Episode 13
· 49:42
Yappings!
Erika:Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar:and Edgar.
Erika:And we are the Yappings Schnauzers. We entertain you with Yapp worthy stories we find around the web. This week will be a continuation of last week's theme, which is disaster weddings. Mhmm. The first title is Am I The Asshole for Refusing to Make a Cookie Table for My Son's Wedding.
Erika:My son is marrying Wendy, and the wedding is in the summer. She is not close to her own mother for multiple reasons and is pushing hard to have me fill in the gap. I'm not comfortable with it at all at all, especially with how hard she is pushing. She has multiple times overstep boundaries, such as inviting herself along, discussing very personal issues, very touchy, etcetera. Due to these issues, we are not close, and my own daughter are not a huge fan of her.
Erika:She asked me this week if we would make cookie table for the wedding. It is something the bride's own mother would do with other female relatives. This is the first time hearing about these traditions, and I did some research. I would have to make over a thousand cookies from scratch to feed the wedding guests. I asked my daughters if they wanted to do it, and it was a strong no.
Erika:I informed her that I cannot do it, and it was too much work, and I don't have the time. She told me, okay, and I thought that was it. My son called me and told me I am a huge jerk, that Wendy has been crying about it, and I should step up. I am still refusing to do it. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:That seems like, overblown response for not having a bunch of cookies baked for your wedding. Like, you can just go to any bakery or you can go to Walmart and get, like, 20 cookies for, like, $5 or something like that.
Erika:Well, according to her research so she did she had a little update here that says Okay. The most, common questions. Did the daughter-in-law tell me the number? She said 0000 to 200. What about family helping?
Erika:She isn't close to her family, so her side is out. My parents are in a home. I am an only child. My husband has a sister, and I doubt she wants to help. My daughters don't wish to, so it would be basically me.
Erika:So, I mean so you think she's asshole, though?
Edgar:Like, the OP for not making the cookies?
Erika:Yeah. I
Edgar:wouldn't say so. Like, I have never heard of this tradition before.
Erika:Well, supposedly, it is a thing, but I still I think she just, like, being I don't think she likes a daughter-in-law.
Edgar:Yeah. I mean, overall, I don't think, like, anyone's a fan of the daughter-in-law.
Erika:Yeah. I can
Edgar:see why.
Erika:Because I mean, apparently, she's too touchy. She shares too much, and she likes to she has no boundaries.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And, like, I feel like she looks at everything she's trying to do in a bad way. Like, what if she's just trying to get close to them, trying to get, you know, trying to get to know them, And they're just like, why is she talking to us? Or why is she saying that stuff? Why is she oversharing? Yeah.
Erika:I feel like when you don't like someone, you see everything they do as annoying or as like, oh, why can't she do this and criticize everything she does?
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So I think if she should like, if sure. She don't like her, but at least try to, like, help her out. Maybe not make it, like, from scratch. Just buy some cookies like you mentioned. Mhmm.
Erika:Like, I think she's just being, like, making this a problem when it doesn't have to be a problem. Yeah.
Edgar:I guess that's, like, another way to look at it. Like, how is, the bride or, like, yeah, the daughter-in-law gonna tell what cookies come from at the end of the day?
Erika:Yeah. Like, who cares? Or be like, you know, it was allowed for me. I made some, but then I bought some.
Edgar:I wouldn't even say that. I would just say, it's all made by me.
Erika:Whatever. You know? She could've just done that. Why she has to make it a difficult thing, like Mhmm. Criticizing her and annoying annoyed by her saying that she doesn't wanna she can't do it at all.
Erika:Like, she doesn't have the time to.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:And if she didn't have the time for it, then fine. Just buy all the cookies.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Like, I don't know. I just feel like she really doesn't like her daughter-in-law, and she's just making this a huge issue. Because I feel like if she did like her, she will at least try and be like, alright. You know, I don't feel comfortable with it, but I'll try.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And she could just buy the cookies if she at the end of the day, she couldn't make them.
Edgar:Yeah. Like compromising. Let's say, listen to like, I'll make you a hundred or 200 cookies, but not a thousand.
Erika:Yeah. And then I could invite the rest or whatever. I don't know. Just try to, like, help her out. I mean, she already knows that she her mom is not, you know, not there for her.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:And she's
Erika:gonna be part of the family, and she's not only doing it for her, but for her son as well.
Edgar:Mhmm. And her son seems to be upset as well.
Erika:Yeah. But, like, I don't think she wants to do that. I think she's just not she's making an issue of nothing.
Edgar:I mean, yeah. I mean, it's not the hugest issue, but I feel like yeah. I mean, even going, like, a little bit little bit in a way of, like, helping however she could could have, like, gone around this issue with the with not only a son, but, like, the daughter-in-law.
Erika:Yeah. I mean What
Edgar:did other people say?
Erika:They actually, she was voted not the asshole.
Edgar:Really? Oh, so you're gonna be rude to me.
Erika:I don't agree with that. No. I just think she doesn't like the sis the daughter-in-law, and the sister in laws don't like her either. Mhmm. And she just doesn't wanna take the time to, like, help her out.
Erika:Yeah. So I just I think that she's a asshole. She just buy cookies. That's it. Simple as that.
Erika:Yeah. I I know a lot of people probably well, obviously, a lot of people don't agree with me, but I don't care. I really think that she she's being the asshole.
Edgar:Okay. So, final verdict on this story? No.
Erika:I don't think she's an asshole.
Edgar:And I
Erika:I mean, she is asshole. Okay.
Edgar:Yeah. I was off to you, but I'm pretty sure I think she is not the asshole. But I
Erika:think she is. Okay.
Edgar:So the next story is titled, Am I the Asshole for Starting My Wedding on Time? So, yeah, being so, chat, is it being an asshole to be punctual?
Erika:You should you are that punctual person
Edgar:No.
Erika:No. At all, and it drives me crazy.
Edgar:I I worked my own time. But yeah. So going into the story, my parents are late for everything. They were late for everything while I grew up, and they refused to care about being late. They do not care how disrespectful it is to everyone else.
Edgar:My older siblings have adjusted to this by planting all kinds of slack into the schedules. Our parents showed up late to both of their weddings, but that had been accounted for, so they were able to participate in the weddings as planned. The same goes for family get togethers that are hosted by anyone other than my parents. My siblings planned for them to be late. I went the other way.
Edgar:When my parents were late from my high school graduation, I told them that I would never wait for them for any event that I had power over, and I have held to that. When my wife and I hosted our first Thanksgiving after we bought our home, we started eating on time. My parents showed up late after visiting with another family and were surprised to see us all laying around and in comas food comas. My wife and I got married last weekend in the ceremony when we need one perfectly. Other than my mother not being involved in the candle lightning, my older sister was my backup.
Edgar:My parents showed up three fourth of the way through the ceremony and ended up sitting at the back of the church. They kept everything in during the receiving line and the foremost, but they let me have it afterwards and before the reception. They were very disappointed that they did not get to participate in the ceremony and that they missed out on so much of it. I was ready for this. I had one of my friends waiting, and he took the pictures when they were entering the church and sitting down at the back.
Edgar:He sent me the pictures as a text and as an email. I asked my friends to show me their invitations. They did not have it with them, so I pulled out the one I had ready for this. I showed them the time on the invitation. I asked them what time did they show up, and they said that they were only five minutes late and that I was being an asshole for not waiting.
Edgar:I put up my text messages and my email. Both provided a time stamp of when they showed up, which was thirty five minutes late. They said that if I knew they were going to be late, I should have planned for it like my siblings. I told them I had not put up with their bullshit since I graduated from high school, and why did they think I would start now, almost fifteen years later? I told them that my siblings could cuddle them all they wanted, but to enjoy their time with me, they had better learn to be punctual.
Edgar:They said I was disrespectful, and if I did not like their behavior, that this was entirely my problem. I agreed and said I would be handling all my time with them the exact same way. So a mighty asshole.
Erika:Absolutely not. I think she was a little petty, but I think Yeah. I hope you guys
Edgar:are definitely very petty in the past she did. Like, she had a friend, like, scope out for her parents. She had him she had the friend both text and emailed the photo, which is a little bit
Erika:more of a photo. Yeah.
Edgar:And time stamps it.
Erika:And she had a extra wedding invitation to see what time the wedding was. I know.
Edgar:I mean, if I was the parents, I just I would be pissed off as well, but not because, like, I was copying late, but because it just seems, like, very prissy and very petty, yeah, on the entire setup.
Erika:I don't know. I think she's it's her response was resentment.
Edgar:Yeah. She's, like, very resentful, very angry at
Erika:I think they must have done something to her, like, obviously, be late. She mentioned the graduation. I'm assuming that they were late to her graduation too, and they probably missed the ceremony. I feel like she's just sick of them and being late, and she's tired of people accommodating them.
Edgar:I feel like if you you know, you have one day that it's gonna be a wedding for a friend or family or whatever, you're, like, basically
Erika:Your own daughter. That's ridiculous.
Edgar:Entire day and have have have everything you're gonna do that day be surrounded for that event.
Erika:I don't know. I feel
Edgar:Like, how why would they leave? Like, was there any reason they gave her being, like, more than three fourths away late before, the wedding ceremony? Like, it just seems like, what could they have possibly done? Like, all their friends and all their family were probably busy, like, getting to their wedding on time and preparing. So what they when were they doing?
Erika:I don't get it. Like, I mean, are they late to their doctor's appointments too? Because a certain amount of time you're late, you're you're not taking your appointment. You have to reschedule, and you have to probably pay a fee.
Edgar:This becomes a problem for being charged and stuff. I find it, like, funny that, like, both the parents are always late. So it's, like, they're kinda like a package deal. I don't know, like, who started the lateness, whether it was a mother or father. But yeah.
Erika:No. It's annoying because they literally said we were just five minutes late. Like, thirty five minutes thirty five minutes late. Come on, people. I don't know.
Erika:I just I'm get frustrated when people are late because I think everybody's time is valuable. And if you so they tell you a certain time and you're there a certain time and they're not ready, literally, they're discarding your time and wasting your time. Mhmm. And I think that's very disrespectful. And I think at least for Hispanic culture, a lot of people are late.
Erika:Oh my goodness. But I hate it. I am I hate it. I really don't like that because, you know, you serve a certain amount of time. You you make your day and schedule your things around it so you could pay on time.
Erika:There's just no excuse.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Especially if you say or you know ahead of time, weeks ahead.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
Erika:I'm assuming they told them, what, months ahead, a year ahead. I don't know. But, like, you know, you should be there on time, especially for your daughter's wedding.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And it's annoying, though, because I feel like the all the all his sister all their sisters always be like, yeah. It's okay. You know, we made time for them to come late. Like, no.
Edgar:And I
Erika:feel like they encouraged that behavior, which is, like, impossible for them to literally, like, stop doing that because people accommodate them.
Edgar:Yeah. And because the other siblings, like, coddle their parents' lateness, now that this like, OP is, like, making the stand and saying, no. It's not okay to be late. Like, she's, like, the one the odd one out and, like, the one that's gonna get, like, the fall for everything. You know?
Edgar:If I win and out of the wheels, she's, like, not gonna be, like, the parents' favorite at all anymore.
Erika:I just don't think that they're gonna ever get this moment back unless she gets divorced and get married again. Like, they literally missed out on something that happens once.
Edgar:Maybe twice.
Erika:Three times. But, you know, it's just one of those things where, you know, they really they really messed up in this one. And the top comment is hard not the asshole. If they want to be late for a play or doctor's appointment or whatever, that's on them. If they were going to be on time for even one thing, you think it was their child's wedding.
Erika:This is on them. I agree. Because it's just frustrating that people just their parents especially your parent, like, you want them to be part of your wedding. Like, I would be really upset if my parents came late. I would be like, literally, I would look at them differently.
Erika:And I think there's their relationship was already strained. I feel like this also made their relationship a lot more difficult to really patch up.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. So final verdict?
Erika:She's not the asshole.
Edgar:I wouldn't say she's the asshole, but I think, like, her execution is pettiness, verging on assholelessness. But she did it for a reason, a good reason at least.
Erika:I think this one, it's okay to be the asshole. Yeah. I don't I don't think she did anything wrong.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And then the second story I mean, third story is I'm at the asshole for not going to my old friend's weddings after she said what she said to me. A few months ago, a friend of mine told me she was getting married. It wasn't meant to be a regular wedding, but more of a elopement kind of thing. We were supposed to be her groom, me as the maid of honor, and a best man, plus a few close members, about 10 people in total, and it was planned for I say wedding like it in in the title because there would be no invites. No save the date, no ceremony, no walk down the aisle, just courthouse and dinner.
Erika:That comes from the bride herself, not guessing anything. A week ago, I got the news that I had gotten a permanent job. I don't know how to explain it because this is a very typical thing from the country. Spain where every so often, the government will hire professionals to work either in the administration or in public institutions, education, high school. This is usually a great opportunity because these are positions are for life, well, until you retire.
Erika:And they can never fire you. And, obviously, it depends on the conduct too.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:In order to apply for these positions, you have to take an exam. And then depending on, oh, your years of service to the institution and the score you get on the exam, you could get one of those jobs. Long story short, I took the exam last year, and last week, I got told that I got one of the jobs. But I still will be moving city cities for that. When I told my friends this, the only thing she said was, when are you leaving?
Erika:Can you still come to my wedding? No congratulations. No. I'm happy for you. Nothing.
Erika:I must add, two weeks ago, I talked to her to know where we were having dinner for her wedding, and she said she didn't have anything planned yet, let alone booked. Had she told me she had everything booked and that she really needed my reservation, I would have understood her answer. But in that context, I've decided that if the only thing she cares about is her and her wedding and she can't even be happy for me, I'm not going to the wedding at all. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:No. She ain't the asshole for that.
Erika:Like, I understand getting a job is a huge deal. And but, like, she knows that her friend is getting married.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:Like, why why don't you think that would be the first thing she would ask? I don't know. Like, if you were like, for example, if my friend I was getting married, she she told me about the job. Sure. I will say congratulations, but then I'm like, would you be able to come to the wedding, though?
Edgar:I
Erika:don't know. I don't think she's an asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. I wanna say so too. And, like, also, her getting a job and stuff, like, I feel like that's, like, a valid like, one of the few valid reasons to miss on a wedding and, like, you know, because it's something for the livelihood and all of that. And I don't know about Spain, but I imagine the interview times for that are, like, a little bit more stringent. So, like, this is, like they have, like, a deadline or they have something that'll make it so, like, the friend can't move it around freely.
Erika:She has to move, she said.
Edgar:So like, scheduling the actual interviews?
Erika:Well, she did it a year ago.
Edgar:Oh, okay.
Erika:And she got accepted.
Edgar:Oh, okay.
Erika:So she was really happy about it, obviously, because it's a good opportunity for her. Mhmm. But instead of the friend saying congratulations, she just said, why will you be able to come to the wedding? I don't I mean, like, right now, she's also making an important, you know, step for her life. And since you are, you know, one of her friends, I would suspect that you would also wanna tell her, hey.
Erika:I will make it or I won't. Mhmm. I I don't know.
Edgar:I feel like yeah. I mean, I don't think I would be mad if any of my friends ever missed my wedding, but I feel like there's some people who are, like, very offensive about that.
Erika:A guy.
Edgar:Oh, yeah. That's true too. But I don't know. I feel like it's something very petty to be upset over.
Erika:You wanna know the verdict?
Edgar:What?
Erika:They said that she's actually the asshole.
Edgar:Alright. Very.
Erika:We're like, so I'm the opposite. You're actually this word disagreement. Mhmm. I don't know I feel like she it was important for her to be there and the fact that she didn't say right off the bat congratulations like she shouldn't hold it against her. I bet if she was to go to the wedding, she would have said congratulations, and I'm sorry, you know, for not, you know, saying that back to you or whatever.
Erika:I think just right now, everything is, like, really just about her wedding right now.
Edgar:Well, not for everybody. Like, not for Opie. Opie has, like, better things to do in her life.
Erika:Well, I mean, obviously, because she's not marrying anybody, so she doesn't know the feeling
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Of, like, oh, I mean, sure. It's not, like, a huge thing. I feel like all this post is about her justifying not going to the wedding. The top comment was deleted. However, so signing some papers and a dinner for ten, that wedding planning and what stress still seems like a pretty solid question.
Erika:Most people find embarking on a lifelong commitment very stressful.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So, like, I I get where the friend that's getting married is coming from. Like, I think everything she's thinking about is just, like, everything for the, you know, the dinner. Sure. It's not a huge thing, and it's not, like, caters and everything like that. But Mhmm.
Edgar:I feel like I mean, I understand LP's point of view because, like, from how the fun was, like, talking about the wedding, they're saying, oh, it's gonna be courthouse wedding. I don't even have, like, the the dining place afterwards, like, all figured out yet. I would think that she wasn't taking the wedding seriously or, like, maybe that she didn't feel like the wedding was, like, wouldn't would make her so angry.
Erika:I mean, it's still important though regardless if it's, like, a huge wedding or not. She's still making a huge decision. And if she invited her friend, it's because she wants her to be there, especially if it's such a, like, small wedding or whatever.
Edgar:But, so final verdict on this?
Erika:How about you? You go first.
Edgar:Yeah. Let's just say OP wasn't the asshole for missing the wedding.
Erika:I think she he she is.
Edgar:Okay. And then now for the next story. And Mariaso for apparently making the wedding all about me by being difficult and not taking off work to go dress shopping. My son told me to come over. I'm on my phone.
Edgar:Background, I have to travel for my job. Monday through Friday, I've been getting on a plane every Monday and getting back on Friday due to a project needing to be supervised. My future daughter-in-law works four days a week, Wednesday to Saturday, ten hour shifts. She wants to met up to get a dress for the wedding. These people can't spell over it.
Erika:But, yeah, again fed up?
Edgar:Yeah. I mean, I've been trying to fix the the spelling errors, but, yeah, she wants to be there when they get a dress. Originally, I was just going to wear the same dress I wear for all the weddings, a long blue dress, but she wanted me to wear something else since I will match her bridesmaids. She looks at our schedule. Sunday would be the best day to do this.
Edgar:We are both off. She told me no since that is her rest day. She asked for Monday. I told her I can't, and I have to work. Then I suggested Friday or Saturday after work.
Edgar:Those got shot down. She wants me to take off work. I then suggested she send me examples of what she wants, and I'll shop by myself and buy something like the examples also shot down. After much back and forth, I told her the blue dress is what I'm going to wear. This started an argument, and she called me a jerk.
Edgar:My son is mad, making the wedding about me and not taking off work. I don't think I'm even being unreasonable, but he told me to post there. So you know what the asshole?
Erika:No. Absolutely not.
Edgar:I think yeah. I mean, she gave she yeah. She tried. She gave, like, a bunch of, like, these small things that, like or that were convenient for both of them, OP and the daughter-in-law. Like, the Sunday thing, like, if if this is like a well, this is a very, like, important, like, day for the daughter in law's life.
Edgar:So, like, I think taking one rest day off to do, like, something for a wedding is, like, reasonable enough to do. But instead, she's like, no. I I don't wanna do that. I need a rest. But can you take a day off from work?
Erika:No. It's not only that. It's just that she tried, like, three or four times to accommodate her and say, okay. I'm working. I'm in a project.
Erika:I can't take it off. Let's do this, this, this, and she denied all of them.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:That's ridiculous. People's lives don't stop because it's your wedding.
Edgar:Exactly.
Erika:So I think she is not the asshole at all. And the the fact that the son is being it's like, you you you posted on Reddit.
Edgar:I know. That's how he's like he he thinks that he was gonna be on the side.
Erika:Yeah. And it turns out and then the verdict is not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah.
Erika:Everyone So shove that up here. Yeah.
Edgar:That son feels pretty foolish right now.
Erika:Yes. Because, obviously, everybody thinks she's the wife is well, the daughter-in-law is asshole. Mhmm. The top comment is not the asshole. You've offered reasonable suggestions to make this work, and she shut down each of them.
Erika:That's not your fault. Why is she so invested in being there with you? Surely, you can pick out a dress in a fit in a style that would be appropriate and a and suitable. So, yeah, I I don't get that. And then OPI should respond into this.
Erika:I have no idea why she's so invested in this. I also don't get why she doesn't want me to wear my blue dress. The hotter I am, the same color as the bridesmaids. Like, it's a dress. The wedding is in five months.
Erika:Yeah. So I definitely agree. I mean, it's she has five months. Like
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Why is she being so difficult? I'm sure in those five months, she has time to accommodate her schedule or both of them to compromise. I I don't understand what's so difficult about it. What do you think, Bo?
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. I agree.
Erika:Not the asshole. Right?
Edgar:Yeah. I know. There was, like, a final update for the story, and, he's she says, okay. My son has this link. Anyways, he told me that I can wear the blue dress, and, it won't be an issue.
Edgar:No response from future daughter-in-law.
Erika:Because she knows she got burned.
Edgar:Yeah. She got ratioed back for her her career.
Erika:She got what?
Edgar:Ratioed.
Erika:Oh. She
Edgar:got ratioed.
Erika:Something to know. So it's like Yeah.
Edgar:Keep keep hearing things. But, yeah, final verdict then.
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Definitely the asshole. And the son is definitely the asshole for we're trying to, like, have her post this and, like, think she should be humiliated online, but no.
Erika:He was the one and the daughter-in-law was the humiliated one.
Edgar:Yeah. I'm right back at them. Okay. The next story is titled, Am I the asshole for telling my stepdaughter she can have her dead dad pay for the wedding? So as an edit, she is 27 right now, which I don't know what the context of that is, but so I may have gone too far.
Edgar:My now wife divorced her ex when her three kids were young. He was an addict. She met me a few years later, and we dated for two years before she introduced me to her kids. Two kids really hit it off and Kylie did not like me. Just passive aggressive stuff, but it did become much worse when her dad passed away.
Edgar:She did not take it well, which resulted in a lot of outbursts even though I wasn't living with them at this time. She went into therapy, but overall, it didn't seem like it helped. She frightened me she frightens to run away if I marry their mom. So I stayed away, but continued to date their mom. Bro.
Edgar:Over time, the two other kids started to stay at my place in order to get away from the drama. It was a rough time for them, and we bonded even more. When Kelly was 18, the two of us decided to stop pulling our lives on hold and getting married, and Kelly hated this. The other kids were happy, though. Every interaction I have had with her has been unpleasant, and I don't see her as one of my own kids.
Edgar:I eventually adopted her siblings when they were 16 and 17 since they asked me. And during the time, she destroyed a lot of her sibling stuff for betraying their dad. Now I rarely see her, and I prefer it that way, actually. The two kids have an on and off, relationship. I paid for my two kids' weddings.
Edgar:I got a call from her asking me to pay for her wedding since I paid for the other two. I told her no. This started an argument about how it's unfair. I had enough and told her to have her dad pay for the wedding. She hung up after some lovely names.
Edgar:I may have gone too far, which makes me a jerk, but am I the asshole? So I think the yeah. She's an asshole for saying that because, like, it's pretty uncalled before. Oh, he oh, yeah. Yeah.
Edgar:He think it's a she, but not a he. But, yeah, I think it's, like, pretty uncalled for to say that, especially to, like, a a child, basically.
Erika:She's not a child.
Edgar:How old is she?
Erika:She's 27.
Edgar:Why she act like that?
Erika:She didn't grow up.
Edgar:Yeah. I guess so. I guess after the death of her dad, she kinda, like, never grew out of it. But, yeah, I think yeah. So I don't think I think it's a little bit asshole to say that.
Edgar:Like, it's pretty messed up, but, I mean, she's not really obligated to pay for
Erika:He is not.
Edgar:The daughter's wedding. But he, yeah, he's not
Erika:went a little bit too far for saying that. Yeah.
Edgar:But he's not obligated and, like, this is, like, a daughter that, like, doesn't even, like, like him.
Erika:She's not even adopted by him. Mhmm. I don't know. I felt like he tried to be accommodating to her and tried to be a parent to her, but they refused. I mean, her two siblings agreed on being adopted by him because
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:I mean, he he can't be doing that bad of a job. They decided to be adopted by him. I think it's just her problem. I think she was waiting for her her, real dad to come back and stay with his mom.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. I think yeah. It's probably just, like, the the, like, OP and the the daughter. She's just, like, never really jelled.
Erika:Yeah. I don't think they ever connected, which is sad because, I mean, it looks like he really tried. They even they said that they stopped dating or, you know, paused their relationship because, you know, it was so difficult for her.
Edgar:Yeah. To process everything. Right. That that shows, like, on OP's part that, like, he actually cares for, like, the children, you know. Now a lot of stuff parents, like, kind of care for their kids.
Erika:They definitely don't.
Edgar:Some of them, like, sees them as, like, a like a nuisance or, like, something, like, extra baggage in the relationship. But, like, have, like, a a parent or a separate parent that does all this for you.
Erika:You keep that parent with you because that means they care.
Edgar:Yeah. Exactly. Well, like, at least treat them with, like, a little bit more respect. Like, even if you, like, you can't hang out with them because, like, you just don't have the personalities that match, that you should at least be appreciative. I don't know.
Erika:I feel like this could also have, the mother didn't put her foot down when she was a child. I felt like they accommodated her so much and because they feel bad for her and her dad or whatever
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:That they give her a lot of legroom and that this made her think that this this behavior is okay. And since she was a child and since they didn't stop this, you know, she kept going.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:Yeah. She's 27 years old, and she's acting like a child still.
Edgar:I know. Yeah.
Erika:I don't
Edgar:think she was little old.
Erika:I know. You thought she was little. No. 27 years old.
Edgar:I think she was 19, but, yeah, 27.
Erika:20 seven. I'm like, hello.
Edgar:That's crazy.
Erika:So, yeah, I don't think and then destroying her sibling stuff because they wanted to get adopted by this poor man
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:That wanted to be a dad to them, that's insane. I think, sure, maybe at that age, she was young, but it's just shows you how her personality is.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:It's clearly not his fault. I think he kinda push she pushed him so far that he said this.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:For years of years of resentment and rejection because
Edgar:she may think about it. Yeah. I mean, the daughter should have been surprised that she was gonna get, like, punched. Like, basically, like, punched her this, like, comment after all of what she did. I don't think she should have expected her wedding to be paid off after, like, that that's done with the the sibling stuff.
Erika:Yeah. I don't understand the like, the entitlement is crazy to me Mhmm. Thinking, oh, because you're married to my mom, now you have to pay for my wedding. Like
Edgar:Hey. You already know she's gonna get, like, the most expensive wedding too.
Erika:Yeah. I don't I don't I don't get the entitlement.
Edgar:Like unlimited drinks, all night bar, sushi bar, unlimited food.
Erika:That's what you want.
Edgar:I want a taco truck, but
Erika:You know. Yes.
Edgar:Talk with Chuck to the wedding.
Erika:No. Talk with Fort Worth. No. But, yes, I I think she's just I I think he went a little bit too far, but she deserved it.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:She honestly deserved it. And then the top comment is, yes. It was a stupid, hurtful, and immature thing to say, but I get it. I understand that this was the oldest girl and probably closest to her father. And, of course, she probably resented the divorce, but that's something you should grow out of.
Erika:Once her father died, you think it might have opened up her heart a little, but, apparently, that was not to be. And, you know, so be it. It's her life. It's her choice. But it takes a lot of balls to then come skipping back and waiting for you to pay for her wedding.
Erika:I don't blame you for refusing, but I'm curious as to what your wife thinks. A big not the asshole on not paying the wedding. And then OP responded, yeah. It was petty. Thinking about it, it was a resent resentment building up of how many times I just took her anger.
Erika:It was like finally standing up to a bully. After so many years of taking it, for sure felt great to give it back no matter how petty it was. So, yeah, definitely, that was crazy to me. Mhmm. I think it was just a buildup.
Erika:I think he just exploded, and he had to, like, just let it out. Yeah. And I get it, but, I mean, as an adult, I think more adult, I I would say. He should've known a little better to say such harsh words. However, I think I get it, honestly.
Erika:I think he said what he said. She deserves it.
Edgar:So final verdict?
Erika:Not the asshole. And everybody voted not the asshole either.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he was, like, the asshole for you. What he said wasn't okay, but, yeah, you can we can all Understand make their mistakes.
Erika:Yeah. Alright. So next, is Emma the asshole for taking back a family heirloom for my daughter-in-law before the wedding? My family has two heirlooms that we give to a bride or groom when they marry. For the man, it's a set of cufflinks, and for the woman, it's a bracelet.
Erika:My oldest son and my oldest sister are married, and their spouses wore the bracelet or cufflinks at their wedding. This tradition is essentially for our family's way of saying we are accepting you to the family. When my future daughter-in-law got engaged, I gave her the bracelet and explained that it's a family heirloom, expressing how many meaningful it would be if she were it at the wedding. I mentioned that she could wear it during the reception if she preferred not to wear it in the ceremony. It's a white jade bracelet, and I shared its significance with her.
Erika:Now in the wedding only a few months away, there's a problem. My daughter has been getting to know my future daughter-in-law, and she recently came to me saying that my future daughter-in-law thinks the bracelet is ugly and has been complaining about it. She even showed me texts where my future daughter-in-law said some hurtful things about me, calling me controlling ass, forgiving her the bracelet. This was hurt, and it feels like a complete rejection, especially since she knows why it's important. When I asked my son, she said she didn't he didn't know anything about her feelings on this.
Erika:Since she clearly doesn't want to want or respect the bracelet, I asked for it back. That's when things got messy. She made a big deal about how I was excluding her from the family by taking it back. Now she's pissed and calling me a jerk. My son also thinks I'm a jerk for taking it back even after I show him what she said.
Erika:People are divided over this saying that by taking it back, it implies I don't see her as a family or trust her with a heirloom. What do you think?
Edgar:Yeah. I don't think she's the asshole for, like, taking it back. Like, I think it does imply that, like, she doesn't accept the daughter. Like, symbolically, she doesn't accept the the daughter-in-law into the wedding, but, also, like, it's, like, reasonable because was, like, not liking the the, the bracelet and was, like, kinda being an ass over it.
Erika:Yeah. I I think it was just very disrespectful. Yeah. Like, if your mom was to give me something like this, I would be very grateful. Like, even if I maybe didn't agree with the design or whatever, I would say it's still beautiful.
Erika:Why? Because you have to be respectful, and she's trying to give you something that's passed down. Yeah. And either or.
Edgar:If anything, that means a lot to, like Yeah. To everybody. Yeah.
Erika:So why are why she being an asshole? Mhmm. So, yeah, I think she was very disrespectful, and she didn't care about the meaning behind the bracelet.
Edgar:Yeah. You'd think that, like, the the sun would would consider that, like, a kind of red flag. You know?
Erika:Yeah. I don't wanna wanna marry somebody like that. Like, if I were you, I'd be like, that's kinda a red flag a %. Yeah.
Edgar:I mean, I just wanna be, like, annoyed. I'd be like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just, like, inappropriate to say. And I feel like yeah.
Edgar:Yeah. I I would I would feel hurt if I heard that.
Erika:I don't know. I feel like this could have been avoided if the sister-in-law didn't say anything.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:Because the mom didn't know. Like, I think she said to the sister-in-law in confidence that she didn't like it and she didn't wanna wear it. But, I mean, I think it's just disrespectful. Yeah. You shouldn't be saying that because, you know, this is literally what it means.
Erika:It means that you're part of welcoming to the family. And, like, why are you just, like, taking that for granted? It's crazy to me.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:So the top comment is, if she has simply come to you and said, hey. I appreciate the sentiment so much, but this isn't really my style, and I don't want to wear it at the wedding. How would you have reacted? And OP stated, that would have been fine. My own mother didn't wear it.
Erika:But had it on the family table, I probably would have worn it or asked if my son wanted to wear it.
Edgar:So yeah. I mean, like, it looks like there's a like, there's probably, like, a really ugly looking bracelet. Like, if even, like, the the grandmother and, like, past ancestors didn't like it. But, like, they have, like, something, like, they are they still respected it. You know?
Edgar:They didn't, like, oh, I don't want this at all. They didn't say, like
Erika:Yeah. Just I think if she would've talked to her, like, offer and be like, hey. You know, this is I appreciate you welcoming into your family, but I it's just not really the style of the wedding and the dress.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah.
Erika:Oh, keep it there or keep it in my for my future, you know, for my daughters or whatever.
Edgar:Yeah. Keep it. Just keep it somewhere that, like, it's respectful, respectful in the place, but, like, not ruining, like, whatever, wedding aesthetic she was going for.
Erika:I think this could have been avoided if the, bride to be was just honest.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:And, like, respectful, honestly. Mhmm.
Edgar:Not It does take, like, a level of, like like, respect and then, like, some comfortability with the numb with OP, like, from daughter-in-law to to a mother in law. Like, to they have to, like, have that level of comfort with each other to, like, until you have that conversation. But I guess they don't at that point.
Erika:They probably don't. Yeah. That's why they, you know, she decided to say it. Mhmm.
Edgar:And
Erika:she said I I think she honestly, I felt like she said in confidence with the sister-in-law.
Edgar:Basically.
Erika:But obviously, the sister-in-law was like, I'm a talk behind your back and said, why you said to my mother about the bracelet?
Edgar:Yes. The sis yeah. The other sister, one of them. Yeah. Definitely asshole material.
Edgar:I think she, like, it's perfectly sabotage the entire wedding. Is she gonna keep her her mouth shut?
Erika:Yeah. I mean, honestly, if I was to say that I mean, obviously, if Brianna would, like because who else? Is it only Brianna? My other. She's the only sister-in-law.
Erika:Right?
Edgar:Yeah. I think so. Yeah.
Erika:Yeah. Yeah. Because yeah. Like, if she was told to tell me something like that, I would have kept it shut. I would have said my mom to anything, like, hello.
Erika:Like, why are you trying to ruin their relationship? Mhmm. Like, you know, like, I feel like the sister-in-law is also an asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. So
Erika:The bird the and the verdict for the, Reddit was actually not the asshole.
Edgar:So final verdict?
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. Definitely. I don't I like even, like, the the daughter-in-law, I wouldn't really consider her an asshole as well. I just think she didn't go about, like, this entire situation the best way. If anything, the yeah.
Edgar:The sister was the asshole for, like, basically instigating this, like, whole fight in the wedding. The last story is, am I the asshole for refusing to wear the wedding dress my sister-in-law gave to me as a wedding gift? I, female twenty seven, met my fiance, Jacob, male thirty one, when I was 21. We've been together for six years and engaged for almost a year out of those. My mother's wedding dress has been passed down for generations, and I remember being a little girl dreaming of walking down the aisle in it.
Edgar:We have recently been wedding planning, and we were invited to a dinner hosted by my fiance's family, and that was on Sunday. When we arrived, we greeted everyone and sat at the table to eat. Sister-in-law stood up and tapped her spoon against her glass and said that she had to make a toast. She then said she would be right back before going into another room and returning with large plastic bags. Everyone seemed to be excited, but I just felt confused.
Edgar:I awkwardly smiled as I asked sister-in-law what was inside the bag. She opened it up to reveal her wedding dress from her wedding, which was two years ago. Everyone began clapping as sister-in-law announced that this was her official wedding gift to us, and she wanted for me to wear her dress at the wedding. I tried a small, but I guess I didn't do a good job of hiding my disappointment, and everyone began asking me what was wrong. I tried to explain how I wanted to wear my mother's dress and that it was nothing personal, but that I refused to wear my sister in law's dress.
Edgar:My sister-in-law began crying and as my in laws began tearing into me and comforting her. I just burst into tears and ran outside. My fiance didn't even come after me. And after crying my eyes out on the steps for what felt like hours, he finally came outside and yelled at me to get into the car. No comfort for her.
Edgar:No mercy. I was so confused, but I got into the car just to hear him berate me on how I had made such a big scene and embarrassed him in front of his family. He sounded so mad, and he even said he couldn't believe he chose to marry such a bitchy cunt, his exact words. My fiance also said our sister-in-law was just trying to be nice and that her dress was more modern compared to my mother's dress, which looked like an old rag, also his exact words. I tried to tell him how much my mother's wedding dress meant to me because I promised her that I would wear it.
Edgar:I felt like my fiance's family planned this and put me on the spot thinking I wouldn't stand up for myself and just agreed to wear sister in law's dress. I don't think I did anything wrong, but a part of me thinks I should have just gone along with it and then told sister-in-law in private that I wouldn't be wearing the dress. Anybody asshole? Definitely no.
Erika:Throw them all away. Throw them all away. Don't even get married, girl. This is literally red flag a hun like, 1000.
Edgar:The entire family, like, they just basically ambushed her to wear this, like, dress that she didn't want. I I I I am just surprised that they were, like, so, like, angry at the the response.
Erika:I think it was just an it it was so unfair for her. Mhmm. They just decided to just go be like, hey. We want you to wear this because that's what our family wants to do. And since you're gonna be part of the family, you have no choice.
Edgar:I know.
Erika:That's ridiculous. Like, nobody decided to, you know, ask her if she, you know, already has something and or she's already planning on wearing something. It's crazy to me. And the the fact okay. Fine.
Erika:Let's say she offered, and she, you know, said, no. You know, I can't wear it because I'm already wearing my my mother's dress. Okay. That should have been alright. There's no reason for for them to basically look at her or make her feel bad for making her own decisions in her wedding.
Edgar:Yeah. I think yeah. Exactly. Like, they should they should have been, like, a private conversation first between, the sister-in-law and OP. And they should just talk about, hey.
Edgar:What are you wearing for your your wedding dress or for the wedding and all that stuff? And they should have, like they should have agreed upon this beforehand before I try to make this into a big deal. Because, like, realistically, the sister-in-law should have expected a yes or no at the at this event. I wish you a view of that. Oh, I want you to take my wedding gift.
Edgar:Like like My
Erika:wedding dress.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:I don't know. I felt like it was all planned, and it was just really staged, so she wouldn't be able to say no.
Edgar:Yeah. And I mean, like, what reason was was it to, like, offer up this dress in the first place? Like, I feel like a lot of people offered a wedding dress as a gift to someone else. Yeah. It's just like I feel like it's pretty strange.
Erika:I think she just didn't wanna buy them anything. And she just wanted to give them the old, old wedding dress.
Edgar:Was it like a nice wedding? Well No. You did say it was modern. More more modern than
Erika:But it doesn't matter. It's about the sentiment and what the bride wants to do. Mhmm. Like, just because she doesn't wear your dress doesn't mean that she doesn't wanna be part of your family or Yeah. I understand.
Erika:Everybody should literally look down on her or be mad at her for not winning the dress. Uh-huh. I mean, she has something in mind, and it was her mom's wedding dress. People should respect that.
Edgar:Exactly. I I
Erika:think it's ridiculous for them to be like, no. You have to wear it because she offered it. And then the biggest problem here is honestly the, fiance showed his true color saying that she was a, terrible names and basically calling her, like, such a yeah. It was he he was he was just A
Edgar:lot of colorful names?
Erika:Yeah. Very colorful names, and it was just ridiculous. I think she should really think about if she really wants to be part of this family
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Because this is how all her life is gonna be if she decides to be with them.
Edgar:Yeah. Like yeah. In this family, she has, like, no one in this like, on her side.
Erika:No. Yeah. And that's the scary part. And on top of that, to not have your, you know, your fiancee not on your side either, like, what are you gonna do? Who are you gonna go to?
Erika:You're gonna be it's gonna be a lonely road for her if she decides to marry this man. And he shouldn't because any man that causes somebody people like that does not respect you, and you shouldn't be with a man like that. The top comment is, ma'am, you need to leave that whole family behind you, including your fiance, not the asshole. You just had a peek into your future if you carry on with this relationship. And then o p, do not waste your mama's wedding dress on this man.
Erika:He doesn't deserve it.
Edgar:That's crazy. And and this also this the top comment has 21000 upvotes. There's 21000 people who have not blessed this wedding. So she she's gotta leave.
Erika:Yeah. I hope so. I mean, there's no up there or anything. This was posted two hundred and seven days ago. So, hopefully, she never married that man.
Edgar:I wonder if there's a follow-up, but
Erika:There isn't. There's no update, unfortunately.
Edgar:Alright, Katie. But it's okay. Hopefully, the best for her. I hope she at least got the husband on her side.
Erika:Wait. There is an update, and I just literally found it. Oh my god. Okay.
Edgar:What is the update?
Erika:Says update. Yes. I am leaving him for sure now. I really don't appreciate the call comments calling me bad names for staying. I never intended to stay, and the only reason I thought we needed a conversation was because his this behavior was recent, and I wanted to understand what was going on.
Erika:I haven't told him that it's over officially, though it should be obvious. Yeah. Mainly because I'm scared he might do something violent as many comments said. I need a I need a few days to figure out things, and I'm gonna tell my brother to pick up to pick me up so I can stay there for a few days. I'm logging off now, and I'll update if anything happens.
Edgar:So I guess yeah. There there are happy endings.
Erika:Oh my god. I'm so glad she didn't marry him.
Edgar:I know.
Erika:That would have been such a
Edgar:Yeah. So we got on her for for, figuring out the true colors before signing all the paperwork and going through the ceremony. Yeah.
Erika:Marrying the asshole family. Oh my god. Thank god.
Edgar:That would have been a nightmare for her.
Erika:It would have. I think she was lucky enough to realize that that man was no good. Mm-mm. So yeah.
Edgar:Kind of verdict?
Erika:It is she's not the asshole, obviously. How about you?
Edgar:Yeah. Definitely not the asshole at all in this situation. The entire family, though. Yeah.
Erika:Yeah. All the family.
Edgar:They gotta put a big a in their forehead.
Erika:You mean l?
Edgar:A. Or asshole.
Erika:As in losers. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm glad. At least that was a happy ending.
Erika:I was, like, wondering.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:But, yes, I hope you guys enjoyed the stories. Thank you for joining us on the part two.
Edgar:On our website, yappings.com, at the very bottom, you can subscribe to our mailing list, and you'll be the first to get anything that we have, as soon as we we make it. We were thinking about starting, like, a Patreon or, like, some sort of place for all of our, like, members, like, core or less.
Erika:Yes. So if you want more content, let us know, and I hope you enjoy, and see you next week. Bye.
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