff was unclear, medical history being the biggest thing. I never really cared, but I got engaged a few months ago, and my fiance and I want children.
Edgar:And seeing the health stuff in my family has made me realize I have no idea if I could pass anything on to my future kids. After thinking it over, I did a 23 and me genetic testing, but I did it wrong, and I also mistakenly added myself to be found. I realized quickly after my results came in, but by then, it was too late, and two birth siblings found me. They're older. My birth parents had five kids before me.
Edgar:They all know about me and want and want to know me. The birth siblings started off somewhat reasonable, but when I made it clear I didn't I didn't want to hear my birth parents' story, they flipped a switch. They said how much their parents regretted giving me away and how they would have come forward, but they didn't want to get into trouble for abandoning like they did. They believed I owed their parents and them the chance to get it all out there and to build a relationship. I stood my ground, and I blocked them, but they followed me to social media and they insisted we are a family and I should be kinder to them and their parents.
Edgar:I was told it's not like I'm just a half sibling and, the baby who was missing. They sent me messages that were trying to make me feel bad for the parents, specifically their mom, and it pissed me off. After almost three months of dealing with them, finding ways around my blocking them, I told them to fuck off and to leave me alone and how I don't care about their stupid fucking parents. I had to delete my account because it was just random accounts after random account, and I couldn't block them fast enough in their outrage ever over what I did, over what I said. They told me their parents didn't deserve that.
Edgar:Anybody asshole?
Erika:Absolutely not. I'm sorry. She said they regretted giving her away or OP away. They threw OP away. They literally put her put OP in the garbage.
Edgar:I know. They're, like, kinda insane. They literally put them in the garbage.
Erika:And say giving away no. No. Absolutely not.
Edgar:I think yeah. This could've all been, like, a wholesome, like, get together, like, reuniting a family experience, but OP is, like, real parents. They want to not get in trouble for, like, for being thrown away because, like, that's, like, legal. Like, that's, like, you get arrested for that. So I feel like if they, like, if they really meant that they wanna, like, get together and, like, have everything be, like like, right, they should, like, come forward and say, yeah.
Edgar:We did this and, like, serve whatever sentence I need to.
Erika:I guess to get, you know, to go ahead and do the to pay for what they did, I guess. But, I mean, OP doesn't it seems like he doesn't wanna wanna forgive them, and that's up to OP. Yeah. I mean, if he I mean, he right now has had a good life, and he had a good parents, good, you know, growing good experiences growing up. And, I mean, for the most part, he was okay with his siblings Mhmm.
Erika:Original siblings, but when they started saying that he should forgive them, that's something that they shouldn't be pushing on him at all
Edgar:or her. That's, like, a a lot to, like, take in. Like, at the very least, like, OP's real siblings could have just said, hey. It's just, like, like, just build up to, like, a actual relationship. Just not, like
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:Don't expect the relationships just exist and, like, just blossom out of nowhere.
Erika:Yeah. I don't get that.
Edgar:From just meeting for a few for just meeting online.
Erika:Yeah. I think they overstepped. And good for OP to tell them, no. That's not what I wanna do. And that's it.
Erika:I don't think there was no reason for them to really try to pressure him and flip a switch and making OP to forgive them. I mean, it's not like you experienced what he experienced. Like, literally, he saw paper clips paper clippings on newspaper saying it was next to the guard. Like, really? Oh, he should be, you know, forgived.
Erika:He should forgive them.
Edgar:Yeah. Imagine all the bullying he got from that, like, as a child, like, in school.
Erika:It's just sad because I think psychologically, it's something that really, you know, affects you. But I'm glad he had a good family that was able to really, you know, show him love and care. Mhmm. So the top comment is send them all the newspaper clippings of a baby left to die in that alley. Did you at least get medical info out of them?
Erika:So because remember, the reason why he actually wanted to get that information was to see, you know, if he had any
Edgar:Any medical
Erika:issues. Yeah. So OP responded to that and said, I didn't get it from them, but the genetic testing did give me a decent picture of everything. I'm glad I didn't ask the birth siblings for direct medical history because they would likely be used to try to bargain for what they want. Mhmm.
Erika:Exactly. I think he dodged a massive bullet, and that's just people like that were literally red flags.
Edgar:I don't know. That's, like, kinda messed up. Like, I would wish that, like, Obi, would have, like, more caring, real siblings and real, like, parents, but it looks like they have their own agendas and they own things that they want from their relationship with the with the baby and the family, which is okay.
Erika:Yeah. I I don't understand. I just me, for my curiosity, I would wanna know why they did that. Like, what made them so desperate to throw me in the garbage? I know.
Erika:It's I mean, I get, you know, maybe too many children, too many, you know, issues and whatever, but I don't think if, if you're not able to, you could just give the baby for adoption.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Like, there's just no reason for you to be throwing the baby in the garbage. That's just ridiculous.
Edgar:Yeah. And
Erika:it shows you what type of people they truly are. Mhmm. So what's the final verdict?
Edgar:The final verdict. Oh, he is that the asshole?
Erika:No. I think he had he made his choice and they should respect it. Yeah. So the next story, this is something with I believe we had a story before where they were trying to see if somebody was stealing food. This was a different story, but it's I think it's kinda I don't know.
Erika:This was borderline kinda crazy. Okay. So the next story's title is Emma the asshole for telling my roommate to move out after she risked my life to prove a point. I, 25, female, have two roommates called Jenny and Abby. Jenny started noticing her food going missing and blamed us both and didn't eat any of her food, and I wasn't super worried.
Erika:Yesterday, Jenny called the roommate meeting. And when we were off work, she sat down and told Abby she wanted to be paid back for the food that's gone missing. Abby started saying that it wasn't her. It was probably me. That's when Jenny said it couldn't have been me because she was putting nuts in her food and in her stuff.
Erika:Like, that food doesn't even make sense to have nuts in it because I'm severely allergic to them. She said I couldn't have done it because I'd be dead. She said it all proud like she got Abby, but I literally felt sick. I could have died. Also, it's really expensive to replace them.
Erika:Like, for $30 of food, she was willing to risk my life. She and I argued, and she knew it wasn't me. So that's why she did it, but I don't believe her. It's my name on the apartment. I'm sir fairly certain I'm justified in kicking her out, but I'm double checking.
Erika:It feels absolutely insane that I could lose a friendship of four years to something that wasn't even my fault. Abby's pissed at me and says I'm overreacting, but she also doesn't want me to want to move out, so she's at least somewhat on my side. Jenny is angry not speaking to me. I told her she has thirty days to get out. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:Definitely not. Like, I feel like, we've seen, like, a lot of stories where people, like, take food from, like, a coworker or from, like, a a roommate, but they've always, like, tried to do something obvious or something that, like, was not life threatening. In this case, this is, like, something that is life threatening. Like, if Jenny was wrong about who was stealing her food, she could have killed OP.
Erika:Yeah. She's severely allergic.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Like, what do you mean? What if she ate something and nobody was home? She could've literally they they would've come back to the apartment and she would be dead.
Edgar:That's crazy. Like, imagine like, in our situation, like, I it's like like, imagine I put, like, razors on, like, all the food that we have.
Erika:Razors? Yeah. No. But thank you.
Edgar:Like, shaving razors be, like, if anyone ate it, they would have died. And that's how I know who died. Took my food. We did see.
Erika:Crazy to me.
Edgar:No. Because they died.
Erika:No. But you could see that. I mean, you know, like, people that put powder, like, for make you use the bathroom. Mhmm. Like, that's fine.
Erika:Like, why? You just get a little bit, you know, diarrhea and stuff. Like, you know?
Edgar:Become like a faucet. Yeah. But
Erika:But it's not, like, threatening. It's not you're gonna die because you're pooping.
Edgar:That's uncomfortable. But yeah.
Erika:Yeah. But I think this is a line where it was definitely crossed.
Edgar:Yeah. Because he was out of her right or someone died.
Erika:I mean, we shouldn't be laughing, but it's just crazy. Like, what is her well, really her envy?
Edgar:That's so homicidal. Like, like, I could imagine Abby, like, the one who actually sort of food would be like, I stole food, but what you did what you did was worse. It's civility.
Erika:No. It was crazy to me. I mean, like, OP said, she could've literally replaced the $30 food, and it would've been fine. Yeah. But, like, killing her, you can't replace her.
Erika:Like, what you gotta do? You're gonna go jail? Because you literally poisoned her. No. Well, I mean, technically, she didn't know, but still Mhmm.
Erika:She should have not done that. She could have put, like I said, like, something to make her poop or have diarrhea. That's it. Then she would have found out who it was.
Edgar:Or put a camera. Why and I feel like a lot of people could easily just put a camera in the place that they're, like, the kitchen place.
Erika:Yeah. That's good. I mean, that's a good option too.
Edgar:Like, no one gets hurt. No one, like, becomes a faucet. And then to her, like, no one dies. It's a little bit it's
Erika:a little bit nice revenge there. But, I mean, yeah, still, that's that's a good way to think about it. But still, I think she definitely was an asshole with this. There was no need for her to almost kill her.
Edgar:And imagine if OP, like, accidentally ate the wrong food.
Erika:Yeah. That could also be that. And then if she's severely allergic, what if, like, a little bit of peanut butter touched her food or something like that? She could have literally gone into shock
Edgar:as well. Yeah. Having all that in the fridge, like, it probably contaminated, like, a bunch of the other items there.
Erika:Yeah. No. I think she wasn't really thinking it through. She just was happy that she figured out it was Abby. She's so ridiculous.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:She probably read too much anybody asked for stories and, like, yes. I know what to do.
Erika:Ridiculous. Right. So the top comment is I would also kick Abby out for blaming you for something she knew she did. Yeah. They both should get kicked out.
Edgar:Both of them? Yeah. Yeah. You don't want you don't want a murderer and you don't wanna
Erika:A liar.
Edgar:Stealer. A liar. Yeah.
Erika:Yes. And somebody that steals. A liar and somebody that steals. No. Kick them all out.
Edgar:And a murderer. Yeah. Difficult for that.
Erika:No. Both should be kicked out Mhmm. And cut ties completely. You don't want people like that in your life. Forget that.
Edgar:I'm curious. But, final verdict?
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Not the asshole. Just just get out of that situation.
Erika:Yeah. Kick them out. Yeah. You
Edgar:don't wanna get, like, poisoned before you leave. So the next story is titled, am I the asshole for refusing to change my birth plan to please my mother-in-law? Some babies were approaching the horizon. I had dreamed of having, unmedicated home birth. My mom went unmedicated as well as my grandma and my great grandma, who was also a traditional midwife and birth keeper.
Edgar:So growing up, birth was spoke highly about. No fear was ever instilled in us around birth or pregnancy, although I obviously am aware of complications that can happen. As soon as the test turned positive, I contacted a midwife and became the steps to midwifery care and a planning our and I also went into planning our home birth. When my mother-in-law found this out, she flipped out. She called me irresponsible, irrational, and downfire negligence, asking if I had any idea of the complications and interventions that could be needed, etcetera.
Edgar:And she said she refused for me to do this. I wanna make it clear. My husband supports this decision a %. And all I did was mention home birth as an option, and he did the research. He educated himself, and he took time to learn about it before agreeing.
Edgar:And she doesn't believe this, as if I am demanding we go this route against my husband. Every day, since multiple times a day, she sends me links of videos talking about traumatic birth stories and situations, infant obituaries, and asks me every day what hospital I have chosen.
Erika:Crazy. Mhmm.
Edgar:I don't plan on changing my birth plans at all. My husband has tried to step in and tells her to stop, but she refuses to let it go, and she turns herself into a victim. It's like going around in circles. I don't know what to do. I finally just responded and said I would unblock her once the baby is born, but now she is blowing up my husband's phone, crying, complaining.
Edgar:I'm going to keep my baby away from her. I said I wouldn't block her. I don't want to cut contact with my business family. What should I do besides change my boyfriend? A muddy asshole.
Erika:Oh my god. Absolutely not. She's really the mother-in-law is taking it too far. Just because she doesn't agree doesn't mean she's gonna literally make her feel guilty for wanting to do that.
Edgar:I know. And, like, I I don't get the mother in law's reasoning because, like, oh, you're manipulating my son to do like, to have the birth the way you want it, so I'm just gonna manipulate you to have the birth be as I want it.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, it's a choice that they both made Mhmm. That they want to follow through. And at the end of the day, it's their baby. And if they decide to do that, it's their choice.
Erika:Sure. The mother-in-law can give them a certain, you know, this is my reasoning, but it they don't have to follow through.
Edgar:Yeah. I mean, I can understand if the mother-in-law is, like, concerned about, like, a home birth, like, she probably just doesn't know about how that works and, like, the precautions they would take. But if she was so worried and she knows that OP doesn't wanna change, she can just, like, just support her, like, best she can, like like, in this, in this endeavor.
Erika:Yeah. I don't understand. She's taken it too far by sending her video links of traumatic birth stories and situations Yeah. Yeah. Infant obituaries.
Edgar:I know. That's, like, messed up. Like, I that means she deliberately went into Google, looked up obituaries for babies, and, like, that that's, like, her evidence. Like, that's just, like, too much like, that's for her on her end, it's manipulation.
Erika:Yeah. And she's taking it too far. I think she just needs to be acceptive, accept that they're gonna do this and just be there for them if necessary.
Edgar:Yeah. Be there. Yeah. Just provide the support, like, as much as you can. And then, hopefully, she comes around.
Edgar:I don't think she will by the time, like, the baby is born. But yeah.
Erika:Yeah. I looked up, the birth rates. It looks like they actually has gone up and increased twenty two percent, from 2019. So it looks like it's rising.
Edgar:Yeah. Like the popularity of of home birth?
Erika:Yeah. Which, I mean, I can understand. But, I mean, it it doesn't mean that she has to, you know, do whatever she wants to do. I think it's it's great that they made a decision, and it seems like it's something that they've been doing for a long time, her family. And so she feels comfortable in doing a home birth.
Erika:So she, the mother-in-law should respect that and shouldn't be trying to change her mind. The top comment is not the asshole, But please make sure you have a licensed RN for a midwife and not an unlicensed doula. And if there's a complication, make sure you don't wait to go to the hospital. I know someone who stuck to her home birth plan too long and almost died on hemorrhaging. And then certified nurses, midwife, and RN or CNMs are nurse practitioners who have the least master's degree.
Erika:I agree. So, yeah, I think that's a a good option. I mean, just like I said, if you decide to do this, you should be able, you know, well well,
Edgar:Research?
Erika:Yeah. Definitely.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Because you don't wanna risk the baby's life or yours.
Edgar:Yeah. But I believe, though, Pete probably like, she has, like, a whole family, whole ancestry of experience with this. So she probably knows, like, the best course for action, and she probably knows, like, what to do in the modern times, like, with getting RN and just getting medical
Erika:help. Yeah. I mean, I think at this point, she's prepared. I mean, if years and years of experience, it should help her out. So Mhmm.
Erika:I think the mother-in-law in this case is really the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. So but a verdict then.
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Obi's not the asshole. But yeah. Mother-in-law, asshole. Change your weight, please.
Erika:Yeah. I mean and then at this point, if you need to have low contact with her on after the birth, you should because, you know, at this point, she shouldn't be stressed or anything like that. Mhmm. Especially if she, you know, she's trying to have a home birth.
Edgar:Yeah. I imagine all those baby obituaries is very stressful.
Erika:Oh my god. I think she that's crazy to me. She really, really crossed the line. She needs help.
Edgar:Yeah. So messed up.
Erika:Okay. So next story is my friend's perfect relationship was full on FBI operation. So heads up on this story. I believe it's fake, but I thought it was a cute read and funny. Mhmm.
Erika:I wish it was real, though. So it starts so my best friend, Matt, has always been a hopeless romantic. The kind of guy who believes in soulmates. Since good morning text unironically and probably watched The Notebook too many times. A few months ago, he met his this girl, Lisa, on a dating app.
Erika:She was perfect. Too perfect. Gorgeous, funny, into some weird indie bands as him, and get this. She actually laughed at his terrible puns. Within weeks, they were inseparable.
Erika:Lisa was always around, but something fell off. She never let him take pictures of her. She never talked about her job, just said she was in government work. She always paid in cash. One night, we were at the bar and Matt stepped away to take a call.
Erika:Lisa left alone with me, leaned in and said, you seem like a good friend. Make sure Matt stays out of trouble. What? Then two days later, she just vanished. Poof.
Erika:Phone disconnected. Apartment emptied out. Matt was devastated. Though she ghosted him, he spiraled hard. Then about a month later, we were watching the news, and there she was, Lisa.
Erika:Except her real name was special agent Lauren Carter, and she was testifying at some huge undercover sting involving a money laundering ring. And I had been dating an FBI agent working a case. And the best part, he wasn't even the target. She was just using him as a cover story. To this day crazy.
Erika:He refuses to use dating apps.
Edgar:Yeah. I can tell why you think it'd be fake. Like, special agent Lauren Carter is, like, such a fake name.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:But maybe that's the point. Like, she has to have a fake name even, like, when she is not on the cover.
Erika:Special protection, I guess. But still, I I thought it would be nice if it was true, but yeah. I think it's it's funny.
Edgar:I think yeah. Like Poor guy. He finally got the the chick that he he always wanted, and it turns out, it was all fake. It was all just a cover story. Man is down tremendous at the moment.
Edgar:You're so funny. I I I have heard he's still aspiring to his day.
Erika:Well, he's staying away from dating apps, so there you go. Mhmm.
Edgar:I wish we can get, like if this is real, I want I wish there was, like, links
Erika:An update or something?
Edgar:I just links to, like, the news story that just broke out in.
Erika:Yeah. That would be kinda cool. Mhmm. I think, nobody's the asshole here. I mean, she was doing her job.
Erika:There was not really any, really anybody at fault here.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:There was a link there.
Edgar:Oh, an update? Oh, so that's the actual story?
Erika:Yeah. It looks like I don't know if it's true, though. It says, oh, it says fbi.gov.
Edgar:I would have to look into it, but, I mean, it looks okay enough. So we'll put this in in
Erika:we'll put
Edgar:this in the description, I guess, for everyone to research. But, yeah, it looks like there is some
Erika:A picture, and it tells a little bit about them.
Edgar:Yeah. Some information about Lauren Carter, the dream fake girlfriend
Erika:Yeah. Of
Edgar:your of your dreams.
Erika:I mean, she is pretty. Mhmm. Okay. You said but I think she's pretty. It's pretty cool.
Erika:Yeah. So we'll link it into the description of this story or, yeah. And you guys can take a look.
Edgar:Okay. So, yeah, so final verdict on the story?
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Not the asshole. Now I don't even think the dispatcher agent was an asshole.
Erika:Oh, she was doing her she's trying to protect herself.
Edgar:Yeah. She was just doing her job. Yeah. So Don't worry, buddy. It was just business.
Erika:You're so funny.
Edgar:So yeah. So no one's the asshole.
Erika:Yeah. So that's all of the stories we have today. Thank you for tuning into this week's episode. Check out our website, wwwyappings.com, and join our mail list for updates. If you love our podcast and want to support us, subscribe and share to your friends and family.
Erika:We would love and appreciate it so much.
Edgar:Also, we started a new Facebook group called Am I The Asshole dash relationship and family drama. Linked in the description. Join so you can share Amity Asshole posts you like or share your own stories for us all to judge. We may even read a few posts in one of our episodes if you're lucky.
Erika:Thank you.
Edgar:For, watching.
Erika:And listening to us. We appreciate it. See you next week. Bye.
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