Episode 11
· 45:08
Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar:Edgar.
Darielys:And Dave.
Erika:And we are the Yapping Snouchers. We entertain you with the worthy stories we find around the web. The theme of this episode is packages, surprises, and other interesting stories. So the first one is, would I be the asshole for opening an ex neighbor's package after almost a year of them not coming to retrieve it?
Erika:Long time reader, first time poster. So I, 33 male, have been living with my husband, 35 male, in one of the 4 court your houses for 5 years. We love it here and have amazing neighbors. Now to my question. Context.
Erika:1 of the houses, for some strange reason, there are no interior or exterior problems, and rent is actually reasonable. Cannot hold a ton of it. We had 4 in the last year with the last one staying the longest. The first neighbor who moved them back in January had a very toxic relationship and it would spill out in the yard. Cops were called and she eventually moved back to the East Coast with her parents.
Erika:Lovely gal. And we tried to be supportive neighbors. We were so glad when she snapped out of it and did the toxicity in her life. Well, a random Amazon package showed up in our doorstep addressed to her. This was normal as her addresses are hard to see.
Erika:Property management has lagged for years to rectify the issue. We didn't quite know what to do. So first, we contacted the property manager to see if they had contacted her. They called, but it was clear she had changed her number for good reason, and emails were returned to sender. The husband then says, let's contact Amazon.
Erika:They were zero help, which was not their fault because she had deleted her account. And, of course, her email and number were changed. We asked if you could drop it off at Amazon to return, like Kohl's, Whole Foods. They said that because we have no receipt or any of her information, there was no point. We were at the dead end.
Erika:Cut to the present day. The package is still sitting in the nook. We left it unopened. We haven't felt right opening it. For some reason, I'm scared karma will get me.
Erika:I know. Irrational fear. But the way this country is going, anything can happen. My husband is feeling the same way. Oh, what ifs keeps popping in my heads, and we feel absolutely silly to be anxious about an uncleaned package.
Erika:Yeah. Here we are. So would I be the asshole to finally open the package? My curiosity has me yearning to know what's in it. So would he be the asshole?
Edgar:Okay. So being curious about opening it, I don't think that's, like, grounds to being an asshole. But, yeah. I mean, it's been a while. I think does he know where the the old neighbor, lives now?
Edgar:Maybe he can, like, contact them.
Erika:Right. And then they can mail them.
Darielys:They mail the package to them directly.
Edgar:I remember because I got I did something similar when I, like, bought a ticket for, like, a concert, like, a few years back. I just, like, contacted the person who, like, the ticket belonged to me. Like, hey. Your ticket's here. What do you want me to do?
Edgar:And then they said, oh, thank you. I'll just handle it on their end. So I think, yeah, I think that's, like, the safest thing to do is just, like, just contact them.
Erika:They tried. I literally half of the story was about them contacting the person. I know. I know. So they did try.
Erika:Mhmm. But everything is that how? Well, she
Darielys:was looking at change her number Yeah.
Erika:Literally changed her address. Like, it was deleted account. There was no way they could return the package. So that I I mean she
Darielys:did it for a reason. Yeah. The toxic relationship and everything so it makes sense. But shouldn't I mean if I were her and I remembered that I ordered something I would be like where's my package?
Edgar:Exactly.
Darielys:You know what I mean? I'd be like, oh my god. It's still, like, probably in my old, like, where I live, where I where I used to live or something. Like, I'd be worried. Like, where's my package?
Darielys:Like, I don't know. She probably forgot about it and, you know, but
Edgar:I hope it's something that's I
Darielys:mean, if it's there for a long time, I'd be curious
Erika:about it. You said a year. Right?
Darielys:I I would probably open it. Yeah. I'm like, what's this? If it's like if it's something really important, I'll, like, keep trying. But if it's like something, I don't know.
Darielys:I wouldn't.
Erika:I don't know. So there is an update It says, hubby's got home, and I showed him the post and the subsequent comments. We had a good chuckle. He had changed. We tore right to the package.
Erika:We checked the Amazon policy. We were relieved to find 90 day wait period before it becomes ours to do with as we please. We are well past the that few. We made a bet on what it was in the box, and I'll be honest. We went pretty dark in our guesses.
Erika:Both were completely wrong, which just showed me we are heathens. To our surprise, it was a ring bell with 2 additional mini camps. Funny enough, we've been waiting to get one. Our house is off a busier street. We're down we're near downtown, but not in it.
Erika:We get people both homeless and not walking by if we have situations with invasive behavior. Hobbies, YouTube, and advice on the best angles while I read and reread the instructions, making sure I put it right. Honestly, it's kinda ironic. She purchased the contraption then left shortly after, but at least we got something out of it. Right?
Erika:So, yeah, that's what it was.
Edgar:What?
Erika:I mean, it
Darielys:was something good. The camera, it was a
Erika:The Ring Bell and the Oh, yeah. Mini cam. Mhmm.
Darielys:Oh. That's a that's pretty good, though. Yeah.
Erika:That's so good. That's pretty expensive too, remember? Yeah. I don't know. We have one too.
Erika:A Ring camera in the front. Mhmm. Okay. So yeah. So I I mean, I guess they got get to keep it because of the 90 day return policy.
Erika:So yeah. Yeah.
Edgar:The next story is titled, am I the asshole for getting my roommate to hook up with my ex to get my favorite coffee mug back? I cut off coffee mugs shaped as cool things. Anyways, I dated a guy for a year that brought me back this mug from the states shaped as a shark. Handle was a fin. Semi expensive mug.
Edgar:I looked into buying another one. I love sharks more than anything, so this was the perfect gift. This mug was so perfect that I would never use it for coffee because coffee wasn't worthy of this mug. When we broke up, despite my love for the shark mug, I put it in the box of stuff you give back to your ex thinking it would bring back too many memories. Now a year later, I'm happily with someone else and these memories are no longer.
Edgar:I basically just want my favorite mug back. My roommate who is newly single is on Tinder, happened to match with my ex. I explained the mug story and now we've made it a mission for her to go over there, hook up with him, and take the mug in the morning. To be fair, he's only looking for the hookup as he has stated in his profile, so no emotional sabotage. So edit, to be fair, she was already planning on hooking up with him anyways.
Edgar:I just told her to comment on the mug if she saw it to be funny. She said she would just get it back.
Erika:Verdict booty. Okay.
Edgar:Update. I know you all desperately want this edit. No. He's invited her over to check out his new place when he's done moving with her wink at the end, of course. So progress, unpack kitchen essentials and show anyone.
Edgar:Emergency update. The ex in my roommate is still talking, but now my ex's roommate has also matched with her on Tinder, and it's asking her to come over. Same house. This plot just says real. Update, operation shark rescue is currently to go.
Edgar:Wish you luck, Reddit. Hello again, Reddit, and thank you for coming with me on this operation shark mug. I am pleased to talk to you all on this fine Thursday. This is what has happened. The roommate did in fact sleep with the ex.
Edgar:The roommate did in fact see the mug. She also did not take it back. Everything that happened and that was gonna happen happened. I thought all was lost in Operation Shock Mug. My dream crushed to say the least.
Edgar:Game over. But then I recently was in a wedding, which the ex attended as a close friend. Him and I made conversation about the roommate about the mug, and eventually I came clean about the plan. He told me that it was a hilarious plan, but that he had to be honest with me. The shark mug you see was too important to use as well.
Edgar:So the fate of the shark mug is it's now his toothbrush holder. He sent me picture evidence later that evening, and I told him I deserve it for the plan I hatched. End of the day, it was a good luck for all in the end.
Darielys:What? There was just so much. There was, like, so many edits and updates and throughout the whole thing.
Edgar:Yeah. Hopefully, you
Darielys:can of a shark mug.
Edgar:Yeah. Hopefully, you can learn how to spell.
Darielys:I would've left the shark mug. Since he did. Yeah. She can just get another one. Making a plan to hook up with him is actually insane over a mug.
Edgar:I know. Yeah. I mean, the family just started talking. The roommate in the ex.
Erika:No. Well, they they matched in Tinder. So it was they were gonna hang out anyways.
Darielys:Mhmm. That's so funny to me. In In the morning, she's gonna wake up be, like, looking through all his, like, drawers to see if if there's a shark cup. And then she's just gonna leave with the cup. Like, I don't
Erika:That's so weird. Like, what do you say? The bag? In your bag is yeah.
Darielys:Who knows how big it is?
Erika:I I know. Usually, mugs are pretty big.
Darielys:Yeah. In a chart? It probably has, like, a tail and everything.
Erika:Yeah. So the the fin was the handle? Yeah. That's kinda cool, though. It sounds pretty cool.
Erika:Yeah. But now it's a toothbrush holder.
Darielys:But that was very, like I think she went too much. Like, she went, like I don't know how to explain it. Like
Erika:And then she told them what happened. And Yeah. Yeah.
Edgar:I was like
Darielys:And then how she said at the end of the day, it was a good laugh for all. Girl, what? So she went through all that just to laugh at the end?
Erika:She didn't even get the coffee. I don't even you love that. Girl, I cannot. At least it was entertaining, kinda.
Edgar:Was it?
Erika:For you, it wasn't. And then
Edgar:I don't know. I've maybe because the, edits were, like, so miniscule.
Darielys:Emergency update. Yeah. Oh my god. I feel like that whole thing should have been, like, an edit. Like, all that should have been, like, yeah.
Edgar:Yeah. Because he was basically, like, every few hours they'd post the edit, I guess.
Darielys:I don't know.
Edgar:Like, you know, we we need just the big ideas or the big, like, events that happen, not just like, oh, this is gonna happen. This will happen soon. At least This
Darielys:is happening. Yeah.
Erika:A little bit. Mhmm. Alright. So next story is a mother asked for cleaning out the fridge without telling my husband. What's t h mean?
Erika:Daughter? No. T h d h. Husband? Something husband.
Edgar:Dear husband.
Darielys:Dear husband. Yeah.
Edgar:That's so stupid. That's so
Darielys:yeah.
Erika:No. Yeah. No. I was gonna say husband.
Edgar:Yeah. My dear husband. Stupid.
Darielys:My dear husband.
Edgar:Your dear ex husband.
Erika:Please. Yeah. You wouldn't call it dear, though. Okay. My husband.
Erika:I was about to say it.
Darielys:There's so many d h everywhere. I know.
Erika:Okay. My husband brought home a metal box that he checks on often during the day, what's in when it's in the fridge. When asked about it, he said it contained freshly picked olives his friends, Jason, got from his uncle's farm and wanted husband to keep it till he gets back from his business trip. I had no problem with him keeping it safe at the bottom of the fridge. My husband always asked me to be cautious with the box and not open it as it'd be rude to touch other people's stuff.
Erika:Yesterday, I decided to clean out the fridge, which took me about 2 hours of unplugging the fridge, emptying all items, groceries, vegetables, containers, and washing and cleaning out the inside of it and letting it settle before plugging it in in again. I took the box my husband brought out out the fridge and placed it on the kitchen island along other containers. While I was working, I received a video call via WhatsApp from my husband while at work feeling bored asking what I was doing. I showed him I was cleaning out the fridge and he suddenly freaked out and asked me about the metal box. I was confused and told him to calm down.
Erika:I showed him where the box was. He got mad telling me heesh, I shouldn't have cleaned out the fridge nor even touched the box without telling him. I again tried to ask him to calm down and as I saw no big deal with that. His precious box was safe and sound, but he went on an rant about how the box needed to be put in back in the fridge ASAP and told me to plug the fridge in right then. But I couldn't because it was wet, and I still wasn't finished washing, cleaning other parts.
Erika:Apparently, I pissed him off by stalling, and he hung up. And 30 minutes later, he came home and pitched a hissy fit, saying I should have picked a time where he was at home to clean out the fridge so he could take the box somewhere else to keep it cool. I said, so what? It was sitting out the fridge for barely 2 hours, and the olives can stand being outside of the fridge for a longer period. He said, I don't get it.
Erika:He took the box and wanted to leave with it. As for where he was taking it, he said he needed to go back to work and had no time to explain. I shrugged this whole thing off, but he came back with the in the evening and put it inside the fridge, then complained about cleaning the fridge without telling him and acting dismissive of my opinions. I argued that opinions could he have on cleaning out the fridge. He argued back saying he promised Jason he keep his olives in a good condition and that I should have told them.
Erika:End of story. I wonder if I messed up. He usually doesn't get mad on unless I've messed up. I think I have. And, yes, there's an edit.
Erika:And I'm aware that my husband is acting overprotective of this box, but he's always asked like that whenever someone asks us to keep an item safe for them, like furniture or car parts. And second of all, no. I haven't seen those olives myself and haven't opened the box because I didn't think I had to. But my husband tends to be overprotective of his friend's belongings, so I don't think much of it. And, yes, I unplugged the fridge before cleaning out since I did have heavy cleaning.
Erika:You can see that it's common method. Just Google. And to give some info, the metal box does look like a container of some sort. My husband calls it a box, so I don't think it's much different. I don't
Darielys:I don't think there was olives in that box. I think it was something else because I don't think somebody would freak out over olives.
Edgar:Mm-mm.
Darielys:And that's funny because not a lot of people like olives. I'm just not seeing. I wouldn't like, I feel like if they didn't like it, we like this I don't care about them, but, like, olives do last outside for, like, a long time. Yeah.
Edgar:You know?
Darielys:Yeah. So Well, if they're closed, they last. But, like, if you open them, you have to put them in the fridge. Wait.
Erika:Do you put olives in a martini? In a what?
Edgar:Martini?
Darielys:Yeah. Oh, martini? I don't
Erika:know, girl. I forget. How am
Darielys:I supposed to do it?
Edgar:Because I think of olives. I think of, like, pizza or, like, sandwiches.
Darielys:I think of, like, the green ones.
Edgar:Well, like, what you put on it?
Darielys:Like, rice.
Edgar:Oh. You put it in rice? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes.
Erika:Puerto Rican rice.
Darielys:I put it on, like, so many
Edgar:So you
Erika:eat it?
Edgar:So good.
Darielys:Yes. I love olives. Okay.
Edgar:I'll give you my olives then.
Darielys:I love them. But it has to be, like, goja because sometimes, like, you know the big yeah. The big olives? The they sound like it's like weird brand. Yeah.
Darielys:They're like, ugh. I don't know. They don't taste the same. They're like it has to be like the goya one, but it have like the little pepper inside. Oh, those taste so good.
Darielys:Oh my god. I can eat like the whole thing by itself.
Erika:Yeah. So apparently you do put olives in a Bertini. Do you use Spanish queen olives or Spanish manzanilla olives for the best ones in the market? Probably the one, the one with the red one. Red things in there?
Darielys:Yeah. Yeah. Those are so good.
Edgar:That sounds gross. What?
Darielys:It's so good.
Erika:I never tried a martini before. I love you.
Darielys:I wanna try one.
Edgar:You could try it.
Darielys:I think you might like it. I think I would like it. Yeah.
Edgar:I'm not gonna try it.
Darielys:We gotta try it. Maybe. You could just try to drink and then right.
Edgar:No. But, like, the olives touch the drink, so it's contaminated.
Darielys:I mean, we could try it, and then you guys could just give me the olive. I saw it. It was, like, 3 in the steak.
Erika:Yeah. It looks I mean, it looks really nice, like, aesthetically pleasing, but
Darielys:Did you take pictures? Yeah. It looks but, like, it's, like, clear. The drink is clear. That's kinda weird.
Darielys:Yeah. It's like water with with olives in it. But, yeah, the husband, I feel like he overreacted. I don't think it was that deep. That pissed me off.
Darielys:What he said what did he say? In, like, in the beginning, freshly picked olives. What?
Edgar:I know.
Darielys:Where's his friend Jason? Oh my god. I
Erika:mean, I Jason.
Darielys:Why can't he keep them in his fridge?
Erika:I know. What's
Darielys:You know what I mean? Yeah. That's why I don't think it was olives. I think it was like something suspicious. I would've opened the box.
Darielys:I was like, why are you hiding?
Erika:I wonder if the husband opened the box.
Darielys:Oh my god.
Erika:Because he's protecting. I think it's olive. And what if he, you know, he didn't open it? So
Darielys:What if it's like something like I don't know. What if it's like I think it's like deeper. There's something like deeper.
Edgar:I know. It's definitely not olive. It's just like 2 superstitious.
Darielys:And he has something there, like some, like, evidence of aloe. I don't know.
Edgar:I don't know.
Darielys:A finger. You know what I mean? It's probably something, like, weird like that. Because, like, olives, you don't freak out over olives. You freak out over, like, some evidence that you're hiding in the fridge, and it has to be, like, cool all the time.
Darielys:Dude, that's definitely, like, a finger. No. Smit. Or, like, an I r o e or something. It's something.
Darielys:Because of what you mean, it has to be cold.
Erika:Yeah. So the top comment is, am I the only viewer thinking there's some type of drug in this box? Your husband is acting very strange about leaked olives. You're not the asshole, but your husband sure is. Thanks for and yeah.
Erika:So that's pretty much everybody liked that comment. Mhmm. Yeah. So I thought that was interesting. Yeah.
Erika:We don't know where it is, though.
Edgar:And we're never well.
Darielys:Yeah. She needs to make, like, a little update, like
Edgar:And it's what it is.
Darielys:If she ever, like, found out
Erika:I don't think she did. She she was she said that she wasn't interested in finding out where it was.
Darielys:I would have been interested.
Erika:Me too. I would open it right away.
Darielys:Give me the especially when he's not there, if he's at work, girl, open the locks. I would open the locks.
Erika:I would like yeah. Definitely.
Edgar:This is, like, the kind of story where I want to update. Not, like, about someone's mug.
Darielys:The shark look.
Edgar:Like, no one
Darielys:had ended up being a toothbrush holder. That's what.
Erika:No. RB.
Darielys:I thought it was, like, gonna break or something. I don't know.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. Final verdict?
Erika:That's asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. I hope he isn't. But,
Darielys:The husband's that. That's the booty.
Edgar:I'm reasonably suspicious. Yes. But, yeah. So the next story is titled, am I the asshole for refusing to take my friend's package with me internationally without opening and checking it first. I will soon be flying to the other side of the world, and my friend asks me to take a package with me and deliver it to her friend who lives in the country I am flying to.
Edgar:Now I trust my friend with my life, but I told her that since it's an international flight and I'm taking unneeded risk as otherwise, I would appreciate if I could open a package with her present and look for it just to make sure it's there's nothing undesirable in it. My friend immediately gets offended and even starts yelling at me, telling me how she can't believe that I don't trust her and that I am invading her privacy. She told me I'm being selfish and paranoid and that she won't let me see inside the package because it has sensitive content. That ended up freaking me out more, so I told her that I can't do it if I can't make sure it's safe and that I'm sorry. She started to cry and left the room.
Edgar:She later left a text saying I'm selfish and that she doesn't wanna talk to me anymore. While I do feel bad, I have heard all kinds of stories, and I don't wanna be put into a position where I'm responsible for whatever sensitive content is in our package. Reddit, am I the asshole? And
Erika:Yeah. I don't think she's an asshole. I think it's a good thing that she's being cautious because you just never know. I don't care if you know this person for years. Like, no.
Darielys:It's just going internationally too. Sensitive content is kinda suspicious.
Erika:Yeah. Like, if it's so sensitive, do you gotta let me know what it is? Because Yeah.
Edgar:Yeah. What if, like, I throw it against the wall?
Darielys:What no. Okay, dude. What if it, like, stop her and then it's, like, something, like, drop off the in there.
Edgar:Yeah. You know
Darielys:what I mean?
Erika:And then you're, like, I don't know.
Edgar:My friend told me it was sensitive content.
Erika:It sounds even more suspicious. Like, why you
Darielys:Yeah. They're not gonna believe it's her friend. They're gonna think it's her own package. Yeah. And then she's the one one that's gonna get in trouble.
Edgar:This is how people get, like, trafficked.
Darielys:Yeah. What if it was, like, a setup? Oh my gosh.
Edgar:It sounds like some sort of setup where, like, I don't know. It's like
Erika:Do not open it. Dude.
Edgar:That's one of the reason why I feel like just to have, like, someone else be a happy moment.
Darielys:At least say what it is or something. I don't know.
Edgar:I don't.
Erika:Yeah. And then, I mean, how much does she know her friend or trust her friend that she's if she's willing to even yeah. I guess she doesn't trust her friend that much to not wanna do that.
Edgar:I wouldn't.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:I wouldn't even if I if someone I did trust.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, Alice, you don't let me see what's inside. We're not bringing this package with me.
Darielys:How big was it?
Erika:I'm not sure even well, there is an edit.
Edgar:Okay.
Erika:It says, I trust my friend a lot, but I should mention that my friend is known to cultivate weed and then store them in spice jars. I could have sworn her noises in the glass of glass in the package, and she has joked before that she could smuggle weed disguised as spice or herb or something that they wouldn't know a thing. I do trust her, but I just wanna have a peace of mind. I'm sad she's offended, but I just wish she could understand my point of view. More reason not to be Exactly.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:If she's known if she's, like, a known, like, drug, like, gardener or whatever they call it.
Darielys:Weed. Yeah. No. Gardener.
Edgar:What what do you call it when you, like, go go weed in your backyard?
Darielys:I don't know. Weeder. A weeder. You're a weeder? I don't know.
Erika:I have no idea.
Darielys:But, like
Edgar:But yeah. I mean No. That's already too sus. Like, she's probably, like, in it like, the friend is probably getting a lot of money for this, but she wants, like Yeah. She doesn't wanna be involved in, like Yeah.
Edgar:The transportation of it, and she's willing to throw her friend under the bus.
Darielys:There's definitely weed in that package. Yeah. How about it? Percent. Probably, like, tons of it or at least, like
Edgar:She's about to get her friend sent sent them to life in prison for
Darielys:a whole
Edgar:Yeah. A 100, like, pounds of weed.
Erika:So I googled and it said it's called Cultivators. Cult? Cultivator? Yep. The people that grow weed.
Edgar:I'm gonna call them weeders.
Darielys:No. It's a weeder. People that grow weeder. That's what it's called. Weeder.
Erika:So there is another edit. That's okay. And it says, my friend hasn't spoken to me since the incident and has had a message delivered to me via mutual friend saying the only way she'll talk to me is if I take this package from her. Trust in our friendship. However, I heard from my friend that the person that was supposed to deliver the package has a reputation involving drugs.
Erika:And while we didn't get into detail, my friend said not not not for using them. I don't want to accuse anyone or anything. Rumors fly and innocent until proven guilty. But I definitely not taking that package anymore unless I get a pretty good look at it. Okay.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, I don't even know.
Edgar:That's definitely, like confirms. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe she's, like, trying to, like, throw her on the bus for for, I don't know, how much money she's gonna get from that. And it's just the entire situation is, like, code sketch.
Erika:Yeah. And then this was kinda funny because I saw it says, I saw a comment asking me if I know Jason who stores olives in his fridge. Stop. Was that
Darielys:a story from before?
Erika:Yes. It says, sorry for your plan, mate. Funny enough, her boyfriend's name is Jason. Fun fact, to enhance this story, he loves a show called Breaking Bad so bad that he legally gave himself the middle name Walter. Please.
Erika:But sadly, I do not know if he keep their olives in refrigerators.
Darielys:It's weed and the olives. Weed, olives.
Edgar:Ching, crossover, machete stories.
Darielys:That's insane.
Erika:I think they do know each other.
Darielys:That's actually kinda crazy that, like, her boyfriend's name is, like, also Jason. Oh my god. Connect the dots.
Erika:Alright. That's I did that on purpose, guys. Alright. So next story. Oh, wait.
Erika:What's the verdict? Yeah.
Darielys:Oh, not that.
Erika:Not that. No. Because
Edgar:the frenzy.
Darielys:She did it for her, like, her own safety, I guess. Yeah. It's like She's literally gone to jail.
Erika:Yeah. I'm suffering Yeah. Hurting there.
Edgar:Yeah.
Darielys:I'm sorry. I'm not going to jail for a friend. No. What are you doing? Why are you doing stupid things?
Edgar:Obviously doesn't, like, respect us.
Darielys:Like, tell somebody else to do it.
Edgar:Like Mhmm.
Darielys:Hire somebody else to
Erika:do it.
Darielys:Yeah. Exactly.
Erika:If you wanna take risk, do
Darielys:it yourself. Hire people to do that. My own friends. What's wrong with you?
Erika:I love you.
Darielys:My friend Be smarter. Come on, girly.
Edgar:Shake my head. Alright. Yeah. The next story is titled, am I the asshole for telling my new neighbor that I've been trapped in a basement for a week after she told me not to check my mailbox on weekends. I've been away since Thursday, house sitting for my mom, and it's currently Sunday afternoon where I live.
Edgar:Here, mail doesn't deliver on weekends. They only do that Monday to Friday, which means I had 2 days worth of mail in my mailbox. My 30 something year old neighbors moved in on Friday when I wasn't there, and she was in her front yard when I was collecting my mail. She goes, don't check your mailbox on weekends. They don't deliver on weekends, so don't check it in a rude, caring voice.
Edgar:If you know, then you know. I already already I know we're not going to have a good neighbor relationship, and I'm hungover and can't be bothered dealing with her shiz. So I said, I know it's just I've been kidnapped in the basement for weeks, so I had to check the mail box. I don't have a basement. Barely anyone does in my country.
Edgar:She seemed shocked, but it was obviously a joke with my overly sarcastic tone. Then we both went inside and that was that. About 25 minutes later, the police knocked on the door thinking I was held captive in my basement, which I don't have. So I explained to them what I had, and they just laughed and laughed. Just before, I was putting rubbish in the bin, and she came out and called me a, an an a mean word for making her think I was kidnapped.
Edgar:Am I the asshole?
Darielys:What?
Edgar:Not really. I think, obviously, it was a joke, and the other lady the other neighbor is just, like, is not in on the joke and has no humor.
Erika:Zero humor. Zero humor. Like, how you not hear the sarcasm her her boys?
Edgar:Mhmm.
Darielys:Chiz humor. She's in crackers.
Erika:I can't. Yeah. Oh, and she's also from Australia. So I guess Australians don't have a lot of, basements.
Edgar:Spiders. Because you gotta worry about spiders. Oh, stop. My wife Oh, no. Wipe buried to the ground deeper to and closer to, like, nest.
Erika:Oh, stop. No. I get itching. There we go.
Darielys:That should be your birthday present. No. And trip to Australia. I
Erika:would never go
Darielys:there. Middle of nowhere, and then you wake up and you go outside, please. You go outside and then the first thing you see is a kangaroo just standing outside your phone.
Erika:I was fine.
Darielys:Girl, they're gonna kick you in your face.
Erika:As long as I don't do anything to them. It's all about spiders. I'm gonna see a spider. I will be yelling.
Darielys:We're not pee in the middle of the night. I just see a spider on the wall.
Erika:Oh my god. Everybody's gonna be awake. Everybody's gonna hear me yelling. Everybody's gonna come and they're gonna know there's a spider.
Darielys:Oh my god.
Erika:Yeah. I can't. I I think it's beautiful and lovely, but I I just all those animals, deadly animals over there. It's not very inviting. No.
Erika:But her favorite. Definitely not.
Darielys:She loves spiders. Loves them.
Erika:I hate them. She has one
Darielys:of, like, those, like, glass things in her room. Oh my god. You know how they do the butterflies? Oh. It's a spider.
Erika:I have one of a butterfly.
Darielys:Oh, I was like, a spider? Where is it?
Erika:It's right there in my living room.
Darielys:Oh yeah. I had to make sure it was there. She has to turn around. Yeah.
Erika:She thought it was clay? Yeah.
Darielys:I was like, wait. Where? And I see it like all the time.
Erika:Yeah. Literally. You're sitting in front of
Darielys:me. Literally.
Erika:Yeah. So I don't think she's an asshole. I think
Darielys:it was just a misunderstanding. That was funny.
Erika:At least the obvious a first police officer thought they were funny too.
Darielys:She's so sarcastic. I would have done that too. I am. No. I was stuck in the basement for a week.
Darielys:Oh my god. Like, brush up. Get I
Edgar:think yeah. Obviously, the neighbor knew knew what she was doing when I'm calling the police on her. Like, like
Darielys:But she's so annoying. Why does she have
Erika:to remind that it didn't come in the weekends. It doesn't girl, why are you judging me? I mean, I was thinking, like, how the neighbor
Edgar:is, like, acting.
Darielys:What if it was package? What if it was package?
Erika:Well, they don't deliver in weekends. Packages? Yeah. It's only Monday through Friday in
Darielys:Oh, in there? Yeah. Oh, I
Erika:was like So that's why she's, like, oh, there you shouldn't check your mailbox, especially if you don't check your mailbox
Edgar:on on
Erika:the weekend. Oh. But still, if she wants to check it out on the weekend, she can. Like, why are you telling
Darielys:her what to do? Check-in on Friday and she wants to check-in on Saturday. Yeah. People are so nosy. I hate people.
Erika:They just need to mind their
Darielys:own business. I love people, guys. It's just some people.
Erika:Yeah. So the top comment is not that. So some people just need to mind their business. Who cares when you check your mail? Also, some people just do not understand sarcasm.
Erika:At least she cared enough to call the cops for you, though good thing they were cool about it. I imagine if the cops got pissed, and they were like, no. We're taking you in for, like,
Darielys:going back. Dude, they should have taken the girl the other girl in.
Erika:I know. She called it a fake report. It's like
Darielys:you made us drive all the way here.
Erika:Everywhere. And
Darielys:there's nobody's
Erika:name, dude. Yes. Okay. So the next story is Emma the asshole for filing a few faux Amazon packages with my dog's crap to teach the 2 thieving neighborhood kids who have been stealing my packages a lesson. That was the longest title.
Erika:This has been going on for a few months now. Ever since school let out. There are 2 girls in the neighborhood who are about 8 and 10. The oldest about 10 and 13. I have a video camera outside our apartment.
Erika:We have caught them red handed. The first package they stole contained puppy pee pads and garbage bags. 2nd package contained a pair of scrubs for work And last week, they got a Bluetooth speaker. Amazon replaced all my packages and I would rather not get the police involved. And their parents are real piece of work that don't supervise their kids.
Erika:So I decided to fill a few packages with dog crap and leave them something special to steal to hopefully teach them a lesson. I also taped notes that said, dear children, stop stealing my crap. And the boxes along with the turds, some of the turds are petrified. Some are juicy and wet. Ew.
Erika:And my ass over my diabetic
Darielys:or genius. That's disgusting. She's smart for that.
Edgar:And, and I told you
Darielys:what Yeah. What is the Let's
Edgar:call the police at that point.
Darielys:What she
Erika:didn't want involved? They're little kids.
Darielys:They're grown enough. They're grown.
Edgar:I don't know. There's juvie. Juvy. Yeah.
Erika:That's sad. I think they're only 9, 8. 8 packages. Deserve to
Edgar:be Juvy.
Darielys:Stole 3 packages. If it was only 1, I'll be like, okay. 3?
Edgar:Yeah. They're gonna give you forever.
Erika:You will call the cops?
Edgar:Yeah. Obviously.
Darielys:Edgar will call the cops and be hiding inside.
Erika:I'll be like, watch it.
Darielys:Dude, I'll be like, he'll do this. Open open the blind, like, a little bit.
Erika:I'm gonna be happy ventilating out of joy.
Edgar:I just ruined the kids life.
Erika:Don't look at the cameras.
Darielys:You call the cops, you gotta go outside.
Edgar:I will.
Erika:And be like, these kids have been stealing my packages.
Darielys:They take my packages.
Erika:And the kids are like, no.
Darielys:They put, you know,
Erika:they put, like How do you know?
Darielys:Kids sometimes they, like, like, they say things and they don't realize. I'm like, girl, like, you literally just snitched on yourself. Mhmm. That'd be kind of funny. Be like, no.
Erika:That was the other day. What? I know. Oh my god. That's so funny.
Erika:That is hilarious.
Darielys:Just keep doing that. But don't forget what package she put that in because what if she literally grabs it, thinking it's new, and then she opens it and it's like the dogs, you know, poop. That's been there forever. Ew. That's so nasty.
Darielys:I don't
Erika:think she's a asshole though for doing that. I think she's I think
Darielys:it's funny. That's so smart. I would've laughed. But I remember, like, I'm like, because I don't I thought they opened the packages, like, right in
Erika:her front of her door. No.
Darielys:So would it be kinda good to, like, get the reaction if they did? Oh my god. That would be nice. Yeah.
Erika:They recorded reaction
Darielys:after opening crap. So probably just, like, throw the box.
Edgar:Ew. Yeah.
Erika:Hope they did learn their lesson after
Darielys:this.
Edgar:Yeah. Hopefully. But, final verdict on Ofe.
Erika:Not the asshole.
Darielys:Not the booty.
Edgar:Yeah. The the kids are, though.
Darielys:Yeah.
Edgar:So the next story is titled, am I the asshole for going through my friend's closet to find my wedding dress. 2 years ago, my husband and I were doing some renovations to our house. I didn't want my wedding dress to get damaged or lost in the process, which considering we did lose a few things during the renovation, I was right to be concerned. My friend offered to keep it in her closet until the renovations were done. After we finished the renovations, I asked my friend for the dress back.
Edgar:She kept saying she'd get it back to me. I kept asking and she made up excuses. I found it weird. Now my sister is getting married and she wanted to wear that dress. This was our mother's dress and we always agreed we'd we'd each wear it.
Edgar:I told my friend I needed it back. She claimed she couldn't find it. I was perplexed because how does it just get up and walk away? She apologized and offered to pay me the cost of the dress, which I turned down because it wasn't about the money. The dress was sentimental, and I felt terrible my sister couldn't wear it.
Edgar:My friend and her husband went away. I was there to water their plants and feed their dogs. I decided to go look myself. I think technically that's illegal, but yet. The closet was very cluttered.
Edgar:I eventually found the dress. I can totally believe that she missed where it was and she wasn't being malicious in the slightest. The box was tucked behind a few larger ones containing seasonal clothes. I texted her saying I found the dress. Instead of being happy for me, she asked why I rummage for her closet.
Edgar:I said I just wanted to double check. She told me I had no right to go for her things. I said that because of her clutter, my sister almost didn't get to wear a dress she always dreamed of. My friend told me that I could have asked her to look again, but I pointed out it took 2 years for her to even look in the first place. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:I think yeah. Like, legally, she's in the wrong end. I think she's, like, a little bit of asshole going through her friend's house because no way she thinks she's going through a closet. She went through probably, like, a few rooms at least. So I think it that's, like, kind of, like, asshole territory on my end.
Erika:Honestly, she should have not said anything. She shoulda just
Edgar:Took it. Checked.
Erika:Took it.
Edgar:I mean, also yeah. There's also a very high chance, I think, that the friend
Erika:Wanted to keep it?
Edgar:Wanted to keep it. Yeah. And, like, hoping that she would forget. Yeah.
Erika:Like, how can you that's that's not right.
Darielys:It would have been obvious, though, because, like, what if she wore it? Like, her friend wore it. Her friend would have still noticed. Like
Edgar:I I think she was gonna wait, like, a few
Darielys:what I mean?
Edgar:I feel like she was playing a long game. It was gonna wait, like, 5, 20 years and be like, go for my dress.
Erika:I don't know. Because I think it has sentimental vile value. I don't think she would well, at least the friend will forget. I just think she should've said nothing and should've said, hey. Can you give me my dress back?
Erika:I keep bothering her. Even though she still had it.
Edgar:I mean, she could've done a better
Darielys:job buying it. Revenge.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. Because I took her
Darielys:2 years to look for it, and she found it, like, what, a couple probably couple minutes, I guess, or an hour. I'm a to look for it? Yeah. And it took her 2 years. Like, obviously, she wasn't even trying to look.
Darielys:She didn't wanna look. Yeah. She knew she had it. She just didn't wanna give it away.
Erika:Yeah. I think she it was selfish reasons. Maybe she didn't wanna keep it because it makes no sense.
Darielys:She she didn't wanna buy her own.
Erika:She could always adjust it or do something different, you know, so the dress away. Don't like, oh, no. That's not it because it's different.
Darielys:Or, like, share it. Like, have our sister wear it. And then if she really wants it, I don't know. Like, work something out.
Erika:Oh, so the top comment is I would have just taken it and never told her. Let her think she lost her mind. Yeah. And then OP actually responded to that and said, I don't I don't even think she ever would have attempted to find it again.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:But still, I'm glad she at least she she was able to keep it because, you know, her little sister wanted to to wear it.
Darielys:I know.
Erika:Alright. So the final story is Emma that asked for getting my neighbor's partner arrested. About a week ago, my cat got out and went missing for a few days. I was heartbroken. I put his litter box outside, hung flyers everywhere, and literally cried nonstop.
Erika:It was bad. Then, I noticed someone taking down my flyers. This made me really upset, so I started knocking on people's doors. One neighbor told me that she overheard her neighbor's kid excitedly thank his mom for a new cat. And when I walked up the driveway, what do you know?
Erika:My cat was sitting in their windowsill. He immediately started pawing at the glass when he saw me, and it broke my heart. I knocked on the front door and explained to the lady that answered that this was my cat, and she's he's clipped and everything, so I have proof he's mine. She literally laughed in my face and slammed the door. I knocked again and this time, a huge doodle answered and told me, this is my son's cat.
Erika:Now, go away and slammed the door in my face. I went home and bought like a baby. I called my dad. He's a county sheriff. So tell him what happened to ask what I should do.
Erika:He told me to stay home and that he will send over a deputy to take care of it. Well, apparently, the deputy let it slip that I was the county sheriff's daughter, and now the catnapper lady is telling everyone in the neighborhood I'm a so a spoiled brat who went crying to her daddy. But the thing is, I would have called the cops regardless. The only reason I called my dad first is because I was bawling and didn't want to sob on the phone to a stranger if I could avoid it. Plus, I wanted his advice on how to get my cat back.
Erika:Apparently, the kid's dad also went to jail because the deputy ran his plates and saw he had a warrant. So this woman is also telling everyone I got her partner arrested too. But how was I supposed to know the guy also had a freaking warrant? I just wanted my cat back. Am I the asshole?
Edgar:No. No. Better a spoiled brat than, like, a felon. Yeah. And a thief.
Erika:What are the chances, though? That's crazy.
Darielys:It's just it's a comma. Home. That's what happens for stealing a cat.
Erika:Poor cat. A cat saw her in the window. That was so bad. At the I know. I would literally cry too.
Edgar:Oh my god. Might just wanna see Bella.
Erika:Oh my god. What are the beans? Stop.
Edgar:Or Delilah.
Erika:I'm banging down that window. It was like, you know
Darielys:that that song was like, why, Shayla? Why, Shayla? No? No. No?
Darielys:No. Oh my god. I need Jean.
Erika:Do you
Edgar:think Jean would know? I don't know.
Darielys:Yes. Because you guys are not cultured.
Edgar:I I feel like she would also miss that reference.
Darielys:Oh my god. I need Jean. Jean, if you're listening to this. I'm embarrassed right now because they don't know what I'm talking about.
Erika:But at least she got her pat cat cat back.
Darielys:Yeah. Oh, but that's so sad. Yeah. But karma, karma's real.
Edgar:Yeah. I don't think the neighbors actually care that, the OPs as well, Brad or whatever.
Erika:No. I mean, they took out a guy that had a warrant for him and made the neighborhood safer. What do you mean?
Darielys:Mhmm. Yeah.
Erika:She was dating a felon,
Darielys:like Over a cat. Yeah. All this over a cat and look. And
Erika:then the deputy should keep his mouth shut. He doesn't know how to keep why did he say that she's a is the shared I know.
Edgar:I know. It's like
Erika:There's no reason for that.
Darielys:That's too much information. Mhmm. Just say, get the cat back and that's it. That's all you gotta do.
Edgar:We we got complaints. We got proof.
Erika:Yeah. So the top comment is not the asshole. He got what he deserved. He stole your cat, and you're gonna get your cat back. So are you gonna get cat back?
Erika:And then she wrote, o p. The deputy brought him back. He's curled up next to me right now. Aw. I'm glad.
Darielys:So if you wanna, like, see a picture of the cat.
Erika:Right? No. They don't have anything like that. I would love that too.
Darielys:Right? Like, or the at least a description or a name.
Edgar:Probably didn't wanna post a picture of the cat to protect the cat's identity.
Darielys:Girl, please. It's a cat. You know, there's probably, like, tons of cats that look exactly the same. Exactly.
Erika:There's no
Darielys:the cat. I didn't. I'm a be like, girl, can I see a picture of the cat? I'm just curious. I wanna see the cat.
Darielys:I just imagine the cat, like, on the window, like, with his paw. That's so sad.
Edgar:I should make a Reddit and a Reddit account and ask in the comment section.
Darielys:Oh my god. I'm a do that. That's so smart. I'll be like, can I
Erika:see a picture of your cat?
Darielys:Just be me, girl. I just wanna see.
Erika:Yeah. So, yeah, what's the verdict? She's not the boy.
Edgar:Yeah. Oh, he is not the asshole.
Erika:Exactly. I agree. I thought it was just cute that at least a happy ending that she got the cat back. Yeah. And justice.
Darielys:The warrior is kinda crazy.
Edgar:RIP.
Erika:Alright. Well, thank you so much for joining us this week, and we'll see you next week. Bye.
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