Episode 14
· 59:23
Yapping!
Erika:Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar:And Edgar.
Erika:And we are the Yaping Stouchers. We entertain you with the app worthy stories we find around the web. We'll start with a quick comment from a Reddit post titled, and on our Valentine's Day, what's the worst day you've ever been on? So it's safe to say that our theme today is Valentine's gone wrong. So it starts off as, first date, I take her to a movie.
Erika:That's what she wanted me to do. Then we went out to eat an Italian restaurant. During the meal, I feel my stomach start bumbling. Her friend calls her and says she locked her keys inside and needed her to come let her in. Her apartment was a good thirty minute drive, so we leave.
Erika:My stomach is making some noises, and I'm feeling it. Halfway through the drive, it hits me. I'm about to crap my pants. So I'm speeding to her house with the windows down and the stereo crank so she can't smell or hear my involuntary farts.
Edgar:Wow.
Erika:Finally, we we pull up to her apartment. I ask her if I could use her restroom, which she replies with, of course. We walk up to her apartment door, and and then it's open. A large group of her friends are there. It turns out it was a surprise birthday party for her.
Erika:Without wasting any time, I make my haste for the bathroom. The bathroom is rather small with an accord accordion door and located right across from her bedroom. But I cannot help. I sit down on the toilet and unleash the wrath of God on this toilet. I could not have been quiet no matter how hard I tried.
Erika:I'm there for a good ten minutes. I finish, flush, wash my hands, walk out walk out.
Edgar:You can say it.
Erika:Walk out to her and three of her friends standing there with the most disgusting looks on their faces. More disgusted looks on their faces. So I just said, I gotta go. I left and turned her out to be our first and last date.
Edgar:I mean, the date itself isn't bad. It's just that, everything after the date.
Erika:I think he's lactose intolerant, and he should have not been eating spaghetti or anything with cheese and milk. Mhmm. And that's why he felt felt the rumbling. I think the worst part is that there was an accordion door, and those things don't
Edgar:What's an accordion door?
Erika:So it's like one of the you know, the closed closed doors that go like that?
Edgar:I open closed Oh, and it's sliding doors?
Erika:Yeah. But they go like that, and they're like a triangle like this.
Edgar:So they said, like, do you hear everything? Yes. They cried hearing crying? Yeah. Praying for praying for some deity to, like, give him mercy.
Erika:Yeah. There was no soundproof at all in that bathroom door. So they heard everything.
Edgar:That's crazy. I mean, it is normal, but, like, it I feel like everything went wrong for him at that moment. He was, like, a surprise party, like, just a bunch of traffic and having to go a long distance. Like
Erika:I mean, he was really nice enough to do that. It speaks volumes. Like, honestly, I think it would have been hilarious, but I don't think I would have, like, I would have just, like, scarred him for doing that, like, altogether. Because if he was nice enough to take you back to your apartment thirty minutes away and then still wanna hang out with you. You know what I mean?
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. So he yeah. He's definitely, like, one of the nicer guys or one of the more desperate guys depending on how you see it. Oh, okay.
Edgar:Because he has, she was, like, with her friends and all that stuff. I imagine
Erika:It was a surprise party too.
Edgar:Imagine that, like, all these people, it probably, like, kind of influenced her as well. They're like, oh, why'd you bring this dude?
Erika:Yeah. That's that's kind of funny, though. I feel bad. Yeah. Would that be, like, a deal breaker for you?
Erika:If you had, like, a first day, like, day, if you brought a girl home and then she'd, like, destroy the toilet and your family
Edgar:I think I feel like I would laugh. For me, it wouldn't be like a red flag or something that, like, ends it, you know? Because just things happen sometimes.
Erika:Yeah. Like, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Edgar:Exactly. Yeah. I think we I still go go into a few more dates afterwards, but
Erika:Let's see how it goes. Yeah.
Edgar:There it goes. That that alone wouldn't be like some breakup or someone before.
Erika:Yeah. I mean but I think it's embarrassing for the person that happened. So I think they would not wanna see you because they're, like, too embarrassed to see you again. I think I would never look at the person again if I would've done that. But if I've had somebody done that to me, I wouldn't care either.
Erika:I wouldn't give them so a chance.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Alright. There's no really top comments because it was like a a comment itself and real.
Edgar:So And and like to close it off, I know this isn't an MIT asshole story, but, like, who would you say is the asshole in this situation if there are any?
Erika:Nobody. I think the friends were kinda judgmental. They're giving him disgusted looks. Yeah. But, like, I mean, it happens.
Erika:Like, it is what it is. I mean, it's kinda rude that you go to somebody else's house and explode them.
Edgar:Is it?
Erika:I literally
Edgar:I mean, like actually in writing its course.
Erika:I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I mean, you don't even know this chick and then you go to the her apartment and then, like, and, like, really explode in there. I mean and everybody hears it. Like, I don't know.
Edgar:Sebastian, just like one last thing too. Like, the the the guy in the bathroom, he, like, he's using the bathroom and then he has the music stop. But yeah. It's just
Erika:bad luck.
Edgar:I think ultimately, like, I think just the friends were the assholes in the situation.
Erika:A little bit. Yeah. I mean, it's understandable to be disgusted because come on. Mhmm. Anybody would like you come out the bathroom after destroying it.
Erika:And even like, ew. But I mean,
Edgar:I don't know. I don't
Erika:think anybody is an asshole. It's just it's just something that happens. People judge. Alright. So what's the next story?
Edgar:Yeah. So this next story is titled, am I the asshole for telling my husband he is insensitive for not wanting to get me a Valentine's Day gift. Background number one. My husband secretly met another woman about two times a year for four years and complained about me to her while pretending to me that everything was fine. There was no romance, but he shared a lot with her that he didn't share with me.
Edgar:And she encouraged him to lie to me. I gave him another chance and we are supposed to be reconciling right now. Background number two. My husband is Japanese and I am American. Every year we rotate between American and Japanese style valentines days.
Edgar:For Japanese style, the woman gives the man chocolates, which he reciprocates on white day a month later. Background number three. My husband is often passive and I am often labeled as controlling. Recently, I told him I would no longer make requests of him, I e, no houseworks, planning dates, etcetera, and allow him to make all his own decisions. Usually, I bring up Valentine's Day a few weeks in advance and we discuss how we will do it this year.
Edgar:We often can't remember what we did last year, so we had to discuss it. This year, to let him make his own decisions, I bought him chocolate and I let him deal with whether he wants to do it on his own. Three days before Valentine's Day, he asked me which way we are doing it this year. I say it's up to him. He seems to remember doing it American style last year.
Edgar:So he wants to do Japanese style this year. I say okay. The next day, I remember that we actually did Japanese style this year and I tell him so. He asked me what I would like to do then. I say it's up to him.
Edgar:He chooses Japanese style again. When I asked him why, he says there was no particular reason and he didn't think about it much. I got upset because it seems like he made a decision based on what is easiest for him rather than considering what I would like. As I am American and we did a Japanese style last year, I would have liked to receive something. He said I shouldn't get upset because he would have done it American style if I had told him what I wanted.
Edgar:However, I think he should have come to that conclusion on his own. At first, I tried not to say anything since I didn't want to control this choice. However, he could tell I was upset, so he asked me what I was what was wrong. When I told him, he argued with me about it. Then we got in a big fight where I basically said he's insensitive, and he said I am overly sensitive.
Edgar:Am I the asshole?
Erika:I wouldn't say she's the asshole.
Edgar:I wouldn't say she as an OP is the asshole. And, I think him, he's, like, a little asshole ish, but, like, not, like, overly so. Like, he's
Erika:He doesn't care. It feels like he just I think he's just already clocked out since
Edgar:he
Erika:cheated he cheated on her.
Edgar:Oh, I forgot that. Okay. So he is the asshole. I feel like okay. I I I totally forgot.
Erika:Forget. It's the first sentence.
Edgar:Because it's such a long time ago since I read that. But yeah. Okay. I guess, yeah, that makes sense now that why he's acting that way. I was like, why is he acting, like, so passive and stuff like that?
Edgar:But, yeah, if he's been, like if he's emotionally cheated with someone else, I can see why he's, like
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:Not fully into this relationship.
Erika:I don't get why she's still with him.
Edgar:Mhmm. I think it's a mixture of, like, comfort, but also for the situation, there's, like, a a lot of miscommunication that's, like, obviously, like, affecting relationship.
Erika:Well, I mean, it's kinda hard to trust or try to be with somebody. Well, I mean, I guess from not from experience, but what from what I heard. I mean and then how I would feel if I was cheating. I don't think it would be hard for for anybody to trust that person or, you know, try to make him work a little bit harder for what he did. You know what I mean?
Edgar:Yeah. I think it's a
Erika:Make up for what he did. I don't know. I think he just she's just kinda hanging on too long, and she should just let him go, unfortunately.
Edgar:I mean, it depends on how long they've been together. But, I mean, for her to hinge
Erika:It doesn't matter how
Edgar:long effort on the Valentine's Day is, like, I don't think it's that wise either. Like, we have something like this. If they do wanna reconcile past the the cheating, it should be, like, kind of, like, a daily or weekly thing they work on, not just like, oh, we better place all the importance and all the effort on the Valentine's Day.
Erika:Yeah. And yeah. And I feel like he's not making the effort, though, because he chose the the holiday celebrated as the woman doing everything.
Edgar:Yeah. I mean, I never heard of that, like, in well, I mean
Erika:I have.
Edgar:I I don't know about the Japanese way of doing a lot of things, but yeah, I never heard that, like, in Japanese Valentine's Day that the woman, like
Erika:Makes chocolate. Yeah.
Edgar:Yeah. Makes chocolate, and they they initiate the, the the, I guess, the effort.
Erika:Yeah. I've heard of that. And then they they actually do white day.
Edgar:Well, why is it called white day? Do you know?
Erika:No. But I know it's, like, something that where the man brings her stuff now on that day, reciprocates it back. Yeah. And It
Edgar:takes a whole month to do that?
Erika:Yeah. I don't know. It's Bro. I don't know. I don't know their culture.
Erika:I think that's pretty interesting because, you know, that's not how we do it. Okay. But the top comment is I really don't know how the dude can make it any clearer that he's just not that into you anymore. He checked out at least four years ago, probably more, leave, for your own sake, while you still have some sole respect. This was painful to read.
Erika:You deserve better. Not that as well. I agree.
Edgar:I wasn't in pain, but yeah. I get it.
Erika:No. It was painful to read because, like, she's labeled as somebody that's, like, controlling. So she lets him do whatever he decides. But then he doesn't care enough to do anything. It's sad how much she's trying to have faith on him, but he she he's just doesn't care.
Edgar:Yeah. I think we're just kind of going, they should just, like, talk through it just to see, like, where everyone's at and, like, what their expectations are. I just need to communicate more because if it works out, like, there's, like, a password working out that can work on that. But if there isn't and they, at least OP's, boyfriend should step forward that. So just, like, make it easy on everybody.
Erika:Yeah. And then just how their communication, I feel they're really lacking on that. I've like, they're just simple things where she could have just said, okay. You know, I'm gonna try and be controlling, but we did this last year. This year's American style.
Erika:Mhmm. It would have saved a whole different like, a whole expectation, a whole misunderstandings if she would have just said, yeah. Last year, we did American. Now you make up your mind if you wanted to do Japanese or not. Less than a simple.
Edgar:Yeah. It was like, I really had to have done in that situation.
Erika:Yeah. I don't understand. I mean, she's also making it difficult. I feel they're both dazzle. I don't know.
Erika:It's hard. I feel like it's they're, like, they both need to, like, either she forgives and forgives them or she just lets go. Mhmm. Because it's not gonna work out with back and forth like that.
Edgar:Yeah. I think they're probably not, like, really compatible with each other.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, like you said, no matter how long you've been with somebody and you have certain situations where he cheats on you a certain way, I mean, you have every right to leave that person because you deserve better.
Edgar:What's the right
Erika:They're both the assholes.
Edgar:I say, OP's boyfriend's moody asshole. OP is, not an asshole, but kind of a prick for, like, making it that's just a whole situation.
Erika:I don't
Edgar:know. A lot more difficult.
Erika:Yeah. And they're like, they just need to work it out. The next story is Emma the asshole for doing nothing on Valentine's Day. My wife is my lobster. We met seventeen years ago and married two years later.
Erika:We have two incredible feral teenage daughters. They're romantic in our family. Our ten year anniversary, I surprised her by flying her bridesmaids back to our town and held a vow renewal in the same place we got married with the same photographer, officiant, flowers, etcetera. In the beginning, I would make flip book stories and wire art for her from the stuff at work. After we earned more, I would start sending her away and visit her girlfriends and jewelry, etcetera.
Erika:I even surprised her with a Christmas trip to visit her best friend in England where she got to see her great grandmother for the first time in thirty years on her hundredth birthday weeks before she passed away. I'm hopeless romantic raising two daughters and worshiping them. It's always been important to me to show them how a partner deserves to be treated, to never expect or settle for less than they're worth. My wife, not so much. She loves me.
Erika:I know. She doesn't do romance. She's never done anything on for Valentine's Day or anniversaries and even forgot my birthday once. I never it never got to me. My daughter suggested I take a break from things and just do nothing for Valentine's Day since mom always said we don't need to be told when and how to love our partner.
Erika:So I got a signed and personalized book from her favorite author in a handcrafted letter bookmark with her initials. Well, she found out I had no real plans and kinda blew out a bit. Told me it was crappy to not do anything. I still got flowers, the book, the bookmark, and her favorite restaurant. But for her to be mad is usually outright filled.
Erika:Am I the asshole here?
Edgar:Yeah. No. He's not the asshole at all in this situation. Like, I feel like she really likes, like, all this attention and all this, like, loving stuff. Like, that's why they've been together for so long.
Edgar:But I think, eventually, over time, she kind of, like, took reciprocate? She doesn't need to reciprocate. More like she just took a van like, took care for granted. So when it was finally not here, she's, like, pissed off.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just I felt like in a relationship, it should be give and take. It shouldn't just be you expect your husband, your boyfriend, or whatever to do it, to do everything all the time. It should be, you know
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Let's take turns. Or I do it this year, do it next year. Or if let's do it together or let's you do something and we do it, you know, something else that you wanna do. Like, I don't know. It's just something that you give and take.
Erika:I feel like that's the best way so people don't feel or anyone doesn't feel left out or feel a certain way. So there is an edit. My wife is incredibly attentive and giving, just not overly romantic and is terrible at gift giving. Doesn't mean she doesn't try. She's also not spoiled.
Erika:Sorry if I gave that impression. She's always super grateful, and I love thinking about how to make her happy and doing little things for her. That's not spoiling her. It's consideration and to and for her happiness. Our 14 year old suggested a quiet night when I was struggling for ideas, at least for ideas as the last three months have been insanely stressful with work.
Erika:My wife's best friend rescheduled it, and so I'm soliciting marital advice from our 14 year old. This is also the first time she's asked if I had made plans and told her no. First time in seventeen years. So it's probably came across as shocking to her, and I'm worried of possibly giving her the wrong impression about not caring or that hers is possibly just an expectation response.
Edgar:I think he's just been doing too much for too long and, like,
Erika:I mean, he likes to do it though.
Edgar:Yeah. He likes to do it, but, it's like, everyone can see it. Like, her her daughters can see it. The friends can see it that he's just doing too much. And he's, like, he did his edit, like, just to make it seem, like, in a better light when we all got, like, enough information to know, like, how she reacts to the situation.
Edgar:If she was actually grateful, he would have added that in the in the main story.
Erika:Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I mean, also, like, thinking of it this way. I'm trying to be devil's advocate here. Like, let's say you're constant with me. You're a very constant person.
Erika:So let's say you do this for me every day, and then or you do this every once in a while, and then you just stop doing it altogether. Mhmm. I would feel like something's wrong, or I feel like something's changed in our relationship or you don't care anymore.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Like, you know, because you stopped doing what I you know, something for me that I love that you would do constantly. So, like, I feel like that's also to keep in consideration that maybe she feels a certain way because you stopped out of nowhere. Like, she wants maybe she feels weird because something's changed. She feels something's changed in the relationship.
Edgar:But I don't think it's appropriate to be, like, angry about it. Like, maybe we just talk them through and just say, hey. Are you, like, tired? Like, what's it's like, just just to probe to see what's, like, really going on instead of just jumping into the conclusions of, oh, he doesn't love me anymore or just getting mad for whatever reason.
Erika:Yeah. But they get It's
Edgar:not a healthy way to, like Yeah. To take in the situation.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, I I obviously, I think communication is key and for every issue in the relationship, but that always doesn't happen. I mean, sometimes you just get upset. Maybe later on, she'll talk to him be like, you know, I felt this way, or I got mad because of this way. Because I feel this certain way.
Erika:But I think he'd right now is just the beginning stages. Like she just got mad.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:I mean, I think Ideally,
Edgar:yeah, everyone acts the best way possible. But, yeah.
Erika:I mean, they've been together seventeen years.
Edgar:At least seventeen years. And then they already have, like, teenage daughters, so they were pretty quick with everything.
Erika:I don't I think she's a little bit of the asshole, but
Edgar:Definitely, OP is not the asshole. And the wife is the asshole in this situation.
Erika:Yeah. And the top comment is not the asshole. If she's not going all out in return, then she has nothing to be mad for. Extra points for you for being super, super considerate present. It's so wonderful to have thought out goods like that.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, not many men do that for their wives, girlfriends, or whatever. A lot of men just don't have it in them. They have no romantic bone in there.
Edgar:I think he has too much romantic bone in his body because, like, his entire life revolves around pleasing his wife, which is why, like, this is, like, a big stress point for him.
Erika:There's nothing wrong with that. If he wants to see her happy, then so be it. And and I think it's okay. If he wants to be romantic, let him be romantic. Yeah.
Edgar:I mean, I've if there comes a point where it, like, it's kinda bad for you. Like, it's good to, like, shower your, like, girlfriend or wife, with a lot of attention and love, but, like, to the point where, like, that's the only thing that you have going for you in your life. Like, I don't know the rest of his his life story, but this is the only thing that's, like, that people know about him in life. It's a little bit prophetic.
Erika:Well, no. There's nothing wrong with that. I think you're wrong with that. I think he'd he'd also said that he had a stressful, week or three month, with the work or something. He he was stressed.
Erika:So I think also that kinda dampered on his, you know, usual,
Edgar:you
Erika:know, very giving detail thing for Valentine's, which it which happens. I think she should have been a little bit more understanding. Mhmm. But that doesn't mean that he should just stop doing anything for her just because, like, she reacted like this. I think it's just something they should talk it out.
Erika:And it's okay for him to be that way because he wants to see his wife happy, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Edgar:But, also, like, one one other thing to to say He's
Erika:just the look I'm giving him right now. My my glare. What what did he
Edgar:Even though he didn't, like, all out this Valentine's Day, he still gave her flowers, books Yeah.
Erika:It's so really sweet.
Edgar:But, even that wasn't, like, enough for her. And, like, after doing all that, he still feels bad. So it just if it speaks to, like, an unhealthy sort of, like, dynamic or, like, unhealthy amount of commitment to, like,
Erika:going about that. Expectations.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:Which I get. But, like, I mean, if you didn't want to do that for your girlfriend or your wife, then you shouldn't have started that way. I don't know. I feel like it should be a balance. Like I said, she also should at least try or be romantic or be thoughtful here and there.
Erika:I feel like he's doing too much. Like I told you, it's give and take
Edgar:at
Erika:least for me.
Edgar:It kinda depends on the person too because, like, it seems like well, because, like, seventeen years is a long time to know somebody. So I think, like, him saying, oh, she's not really the gaming type, like, even in the beginning of the relationship. Let's just people have their own style of showing affection and stuff like that, or like showing appreciation.
Erika:Yeah. Like a lot of people have different signs of, showing love. I mean, people like the gift giving or acts of acts of care or whatever, you know, that could be your gift way of showing love. I mean, it's it just depends on your love language.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:And, I mean, he I think his love language is just, you know, being thoughtful and giving her gifts. There's nothing wrong with that.
Edgar:Mm-mm. Alright. So final verdict on this story?
Erika:I would say he's not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. He's not the asshole.
Erika:And she is.
Edgar:She's not fully an asshole. I think she's just, like, caught off guard. So, I mean, asshole ish move, but I think it's something that they can come back from.
Erika:Oh, yeah. I don't think it's, like, break up worthy or anything like that or, divorce worthy at all. It's just, you know, a little bit more communication. That's it.
Edgar:So, the next story is titled, anybody asshole for making plans on Valentine's so I don't babysit my granddaughter, My 36 female daughter Leah, seventeen female, is a teen mom. My daughter got pregnant at 14, and it was very shocking news. But we found out very early on, and she got to abort it. A few months later, and she got pregnant again, and I couldn't handle the situation very well at the time. But having my sister, her aunt, talk to her about what she was planning to do, she decided to keep the baby, which I'll admit I wasn't very happy to hear, and I told her she'll have to be responsible about the consequences.
Edgar:Of course, as a mother, I couldn't have her work and distract herself from school. I didn't want her to miss out on her childhood, so I had to work evening night shifts to care for my granddaughter while Leah was in school. I've realized that Leah has been taking advantage of my situation and making me cancel plans so I can babysit for her. So I overheard her making plans for Valentine's two weeks ahead on the phone with someone saying, my mom would do it. She has no life anyways.
Edgar:Ridiculous. We can stop the story, but I'll keep going. But and laughing afterwards. Being a single mom and having to work multiple jobs was hard enough, but since she gave birth to her daughter, I haven't gone out to any parties. I've canceled many weekend gatherings so that my daughter can be able to hang out with her friends.
Edgar:And if I did go, I'd always have my granddaughter with me, and for her to laugh about my situation like that angered me. That same day, I was asked by a guy I've been seeing to accompany him on Valentine's, and I was hesitant, but I didn't want to miss the chance. He's a real nice guy. I haven't been on a date for almost six years, and it wouldn't hurt to give my daughter a taste of motherhood when she least expected it. I told my daughter that I got asked out for Valentine's and she was happy at first, but then asked if I was going to take her daughter with me.
Edgar:And I said, obviously not, and she will have to cancel plans for a day. I didn't expect her reaction to be so extreme. She cried, screamed, and told me I was being selfish and that I was letting her miss out on her date just because I thought a guy was interested in me.
Erika:Audacity.
Edgar:The argument didn't end very well. I stood my ground and went to that date, and she had to cancel plans. But she's still really mad about it and has been ignoring me. I love my daughter, and I wouldn't want her to miss anything, but I wanted her to learn a lesson and be responsible. My sister agrees with me, but my friend told me I should have done it on a normal day and not on Valentine's.
Edgar:Does my approach make me the asshole? Absolutely. I know. Yeah. She has, like, no obligation to, like, take care of this child at any, like, any day.
Edgar:Like, she's like like, right now, she's basically her daughter's child's actual mother making all the, like, real sacrifices that, her daughter isn't making. So, yeah, I think it's, like, ridiculous, like, how unappreciative the daughter is, and the daughter should be lucky for, like, having, like, a a mother as, like, the OP.
Erika:Yeah. I I just oh my god. This really frustrates me because she already had a pregnancy scare, and she was able to abort it. And then to have a baby again, it's crazy to me.
Edgar:Where was the like, where's the baby daddy in this situation? And
Erika:Clearly not there. It's At 14, like, they're babies, growing I mean, trying to parent babies.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So I think it's just ridiculous. I think the mom should have put her foot down a long time ago. I think she was trying to take care of the baby and her, which is understandable. I mean, she's only 17, but, like, she never allowed her to take responsibility for her child, which caused this type of behavior on her part. Yeah.
Erika:I think it's just one of those things where some you give people your hand and then they grab your elbow. Like, have you ever heard that saying?
Edgar:No. But I I get I get what it means.
Erika:It's more like a Hispanic, but I just translate it in English. But, yeah, it's just like one of those things where you really have to make your child be responsible and go with the consequences. Because if you don't, they're gonna continue relying on you, and it's gonna be like, yeah. Why not? Just like her.
Edgar:Yeah. She was like, yeah. My my mom doesn't have a life and like, this is all that. I was like really crappy to say.
Erika:It's disrespectful. Mhmm. You're literally throw throwing shit or, like, either disrespecting her for saying something like that while she's been with you and helping you Mhmm. For so long.
Edgar:I know. Pulling, like, the the the huge majority of the weight of, like, raising a child. And, like, I I want I just wanna bet that, like, the guy that the daughter was trying to make plans with for Valentine's Day probably isn't the baby daddy.
Erika:Of course not. Definitely not. There's no way.
Edgar:It's very unfortunate.
Erika:Yeah. And then the fact that the mom had to, like, put out everything and pause just for her daughter, for her daughter's mistake, she has to also get consequences because she's a good mother. And then she stopped dating for six years. Like, her her last she said, I haven't been on a date for almost six years.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And, sure, it was like, she did it on purpose, but I thought that was a good lesson learned for her daughter. Yeah. Because it's not her responsibility.
Edgar:Do you think her approach would be better if she didn't do it on Valentine's Day?
Erika:No. I think I like it better. Yeah.
Edgar:I mean, it doesn't matter what day, but, like, Valentine's Day. Yeah.
Erika:I don't care. I like it better.
Edgar:Ruin something.
Erika:Yeah. So she could learn.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:The top comment is not the asshole, but you will be covering too much for your daughter under the guise of letting her have a childhood. You shouldn't give all your social life so that she doesn't have to give up anything. She's supposed to give up in my opinion, she's supposed to give up stuff because she has to know the consequences of her choices. So this is where she's kind of in the wrong. Back to the comment covering for her financially so she doesn't have to work and can build a good life for amazing parenting being in a life being a life and babysitter, you will only harm her and the child.
Erika:She will never learn responsibility. Mhmm. And that's a % true.
Edgar:I think OP, like, she cares too much for her daughter to the point, like, she's not letting her, like, face consequences, not being free, not being able to, like, grow into her own person. Exactly. I agree. Like, you know, I don't think it's, like, an OP being, like, an asshole doing that, though. I think it's just her, like, not understanding that there to be changes to the relationship.
Erika:To be too nurturing, and she's not allowing her to receive the consequences of her actions, unfortunately.
Edgar:Yeah. Like, three years with the baby and, like, the daughter doesn't know anything about being a mother.
Erika:No. Because she's taking care of the baby herself, and she's so she wants her to continue being a teenager while she takes care of the baby. So who's the parent here? I don't think the daughter is her parent of the baby because she's taking on responsibility of the whole raising her and the child.
Edgar:I know. It's, like, annoying. Like, the daughter should have, like as soon as she had the, like, the actual baby, like, she should know that that's the end of her childhood.
Erika:Yeah. But, you know, sometimes, you know, maybe I don't know. I think it's just hard. It's a hard dynamic to really when you start a certain way and and when your and your child gets used to you doing something, it's hard for you to stop just because she's so reliant on you.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:So continue with the comment says, that last fact can be attested by the fact that she got pregnant twice in a month while being 14 or by the fact that she had a crazy tantrum when told she couldn't do as she pleased. She was not taught responsibility nor given consequences.
Edgar:Basically, like, this child is like her own sister.
Erika:Yeah. And that's sad because you should be the mother if you decide to do that. I think the mom kinda she tried to protect her to the point where she never took responsibility. I don't think she it makes her the asshole, but I think she needs to rethink her parenting a little bit.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. OP. Yeah. Redink your parenting.
Edgar:Be less nurturing. Like, let let your daughter fail a little bit for a little while so she can, like, grow into a at least be a mom.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, Griffin, we're not parents, and I think it's hard to say that because we don't have no children.
Edgar:My dog's counting children and cats.
Erika:You're so funny. It's not the same. I feel like because we're not parents, we're just saying that, and I think it's, like, really hard. Like, I'm my mom always tells me, you're not a mother, so you don't know what it is. Like, which I get it.
Edgar:But I can tell the difference, like, oh, yeah. Obviously, the kids can't shouldn't be playing in the streets. Like, stuff like that. Like, common tense things. Like, you don't need to be, like, a parent to, like, know what's right or wrong.
Erika:I don't know. And then also at 14, like, where was the mom too? Like, that she got pregnant twice. Like, what is going on? Like, did she give her so much rain, like, to just go out and about?
Edgar:Obviously, too much rain. Yeah.
Erika:Yeah. And then to be pregnant at 14, like, that's crazy to me. Mhmm. Oh my god. Like, imagine.
Edgar:I don't want to.
Erika:I would like if my child came to me and said that she was pregnant at 14, and I would not let her go out at all.
Edgar:Never again.
Erika:He well He caged
Edgar:the window.
Erika:You're so funny. No.
Edgar:I To the dungeon.
Erika:You're so funny. No. I would obviously have her, an not house arrest, but, like, time time in. Nothing else. No going out with friends.
Erika:No nothing. Because she needs to take responsibility for her actions. She think that she she never learned about the abortion. She probably just thought, oh, yeah. I just drink this pill and it's over.
Erika:Like, it doesn't matter. I feel like if her mom would have given her more consequences for doing that, she wouldn't have got pregnant again.
Edgar:Mhmm. So
Erika:I think she's lacking in that a lot.
Edgar:Yeah. Alright. So final verdict?
Erika:She's not the asshole. She just needs better parenting.
Edgar:Exactly. Yeah.
Erika:Next story is, am I the asshole for sending my girlfriend too many Valentine's Day flowers and making her sister's husband look bad? That's like all the next title. Okay. To explain where I'm coming from here, I need to establish two things. One, I have high paying job that often requires I drop everything in travel without notice.
Erika:It is infuriating at times, but I get paid well, so I've learned to live with it. Two. My girlfriend loves flowers more than anything. I get it. Most girls love flowers, but they are her favorite thing in the world.
Erika:She literally makes me stop the car when we're driving just so she can take pictures of pretty flowers. Early in our relationship, I had to miss something important without notice. To make up for it, I sent her three dozen roses. She loved it and probably as a joke told me I had to set the bar and I had a better always send her three dozen roses if I was going to let her down. We've been together three years since then, and I have always sent her three dozen roses whenever we would be apart.
Erika:It's a tradition, and we both love it. Onto the dilemma. A girlfriend got bad news about a family member's health and headed back to her hometown a couple weeks ago. I couldn't join. Her two sisters came back as well as their husbands.
Erika:Valentine's Day came around, and although it wasn't my fault we weren't together, I ordered a gift of three dozen roses, candy, and a stuffed animal. Day off, I got an alert from FedEx of a delayed shipment and panic. It broke my heart to think that she wouldn't get any flowers that day. So I called around to a local florist and found one who will deliver them for a fee. I sent another gift pack of three dozen roses.
Erika:Turns out FedEx managed to deliver the original package. Girlfriend ended up with six dozen roses, two cards, two box of chocolates, and a teddy bear. She joked that I had now raised the bar, and she expected no less than 6,000 roses anytime we were apart. All jokes aside. I could tell she really appreciated the trouble I went through.
Erika:The next day, I heard from her sister's husband. They were furious with me, saying I made them look awful. Turns out one bought his wife a leftover bouquet of a half dead tulips, and the other didn't get his wife anything at all. I guess they both were going to use the commotion as an excuse. My girlfriend ended up sharing her roses with both of her sisters so they all could feel special, but it was clear they were all from me.
Erika:My instinct was to take a victory lap, but my girlfriend mom and dad called and explained that they thought I should apologize. While they appreciated me always making romantic gestures, I can afford to do so while their other daughter's husbands can't. They see where things are going and assume we'll be all family soon. It would be a good idea for me to make peace with the other two. That's true in the sense that I didn't really mean to do anything to their detriment, but I also never expected them to be such shitty partners that they thought it would be okay to not even bring their wife's flowers on Valentine's Day.
Erika:But maybe I'm wrong for holding them to the standard that I've set my own relationship. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:No. I don't think if anyone's to be the asshole, it would probably be, like, the two husband in laws.
Erika:Exactly.
Edgar:Because I feel like I mean, 72 flowers is a lot. I know they're, like, joking and stuff like that, but, also, it's like I think
Erika:Not a lot of people can afford.
Edgar:Not you know? Not a lot of people can afford that. And, like, it's also, like, not even like, I feel like it's a comically grand gesture. I think
Erika:It's not like he did it
Edgar:on purpose. Yeah. Also, he didn't like, this is not something he does all the time. And, like, he's not trying to, like, make anyone look bad. He's just like, oh, this is just what we do when we're apart, and, like, you can't be here during an important time.
Erika:Yes. Exactly. I think the parents are assholes for saying that he should apologize. For what? For loving your daughter and being, you know, loving to her?
Edgar:I think if anything, the
Erika:Like, what the fuck?
Edgar:Husband in law should be the ones apologizing for, like, making the situation, like, uncomfortable.
Erika:Yes. Sorry for him showing how asshole you are and not caring about your wives. Mhmm. Sorry. Not sorry.
Edgar:But also, I mean, the wives, like, for I guess, the sister like, OP's wife's sister shouldn't feel, like, they need to I don't know. I I don't know why they would get angry in the first place. Like, what kind of conversation would are you having?
Erika:About competition, dude. The conversation. Oh, well, because hello. They were there with her. Mhmm.
Erika:So they saw that she got that much roses and her husband didn't one of them didn't give him anything.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:And the other one got dead tulips.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:What does that say about your husband? That they could care less about plating anything for you on Valentine's Day.
Edgar:Yeah. But, I mean, it's she also shows that, like, they probably have different dynamics in, like, the relationship. Because, like, in OP's relationship, they have, like since he makes a lot more and he has, like, more time to spend That's
Erika:not the point.
Edgar:Relationship, he can, like, put do all these things. And plus, like, some people don't like flowers as much as, like, Opie's wife does.
Erika:No. But that's not the point, babe. Mhmm. It's not about making money about how how much you could give to your wife or expensive gifts. It's about thoughtfulness.
Erika:He they could have given him giving her a a card with a with something cute written on it. Yeah. Something handmade. Something that maybe they found, you know, in a in a date of the when they first met. Something thoughtful.
Erika:It doesn't have to be expensive, but they did shit. They did really shitty job of doing that. So that's what happened.
Edgar:And they do have their own definitions of thoughtfulness because Valentine's Day is just a single day of the year, and they have, like, other things they could do to show it, like, the dopfulness. And otherwise, they wouldn't be together in the first place. Like, the tulip, even though it was dead, it's still, like, the dot that counts.
Erika:I would be pissed off because it's it's not just, like, it's not about like I told you, it's not about what they give you. It's about the tough one of how much thought they put on the gift.
Edgar:Yeah. I mean, the tulip is the tulip is a dot.
Erika:A shitty thought because you go and grab them a dead tulip. Like, come on. You couldn't find
Edgar:them a store is that's what he had at the time.
Erika:So that he went to one store and he couldn't find tulips and he just got him a dead one? He couldn't go to a different one? Like, there's it's just there's you could show how much somebody puts effort in and what they give you.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So you're telling me that he couldn't he couldn't find, like, the man, the guy here went and said, oh, I ordered the the roses and they were gonna be late. So he went and called ahead to some other vendors where they are and had them roses sent to her. Why? Because he thought, okay. She's not gonna receive them, so I'm gonna do something else.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Why couldn't he do I mean, sure, everybody's different, but it shows you how much effort he puts in in it, in that whole situation, the whole thoughtfulness. That's the point. It's not about, oh, it's it's the effort that counts. No. It means that that's how much you care.
Erika:Just to be like, okay. I went to the store or whatever. They're all dead, but I'm just gonna give them to her anyways.
Edgar:Mhmm. And that's better than nothing.
Erika:No. Because then that's it's oh my god. You don't get me. I wish Dave was here so she could explain it because she would get me. Like, it's just not all about it's because you just put some effort, but you didn't put all the effort you could give.
Erika:Do you get what I'm saying? Mhmm.
Edgar:But they have they probably put effort in other things.
Erika:Well, we don't know that. We can't assume.
Edgar:Mhmm. But we're instead assuming the bad, then they are they're giving no effort at all.
Erika:Well, the wife did one of the wives didn't get shit.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So now that there's no thoughtfulness in that. That's literally not trying. There was no thoughtfulness in their gift. Like, I'm telling you right now. He
Edgar:But also because they, of course, they show their their own thoughtfulness in different ways and seeing 72 flowers. 72 flowers is a lot. So if you see that like, basically, it's like, grass is greener on the other side kind of situation. Like Yeah. If you were like, if we have, like, our our little house and stuff, like, you'd be happy because, like, oh, this house that we have is, like, it's ours and everything.
Edgar:But if someone bought bought the land next to our house and then built, like, a house 10 times bigger, you're gonna look at it and be like, our house is no longer, like, good anymore. But it just spoils what you have. It's by seeing what someone else has and that you see that there is extravagantly more. So you compare not by what your own capabilities are and, like, what your own situation is, but you're comparing by what is, like, something else that, like, is separate and not controllable by you.
Erika:But that's you assuming that they cared about the roses, and it's not necessarily that. I think that you're just focusing really on the just of how much money he spent, and that's not the issue here. It's about the supplement.
Edgar:But still 72 flowers is a lot?
Erika:Yes. But you that that's not okay. At least I'm speaking personally, it's not about the 72 flowers. It's about the softness in the gift, and their softness was shit. So that's why
Edgar:why they diminished the tulips, though.
Erika:He got him he got him dead tulips.
Edgar:Now there is.
Erika:It's crazy. I love how you're trying to defend assholes here.
Edgar:I'm just saying.
Erika:No. No. No. No. No.
Edgar:The brothers are assholes to be mad.
Erika:You're making me mad.
Edgar:But they are but the story is is a preference on the fact that this is it's all revolving around the amount of flowers that this No.
Erika:Situation gave. It is not. It doesn't necessarily has to be that way. Like, I keep saying, it's about the toughness and the gift. Mhmm.
Erika:Even if they didn't get 72 flowers, but they got a thoughtful gift, they would be fine. But one of them didn't get anything and the other one got dead tulips.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:That's how much thoughtfulness went into those gifts. That's what I'm giving. That's what my point is. It's not about the money. It's not about how much you spend.
Erika:It's not about anything. It's about the thoughtfulness of the gift. Okay. So people were just laughing hard at this.
Edgar:I know. I think it's like they're like this story.
Erika:It is. This is a hard not to asshole. Sorry your wife's sisters have shitty husbands, not your fault. But yeah now that this is an official reddit lore we expect you to send no less than 6,000 roses anytime you two are apart and you know she put like a laughing emoji but yeah it's like I think it's such a cute little relationship they have in that they care that he cares enough to be thoughtful to, you know, want her to have something because he's not there for her or he can't be there for her. I think that's really important.
Erika:I think that's why they have a good relationship as from what, you know, the post says.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:However, sometimes I think you get complacent in relationships. And you think because you're married or because you're with that person for so long, you're not you don't have to try anymore. And you let your girl yourself go in your relationship go. And I think it's just important to continue to, you know, trying and not become roommates. I think that's a big important thing.
Erika:Where couples I feel like it just becomes, you know, a routine and it doesn't become knowing the person more or grown with the person. Yeah. It just becomes, oh, hey. You live with me. That's it.
Edgar:Mhmm. And then
Erika:I think it's dangerous to try not to go into that loop because getting out of that loop is kinda hard. And I think everybody should continue dating everybody. I mean, even no matter how long you are with that person, ten, fifteen years, twenty years, it's important to continue dating that person because then what are you gonna do? You're just gonna be living with a roommate, and there's nowhere to that's not how you should have a relationship or a happy relationship at least.
Edgar:I think you can be happy, like, just being, like, in a standard, like, you don't have to have, like, an exciting life or, like, exciting No.
Erika:I'm just saying to continue. No. I think you should continue dating your your partner, though. Because if you don't continue, like, learning new new things with them or, you know, this is like I said, it doesn't have to cost money.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Like, I feel like a lot of people emphasize or expect for money, at least shallow people may may think about money, but I don't think it's necessary. It could just be a walk in the park. It could be a little, like, hike here, or it could just go walking and getting a small coffee. It doesn't have to be a five star restaurant, a whole resort. It could just be tiny things.
Erika:It that's that's a date. You know?
Edgar:Yeah. But I don't yeah. So Ophi is definitely not, like, not the asshole in this situation. But, yeah, the brother is, like, they're acting irrationally and, like, their parents are especially, like, the
Erika:parents Oh, yeah. Forget about the parents. The parents are also assholes.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:What do you mean you need to apologize? I think that
Edgar:the family should be apologizing to the upcoming, like, the the new the future brother-in-law coming, which is LP, like, for, like, being mad at the situation in the first place because there's, like, very little to be mad at.
Erika:No. Yeah. He has there's no fault of somebody here
Edgar:Not at all.
Erika:At all. It was ridiculous. Yeah.
Edgar:So that's, like, how fun of it I try. Yeah. Open at the asshole.
Erika:A %.
Edgar:Oh, girlfriend and her sister is not the asshole, but everyone else involved in the story.
Erika:The parents and the two husbands are assholes.
Edgar:Mhmm. At least give your your your wife a single rose.
Erika:I think
Edgar:that could be your standard for for now, and you you could make it up.
Erika:Yeah. Or, like, a a card with something cute on it. I mean, like I said, it doesn't have to cost money.
Edgar:Yeah. So next story, Am I the asshole for not getting my wife anything for Valentine's Day? I am in trouble with this week, and I'm not sure that I deserve to be. I, 35 female, did not get anything from my wife, thirty six female, for Valentine's Day this year. Hear me out.
Edgar:I told her in August that since I was going to be unemployed and going to law school full time the next three years, that I wouldn't be getting her or anyone else presents for the next three years. I mentioned it to her multiple times, and she was then kind of mad at me for not getting her anything for Christmas despite this. But she got over it rather quickly. Monday morning, I texted her happy Valentine's Day. She leaves for work before I get up, and I did not get her any presents because I don't have any money.
Edgar:She got me a bag of jelly beans for Valentine's Day. I didn't need anything, but I thanked her anyway. She was very, very mad I didn't get her a gift for Valentine's Day. She said I could have just gotten her a small gift or even something homemade. And I told her it didn't even cross my mind as I didn't have the money for gifts, but I would do that in the future.
Edgar:I then made her a homemade card, but she said that it doesn't count because she had to ask. She also knows I do not like Valentine's Day as it reminds me of when my school was shot up in 02/2008. That's crazy. And I also have had a cold all week and haven't been feeling well. Still, she was mad at me on Tuesday and reiterated the same points until now Thursday, and she says she wants to forgive me, but it still upsets her and feels that me not getting her something means I don't care.
Edgar:And I said, I don't feel like I should have to apologize. As I told her, I wouldn't have the money to get anyone gifts months ago. You mighty asshole. Yes. What do you think?
Edgar:I don't think she is. I think she has, like, more important things. No. She's is this she?
Erika:That's a he.
Edgar:Is this she?
Erika:Is this she? Yeah. Oh, okay.
Edgar:I don't know how I get yeah. I don't think she's an asshole in this situation. I think, she has, like, much more important things to focus on in, like, in her life right now. Like, she has to, like, get her schooling and her work and all of that, like, situated. And that's, like, more important than, like, a a single day of showing, like, Valentine's.
Edgar:You know? Like, she's gonna have, like, more years and more days afterwards to, to show her If
Erika:only you can see the look, I'm getting it right now.
Edgar:I mean, that's just like what how I see it. I don't think the the girlfriend of the OP is an asshole, though, for being upset because, like, if Snatcher would be upset.
Erika:I would say, once again, it's not about expensive gifts. It's not about huge gestures. It's just about thoughtfulness. Mhmm. He could have given a card on Valentine's Day, a homemade card on Valentine's Day.
Erika:It would have been great. It would have been fine. She would have said, thank you. Moved on. That's it.
Erika:But he did nothing. He literally gave her nothing.
Edgar:Yeah. She didn't do anything. But, I mean, it seems like next year, she'll at least do that despite, like, her having other things to do.
Erika:Yeah. But that's that's the thing. You know, you need to make time. It's about being thoughtful even though you don't have time. Sure.
Erika:I mean, you're busy, then make time once a little bit, like ten minutes a day. Okay. I'm gonna do a little touch up in this card, or I'm gonna do this, like, half an hour. And then do, you know, spread it out if you're busy like that. It's just it's just so many ways you he could have done something for her.
Erika:So many things, so much small gestures, but he did nothing.
Edgar:I think you underestimate, like, how much time law school is. It's, like, basically all your time. So it's I gotta understand the OP's point of view.
Erika:I guess. But like I said, if somebody is important for your life, then you make time. No matter how hectic, no matter how busy, no matter how whatever it is, you make time. Why? Because you care about that person.
Erika:So the top comment is you're the asshole. Thoughtfulness doesn't have to cost them money.
Edgar:I mean, I hope he knows that.
Erika:Did he?
Edgar:Yeah. Does he she says that in the story.
Erika:Yeah. But he didn't give her anything until she asked for something.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So it's like he didn't think of giving her anything. He didn't wanna give her anything. He didn't think about her and her happiness. So I just I I just think like it like I said a million times before, it's not about the expensive gifts. It's not about anything.
Erika:It's about your thoughtfulness. And then he didn't even have to make a go home. He could've just give her like a little like you said, a rose, a little note, a sticky note, a little picture. It takes five minutes, one minute to do something. I love you little sticky note.
Erika:That's it. Happy Valentine's Day. But he did nothing. So it's just one of those things where you're like, sure. He did warn her about those three years that he's gonna be busy.
Erika:He's not gonna buy anything. Okay. Mhmm. But he could have given her five minutes of her time. That's all I'm saying.
Edgar:To fight over it?
Erika:I would say he is the asshole. And then everybody thought he was the asshole too.
Edgar:Yeah. I think OP is not the asshole.
Erika:Okay. So this is the final story. Am I the asshole for sending my daughter-in-law a Valentine's gift basket? I'm not great with the Internet, but my hairdresser told me about this sub, so please bear with me. I, 60 female, always send to the people I love Valentine's as in my daughters, nieces, sisters, friends, kids, non binary partners.
Erika:It's a day about love, so why not send and let somebody you care about something nice and let them know you're thinking about them. My only son got engaged and moved closer to home last September to a girl called Alice. At first, she seemed not to like my three daughters and myself for some reason even though we haven't done anything to her. And no. I've not been a just no matter in law when my son moved near home.
Erika:We were all too busy with my husband dying than his funeral to do anything for to her. Since January, I've started to get out of my depression for years we were married. Me and my daughter-in-law started having a relationship. She told me she didn't like us because we were basic and didn't know what that meant. So I just tried to have an interest in what she liked.
Erika:That's so messed up.
Edgar:I know. Yeah.
Erika:She's a bitch. Recently, I sent out my Valentine's self care packages, which I carefully pack to each person. Likes, I go as far as to send my gender fluid niece to both male and female baskets and my oldest daughter's partner, nothing generated, I mean, nothing gendered as they are both non binary than some of my friends' anti Valentine's Day themed gifts. I've not had a bad review yet. That was until I sent my daughter in laws out.
Erika:And within the day, I had my son screaming down the phone calling me a weirdo and how inappropriate it was for being that made my daughter-in-law uncomfortable to the point she doesn't want to be around me.
Edgar:What?
Erika:Exactly. What? I tried to explain he knows I do this with everyone including him and his sisters, but he said I should have asked than being a complete weirdo. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:What was even in the basket?
Erika:So she didn't make a edit. And she said different kind of mask, face, foot, eye, hair, hands, and lips, chocolates, her favorite, alcohol, rainbow colored fake roses, bath bombs, key ring with her initials, a card, a pen with her name on it.
Edgar:Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. So, like, she's just being awful for everyone that, like, she does in her life. Not necessarily
Erika:she loves or, you know.
Edgar:I feel like she doesn't necessarily care for this this relative, but, like, she does it because this is, like, her tradition. Daughter-in-law. Yeah. This is her tradition. This is how she shows that she, like, her care and her her nurturingness, like, in Valentine's Day.
Erika:She just got over her the death of her well, she's she just I don't think she got over it, but she finally stopped being depressed of for her husband's death.
Edgar:Yeah. And she
Erika:wanted to be some do something nice for her daughter-in-law. And then she goes and says she's basic.
Edgar:Yeah. You're basic and you're weird. You're weird.
Erika:Yes. Like, what? This is so ridiculous. Why is it her son with that this woman? And I would like to add that I wanna apologize to the growling.
Erika:It's Selena and Lila always causing trouble.
Edgar:It's all clear than fighting each other.
Erika:Well, yeah. Well, they're play fighting. But yes.
Edgar:Not Celine.
Erika:Mind you, Celine is tiny compared to Celine, to Bella and Lila.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:But she still tries to, you know, show her toughness.
Edgar:Her dominance.
Erika:So the top comment says not the asshole, not even close. With the comment she made about her not liking you because in her opinion basic, she indicates she has problems. Don't allow her to project her issues on you. You be you. If your daughter-in-law doesn't like basic people then she could go a pound of sand and I feel bad because the the poor mother-in-law doesn't even know what basic means and then the comment after that says is basic bad?
Erika:Like I feel so bad and then people said in No. It's a term used for women who like popular things. The woman who likes Starbucks, getting her nails done, watching reality TV could be called basic. I could be basic because I like cold brew coffee floating in the pool and watching serial killer documents. Honestly, it's an idiotic term that some women use to disparage other women who are just living their lives and enjoying the things they actually like.
Erika:I I don't get it. Like, how can she be so rude? Like
Edgar:I think we how old, again, was the daughter-in-law?
Erika:It doesn't really tell you.
Edgar:She's gotta be pretty young to, like, to be immature.
Erika:I mean, not always. Some people just never mature.
Edgar:But issue.
Erika:The she's 60. And obviously, I think at 60, a lot of people don't know what basic is, which is understandable. But, yeah, the daughter-in-law is the asshole and the son is the asshole for saying that her mom is a weirdo.
Edgar:I know. Yeah.
Erika:That's that's so disrespectful. Like, just because you're soon to be wife or whatever or she is your wife, whatever. You should not be calling your mom that, especially with what she gifted her. There was nothing wrong Mhmm. With masks, for the face, for eye, hair, hand lips, chocolates, and her favorite alcohol.
Erika:I
Edgar:I know. That's pretty nice. I would be happy. I forgot that.
Erika:That's really sweet and thoughtful of her. How is she afraid to be next to her or she's creeped out by her? Like, it makes no sense.
Edgar:She's ridiculous.
Erika:It's
Edgar:actually just an excuse just to not be with her.
Erika:Maybe. I don't know. I just find that ridiculous, and she's the biggest asshole ever, especially after the poor woman stopped being depressed and wanted to do something nice to the people she, you know, at least wants to get to know or loves.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. So final verdict, OP, not the asshole.
Erika:100%.
Edgar:Yeah. But this chick, yes.
Erika:Of what? Yeah. She's really big asshole. Mhmm. Okay.
Erika:So that's all the stories we have today. Thank you for tuning in this week. Check out our website wwwyappings.com and join our mail list for updates. If you love our podcast and want to support us, subscribe and share to your friends and family. We will love it and appreciate it so much.
Erika:Thank you. Bye.
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