Episode 10
· 01:00:44
Yapping!
Erika:Hello. This is Erika.
Edgar:Edgar.
Darielys:And Dave.
Erika:And we are the Yapping Snousers.
Erika:We entertain you with the app worthy stories we find around the web. Today's stories is just tough stories in Reddit and also advice ones. So the first one is, am I the asshole for now wanting to drop charges on a 10 year old kid that beat up my 9 year old daughter at school? Some background. My kids go to a school where over 90% of the student population are refugees and immigrants.
Erika:We live in a neighborhood that is the same circumstances as my kid's school. Cut to yesterday. My 9 year old girl was out to recess. She was playing basketball with friends. This bully walked behind her, pushed her to the ground, and then she was getting up and the kid kicked her in the head like a soccer ball.
Erika:My wife went down to check my girl out of school. She'll be okay, I hope. But she has scratches on the side of her face, a black eye, and it's swollen. School principal said he'll handle it. Later on, he called my wife and I separately and asked us to drop the charges because the student doesn't understand what they did was wrong.
Erika:I told the principal that if the school isn't going to discipline the bully, I will call the police department and file charges. Am I the asshole for not wanting to drop the charges on a 10 year old kid?
Darielys:Not an asshole.
Edgar:I feel like, yeah, that age, they understand, like, what they're doing. And even though they don't think about the consequences, they're they could they are still, like, conscious of, like, what they're actually doing at the moment. And at the moment that yeah. At that moment, that that kid was just kicking the child just because, like, for whatever enjoyment that they wanted from that.
Darielys:In the head?
Edgar:Yeah. Until she was, like, swollen.
Darielys:No. That's abs. No. They knew exactly what they were doing. Mhmm.
Erika:Like, they were even she wasn't doing anything. She was playing basketball, went behind her, pushed her, and then kicked her in the face.
Darielys:That's absolutely insane. Mhmm.
Erika:There's no way he did not know what he did was wrong.
Darielys:There's just no way. Yeah. No. He definitely understood.
Edgar:And regardless of, like, the immigration status of him, of the the child, I imagine it's just, like, it's from the parents, you know? Like, the parents aren't raising the kid right. Like, at this point, they're raising, like, a a felon.
Erika:Yeah. I mean, I mean
Edgar:An up and coming felon.
Erika:Exactly. They must have he must see it somewhere that he thinks it's okay to do that, and that's why he doesn't think it's wrong. Mm-mm. There's only 9. Yeah.
Erika:Well.
Edgar:Yeah. No. Well, the child is 9 that got kicked in the face.
Erika:I know. Exactly. Like, she's she's little. And little kid is and the kid is older than 10. Yeah.
Erika:No. I mean, I think after what is it? 5? You think kids are a little bit more aware? I feel like they should be aware of, like, right and wrong.
Erika:Like, if they poop on their diaper or they you know, there's something wrong. They know they did wrong. Yeah. They try to hide it or they try to, like, oh, cry. So and they get in trouble.
Erika:Yeah. They like, if you really look at child development, little kids are very manipulative. Probably abusive
Darielys:in his house or something. Yeah.
Erika:Or Something's going on. Maybe Or
Edgar:the kid is the abusive. Anyways, like, I think, yeah, police should be involved because, like, there's definitely neglect or, like, some mistreatment or, like, teaching the kids the wrong lesson coming from the other kid's household.
Darielys:Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.
Edgar:Like, that has to be, like, investigated.
Erika:Yeah. I agree. I honestly think, I was reading the comments, and it's it's really true. Like, I honestly think that this kid's probably just neglected, and he's maybe wants doing stuff like that to get attention, or the parents are not parenting. Something's wrong.
Edgar:Yeah. Because I might be, like, one time, my family and I went to 6 Flags, and, we had, like, a wagon to, like, to carry all our stuff, like, all linen stuff, all of, like, all our like, just everything that we had. Mhmm. And then it was just my mom and, the wagon because everyone went to use the bathroom. And my mom said, like, these, like, Spanish little kids, like, went up to the wagon and, like, was digging for it.
Darielys:Oh my god.
Edgar:So my mom, like, shooed them away, and then, like, their parents the the the kids' parents went nearby, and they're, like they just shrugged, and they're, like, oh, just whatever. But then then they all left.
Darielys:That's great.
Edgar:So, like, this is this is all, like, pretty, like I feel like whenever I see, like, a situation where, like, a kid is doing, like, wrong, I know it's, like, they're being taught that for whatever reason. Mhmm. They're being taught that's okay or they're being taught to do that for to and to instantly, like, execute on it.
Darielys:That's that. What are you trying to find?
Edgar:I don't know.
Erika:No. That's
Darielys:not me.
Erika:The fact that the parents didn't say that's not okay, not the behavior is not okay, it means that they're just gonna keep doing that.
Darielys:You probably told them to do it.
Edgar:Exactly. And my mom was in there. Yeah. They definitely would take something.
Darielys:Yeah. That's crazy.
Erika:Or the
Darielys:whole wagon. Just run off with the wagon. Yeah.
Edgar:They're lucky I wasn't there.
Darielys:Girl, what are you gonna do? You're not gonna do anything.
Edgar:I'll grab the kids and be like
Darielys:Yeah. The kid's gonna grab you.
Erika:They grab you?
Edgar:Yeah. They're gonna be a fair fight. You get what you were saying.
Darielys:The only one.
Edgar:No. That is crazy.
Erika:Right. Yeah. I mean, one of the top comments I really liked was a 100%. A child's status as a refugee is absolutely absolutely no reason to drop charges. I'll definitely take that above the principal's head.
Erika:If the refugee child has been so traumatized at his and her own past, then they still don't need to be in the school system. They need intense therapy and close supervision in a controlled environment at the absolute minimum. Posters should absolutely proceed with charges and not involved local media. No way should something this dangerous be swept under the carpet.
Edgar:Yeah. I mean, it's even ridiculous for the principal to, like, to, like, beg them not to, like, press any charges. Like, that's a good that's a personal matter between, like, the families, not, like, something, like, the school should, like, get involved in.
Erika:Yeah. I don't understand why they went to the principal. They were they wait. Were they oh, they were at recess, so they were in school grounds. Yeah.
Edgar:That makes sense. Yeah.
Erika:I thought they were in a playground, but, no, they were at recess.
Edgar:The only reason why I imagined they would be doing that, it's like, that would probably be, like, a record on that school's ground, and he
Erika:probably doesn't want that. That's always the the case is they don't wanna have, like, a bad reputation, and bad reputation means less. You know.
Edgar:Well, it's even worse reputation if you're, like, you're known to sweep things under the carpet.
Erika:But they have no proof, and there's no charges. So it doesn't matter if people talk.
Edgar:Well, kids talk still. But yeah.
Erika:Yeah. But it doesn't matter. It it would just affect them if social media, everything, or there's charges actual charges into their property or, like, reputation. That's when it actually matters.
Edgar:I doubt it. Or
Erika:well, yeah. There's no if there's no actual
Edgar:I think of, like, when remember when you were growing up, when you heard about the other schools in your, like, in your surrounding towns? Did you hear about, like, the the other school's reputation from, like, the principal or from, like, the government? No. You heard it from, like, other kids that you were friends with?
Erika:Not really. I don't know. I guess it depends. Well, for little kids let's say, for example, if you're trying to get into middle not middle school, like, kindergarten and all that. Mhmm.
Erika:The parents has to be it's more in charge of them going into that school. So they they are the ones that get the information, talk to people. But once you get older, then you make friends and you, you know, there's gossip and whatever. But not little kids, like, in especially in that age, what? Is that still is that middle school?
Erika:10 years old, 9 years old?
Edgar:That's elementary.
Darielys:That's elementary. That's elementary?
Erika:Yeah. So, like, you know, I guess you could hear, you know, kids talking, but I don't know. It's just different. I think it's more adults in that type of, like, range of kids. Mhmm.
Erika:I don't know. Do you know what I'm saying or no?
Edgar:Yeah. I guess so.
Erika:Yeah. Because as you get older, you're the one, you know, like, which school you wanna go to, especially when you're in high school.
Darielys:Yeah. You decide.
Erika:Yeah. But when you're little, your parents decide, regardless of what people you know, little kids are like, oh, don't go to that school. I'm like, yeah.
Darielys:Yeah. That's why I'm not sure.
Edgar:I wanna go to school. Like, they have a a bully. Yeah. They kick you going to bed.
Erika:Yeah. But at the
Edgar:end of
Erika:the day, it's your parents, you know, decision.
Edgar:So, ultimately, it's OP the asshole for pressing charges on this 10 year old.
Erika:For wanting? Yeah. Absolutely not. He needs to. Mhmm.
Edgar:Yeah. Deserve it. That's Send them to juvie. It's a
Darielys:head. Like, it's a Yeah. That's sensitive. And then to brain damage. Imagine.
Edgar:If you would die, like, pretty easily from, like It's
Darielys:a 9 year old son of a baby.
Erika:Yeah. No. And then also, like
Edgar:Like, even yeah. Imagine your own child too. Like, if your own child gets, like, injured like this.
Darielys:No. That's somebody. You
Edgar:get a one.
Erika:Yeah. Somebody is going to jail. Somebody really is. Somebody's gonna get something, but something's gonna happen. Yeah.
Erika:The that's just crazy. And then, like, if he did that now, he's probably done it before. It's probably not his first defense. Mhmm. I guarantee you.
Erika:And it won't his last either. So and something needs to be done. But if he has brothers or sisters, I feel bad for them.
Edgar:Yeah. In the long run, I think start, like, catching something like like this and putting them to JOB, like, early on. At least, like, you have, like, a record and, like, hopefully, you can, like, reconcile that with them within them.
Erika:Like behaviors. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Edgar:So it can, like, really at least, like, grow up to be a little bit more, like, controlled and not, like, so impulsive of their violence. But, yeah, we're gonna go to the next story, which is titled MIT asshole for losing my shit and screaming at my girlfriend to get out of my house after what her stepbrother did. Girlfriend was over at my place 2 days ago. We're both 20. She has a stepbrother who's 23.
Edgar:Before this, I'd only met him a few times, and he seemed like a regular dude. She asked if it was okay for him to come over to for a couple hours. I said, why not? He said he would get booze and pizza, and my parents were away visiting relatives for the weekend. So I figured we can shoot the shit.
Edgar:I have a little sister who's 15. They came over, and she stayed up in her room the entire time. We were all a bit tipsy, and my girlfriend's stepbrother asked if we could use the washroom. I pointed him to the one down the hall. My girlfriend and I were preoccupied and didn't even realize how much time he was taking until we heard a raised voice upstairs.
Edgar:We immediately went up to check what was going on and found my sister crying. Dude had gone up instead of using the washroom. My sister's door had been ajar, so he apparently walked into her room. All details I managed to wrangle for my crying sister, by the way. And she was taken by shock and was trying to stay calm, but he wasn't leaving.
Edgar:He was trying to chat her up. She'd hold him to get the fuck off, and he closed the door behind him instead, which is why she started freaking out. She tried to get past him to open the door, and he grabbed her, but she managed to open it anyway. I'd reached the landing by then, so he backed off. Obviously, I was super fucking pissed.
Edgar:There was a lot of screaming going on. Lots of accusations. We were all drunk except for my sister. After getting a story from her, girlfriend's stepbrother was stuttering and deflecting. I'm pretty sure I threatened violence at some point.
Edgar:My girlfriend was trying to get it to be the mediator. She said I had to calm down and couldn't fly off the handle based off of word-of-mouth. But I was there. I saw my sister crying in panic. I know what she's like, and I know she wouldn't lie about something like this.
Edgar:Why would she? I told her stepbrother to get out of my house. My girlfriend kept saying we could sort this out and have a proper conversation, but I didn't see what conversation was there to be had. Eventually, she said, what if my sister was lying in front of my sister's face? I asked her what on earth would make her think that, and she said she's a kid and could be making it up for attention.
Edgar:Like the title said, I lost my shit. I told her to get the fuck out, and afterwards, she kept calling me, but I ignored everything. The dust has settled a bit. I went over everything again with my little sister. She promised me it had happened the way she was telling me, and she told me she was scared he was going to SA her.
Edgar:My girlfriend texted me this morning saying I shouldn't have raised my voice like that, and I scared her. I thought of apologizing then, but she still hadn't said a word about apologizing to my sister or addressing the issue with her stepbrother. I only replied that we had to talk, and she said there's nothing to talk about. There's no hard proof in her words, and the stepbrother ended up doing nothing. So she told me she would deal with him and I would should drop it.
Edgar:I don't know if I'm the asshole for the way I handled this. Maybe if cooler heads prevailed, the silent treatment wouldn't have happened, and we could have discussed everything. I don't know what to do from now on either. I love that girl. I don't want us to be over, so I want some advice on where to go from here too.
Edgar:So, yeah, OP is in the ass over, like, how the way he handled this. And I feel like, yeah, even though, like, the stepbrother didn't do anything, he still, like it was, like, implied that, like, if any no one came up, no one, like, helped the sister, like, something, like, terrible would have happened.
Darielys:So why would she lie about something like that?
Edgar:Exactly.
Erika:Like, you wouldn't lie about that.
Edgar:And, like, it's also, like, pretty sus to you, like, this, the stepbrother who's, like, 8 years older than, like Yeah. She was, like,
Erika:15. He was 20.
Edgar:And somehow in the same room together, you know, when he's, like, drunk.
Darielys:Why was he even there?
Edgar:My god. Like, like, even, like, circumstantially, like, he shouldn't even be there.
Erika:No. That's enough proof. That's literally the proof that the brother wanted to do something and literally went inside to her room when he was supposed to.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:That's the proof. What proof does she else what else does she want? Exactly.
Edgar:I know. Yeah. I think that's just like, weird things are just
Darielys:If they were too busy to notice that he was gone for that long, dude, they
Erika:were you know?
Darielys:Exactly. Yeah. Honestly, yeah,
Edgar:they were distracted. But, honestly, I mean, I Obi Obi is fine with being angry with this entire situation. But stepbrother, yeah, it's definitely, like, sus behavior. And then since the the girlfriend yeah. The girlfriend, like, I don't know why she's, like, protecting him at the moment.
Edgar:Like, obviously, like I I guess he's scared about or she's, like, worried about him having charges pressed against him. But, like, that's, like, the least of his of her worries.
Erika:Feel like this is not his first rodeo.
Edgar:Probably not.
Erika:I really don't think it's the first time he's done this, and the sisters keep covering. The sister keeps covering it up.
Darielys:Mhmm. She probably knows something. Yeah.
Erika:So that's why she freaked out. She's like, oh, but you have no proof. Like Yeah. Show that.
Edgar:That's like that's not a normal response.
Erika:Exactly. She
Darielys:would have been mad at him too. Like, why are you doing that?
Erika:The normal response. I would be pissed off with my brother too if he did that.
Darielys:She's 15. Oh my god.
Erika:She's a little she's a baby.
Darielys:And she was literally minding her own business.
Erika:She wasn't doing anything.
Edgar:I know. Yeah. She was
Darielys:in her room.
Edgar:Yeah. I was away from everything. I think everyone there understood that, like, like like, the OP, the girlfriend, and stepbrother should have understood that they're just gonna be just damn drinking and just, like, chilling. Yeah.
Erika:In away from his sister, like, nothing else. Yeah. He's definitely in the wrong. So what's her verdict?
Edgar:Oh, you don't wanna read a comment?
Erika:Oh, the comment? Okay. So the top comment is she said you scared her by yelling, but her adult brother was drunkenly in a 15 year old girl's bedroom, and she doesn't think the child was scared. Peru. You need to break up with this girl.
Erika:There is no conversation to be had. She saw him in your sister's room. There is no explanation needed for that, period. There's nothing he could have done in the situation that would have been innocent. Exactly.
Erika:I agree with that. Not the asshole. You would be an asshole if you stayed with this girl. You should be asking yourself if she set this whole thing
Darielys:up. That'd be even messy.
Edgar:Oh my yeah. I didn't think about that. But, yeah, that would have been even, like, worse. Like, what I don't know. Yeah.
Edgar:That was, like, a real possibility.
Darielys:That actually makes sense, though.
Edgar:Like, how did I
Erika:was thinking that when I was when he was reading it, I when I read the story too. Because, like,
Darielys:they were busy and they were
Edgar:And then how did, god.
Darielys:How did
Edgar:a stepbrother know that he had a sister hiding away, like, upstairs?
Erika:Yeah. That's that's creepy.
Darielys:And that girl kept him busy so he could no. It makes sense.
Edgar:How long have they been together?
Darielys:Like, the
Edgar:girlfriend and OP. That's, like, crucial, information. But, yeah, that's, like,
Erika:another insane.
Edgar:Win against, like, the stepbrother and the girlfriend.
Erika:And then also, like, what do you mean? Like and it only happens if she sees it. Like, just because she didn't see nothing happened. Like, really? I know.
Erika:Yeah. It's ridiculous. It makes no sense. I think he should definitely break up with her.
Edgar:Yeah. They're, like, enough circumstantial evidence against him already. And, like, there's just too much such things. What was that?
Erika:Dave pointed out a comment. For sure. I'm sorry, but your girlfriend is just as trashy as her pedal bro pedal brother.
Edgar:Pedal bro.
Darielys:Please. Yeah.
Erika:They they need to go.
Darielys:Yeah. I feel
Edgar:like it was
Darielys:planned. That seems like I don't know.
Edgar:I don't think it's planned, but it's, like, it's a possibility. It's a real possibility.
Darielys:She, like, went along with it. Like, she didn't care. Yeah.
Erika:Like, I never said, like the first rodeo.
Darielys:Mhmm. Yeah. Dude, that's just so gross. It is.
Edgar:That's crazy. Yeah. Fairway the entire family. The other family. No people.
Darielys:Where were the parents?
Erika:They're they're out. Oh, they were out? Yeah. They Oh, okay. Yeah.
Erika:There was just them.
Edgar:There's so much manipulation going on. Oh my god. And the stepbrother must have planned this because, like, there's no way he he like, before he went to the house that he didn't know.
Darielys:Yeah. They had to know. There's no way.
Erika:Yeah. And then especially with his girlfriend, imagine that he knew. Like, there's no way. Yeah. He def they definitely planned it.
Erika:I don't know. It feels suspicious. Yeah.
Edgar:So final verdict on the way that OP responded to the entire situation?
Erika:He was on the right. Honestly, I would've I would've beat him up. If I was like, I'm gonna get the hell. I was so you're not invited to your husband. Yeah.
Erika:Oh my god. Okay. So next story is Emma the asshole for asking my coworker to label his food after he kept eating mine and accidentally making him sick. I, 29 female, work in a office where we have shared kitchen. I bring my lunch from home every day.
Erika:For the for the past few months, I noticed my food would randomly go missing. At first, I thought maybe I forgot to pack it or left it at home, but eventually, I realized someone was eating it. After a little observation, I started to suspect one coworker. Let's call him d. He's in the mid thirties.
Erika:He's always in the kitchen around the time my lunch goes missing, and I've been I've seen him casually snack on things that don't look like something he'd bring. And then I want to jump to conclusions, so I brought it up generally in the office. I said something like, hey. Someone's been eating my lunch. Can we please be respectful and not take other people's food?
Erika:Everyone just nodded along, but Dee didn't say a word. Despite this, my food kept disappearing. I tried leaving it with my name and even hid it in the back of the fridge. It still went missing. I was beyond frustrated.
Erika:This week, I decided to bring in something new Deac wouldn't like. I made spicy pasta dish with extra chili. I love spicy food, but I know it's not for everyone. I also labeled it labeled it clearly with very spicy, so there would be no confusion. Well, guess what?
Erika:My lunch disappeared again. A few hours later, Dick started complaining about his stomach and how he wasn't feeling well. He had to leave work early. Later, I found out from another coworker that Dee admitted he took my lunch, thinking I was exaggerating about how spicy it was.
Edgar:Oh my gosh. What an idiot.
Erika:Now a few coworker is saying I went too far by bringing in something intentionally dangerous. Bro.
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:This is frustrating. I know. But I never forced anyone to take my food. He knew it wasn't his and he took it anyway. I feel bad he got sick, but honestly, he should have been stealing my lunch in the first place.
Erika:So, Reddit, am I the asshole for asking Dee to label his food after repeatedly stealing Mai for bringing in a spicy dish that made him sick?
Edgar:No. No. He doesn't No way at all. Like, spicy food, like, that's, like, not dangerous at all. If it was, like, poison, maybe
Erika:allergic or something. Yeah.
Edgar:Allergies? I don't know.
Darielys:Did he not read?
Edgar:He said no. He read it. He said it can't be that spicy. He thought, like, that OP was just, like, messing with it.
Darielys:Is. They're so stupid.
Edgar:I know. Do you not have your own food?
Erika:Oh my god. I'm so frustrated with the coworker in the book. All coworkers that agreed with, saying that she went overboard.
Darielys:Excuse me. Is your
Erika:you're like that because he's stealing your food.
Edgar:Exactly. Maybe
Darielys:they can bring him food instead.
Edgar:They're like, we can't protect him. They're like, that it was potentially dangerous,
Darielys:but Girl, please.
Erika:They're he's fine. You don't He just probably was in the bathroom for a few hours.
Darielys:But the fact that she hid it behind the fridge, and he still managed to grab it is kinda he was digging. He was
Edgar:like, where is it? And then
Erika:why is
Darielys:he going
Edgar:after her food?
Erika:I'm just like, She probably looks good, but damn. Bring your own food. Bring your own food. At least not her. Though.
Erika:Yeah. That's not okay. Befriend
Edgar:her first. Get have her cook food for you by being friends or something like that. Or pay her. Yeah. That's who I like.
Erika:Pay her to make you food if you like it so much. Yeah.
Edgar:Just be like, I really like your food, please.
Erika:Yeah. Like, I'll pay you. Yeah. There you go. I'll buy it
Edgar:every time.
Darielys:He should just not bring food one day and see, like, Adio, where's my food?
Erika:He'll starve.
Darielys:Yeah. He'll
Edgar:he'll probably sell someone else's food, and then it'll be a bigger problem.
Erika:I know. Yeah. It's just unfair. That. Yeah.
Erika:So then she he could steal other people's food, and then there would be more than one person who's doing it too.
Edgar:Yeah. Because it's only if it's only one person that's, like, getting, like, screwed over this in the office, like, no one's gonna, like, really, like, bother with it. But if, like, everyone else is having the same issue, they probably would
Erika:It was
Edgar:one of the same issues. Yeah.
Darielys:Yeah. Exactly. Money, though.
Erika:The top comment on, like, it says, not the asshole, but you should notify HR about this. And those coworkers tell them to feel free to feed the after this. Your food your food, not their problem. If they want to support thieves, go on, but not you. 100%.
Erika:I love that comment.
Edgar:Like I said, feed Dee themselves. Like like Dee is like a a pet. D, the office pet.
Erika:Well, clearly, he clearly
Edgar:stealing food.
Darielys:D, it's not me. I don't be stealing food.
Edgar:I don't know.
Darielys:Wait. Who whoever made d?
Erika:Is it is that Chelsea? Hey. Hey. Hey.
Darielys:We don't mention that here. What are you talking about? Y'all didn't hear that.
Edgar:That's recorded forever.
Darielys:No. So Yeah. That's embarrassing. Oh my god.
Edgar:So final verdict about Big D getting, what's it called again? His her systemic Why did you say
Darielys:Big you're done.
Erika:No. She should definitely go to or he or she should go to the HR, and get sorted out because that's not okay.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. OP is in the right, and it's a she.
Erika:Yeah. Oh, it's a she. I wouldn't
Darielys:record him, but, like, put a camera in, like, the in the staff lounge and be just, like, to have proof that he's stealing it or something.
Edgar:That's, like, some states where, like, doing that is illegal however.
Erika:Yeah. It depends where you live.
Edgar:Yeah.
Darielys:But food is food. What do you do? I'd be
Erika:so mad because then I'll be hungry. Like, when am I gonna eat? Or even, like, her. Like, you'd like, oh,
Darielys:he takes his break at this turn and we just be, like, in the corner, like, recording him. I do that. For proof? I do that.
Erika:I would maybe I like, if she has, like, it's the same temple where she uses change it by new one and then play with somebody else's name on it. But it's so much work just for you to bring food. Like, it's so crazy.
Edgar:I say just next time, just put, like, rat poison in there and just, like, finish it up.
Darielys:You're so crazy.
Edgar:Absolutely not. No.
Darielys:Let's not do that.
Edgar:It's a little bit spicy, guys, by the way.
Erika:Yeah. Okay.
Darielys:Please. He's gonna send to a hospital.
Edgar:I know. That's not okay.
Erika:Spicy food is not dangerous. That is.
Edgar:Yeah. But spicy food is definitely not dangerous. Poor bathroom.
Darielys:That poor bathroom.
Edgar:I know.
Erika:It's called
Edgar:a d.
Darielys:Oh my god. No. Very good. Next story. Yeah.
Edgar:The next story is titled, am I the asshole for threatening legal action against my mom, brother, and future sister-in-law for stealing the only inheritance I have from my grandmother. I've been receiving messages nonstop from my maternal family and my siblings, and ahead of me second guessing if what I'm doing is going too far. This past Christmas, I saw on social media that my brother proposed to my future sister-in-law, who we'll call Amy. I was initially happy for them until I saw the ring, which Amy posted photos of. I immediately recognized it as my grandmother's engagement ring and phoned my mom to ask if she had given my brother the ring as a placeholder.
Edgar:She brushed me off, saying that no, she gave him the ring on purpose because I hate Christmas and Amy loves it. Context, I had always been closer to my fraternal side of my family, especially my grandma. My grandmother passed away last year, and the only inheritance I got is her engagement ring. I was not meant to receive this ring until I'm 30. My grandmother loved Christmas, and it showed in her engagement ring.
Edgar:It's an emerald cut diamond with tiny circle rubies and oval emeralds to look like Holly. Also, I didn't always hate Christmas. 2 years back, I lost my boyfriend of 10 years, my childhood bff, and my sorority sister in a car accident coming home from a Christmas party that we all intended. I have been in therapy struggling with some fibrous guilt, but am doing better now. I told my mom that the ring technically was meant to be mine and that she couldn't take it.
Edgar:She told me that she had a box of my grandmother's jewelry and I could just pick up something else. I was stewing away for a few days before contacting my paternal uncle, who is the executor. He was furious and told me that my mom had said she was going to give me the ring as a Christmas gift. He then said he could be in touch with a lawyer if I wanted to press charges. We'll we talked for a bit before hanging up.
Edgar:Under this information, I texted my mom, brother, and future sister-in-law saying that I had been in touch with my uncle and that I would press charges if the ring was not returned to either me or my uncle. My brother tried to say he really wanted to use the ring, but since I hated Christmas, that I didn't deserve it. Bro. I let them text me using their threats as future evidence. I told them they had a week to return the ring or I'd follow through with the police.
Edgar:Now my mother's side of the family, as well as my other siblings, are hounding me. They all think I'm blowing things up. I'm not. I know I'm not, but with how everybody is acting, I feel like I'm going crazy. Am I the asshole for threatening legal action against my mom, brother, and sister-in-law for stealing my only inheritance?
Edgar:So, yeah, that story was pretty messed up in terms of, like yeah. Like, she's a so survivor of a, like, a terrible car accident. And then all her all her brother and, like, her that side of the family can think of is like, oh, she doesn't deserve the ring anymore. She doesn't even like Christmas anymore. Like, this is, like, such a ridiculous reason in very, like What?
Edgar:There's so many things
Darielys:with her.
Erika:It's so twisted, honestly.
Edgar:Yeah. So I know. Yeah. It's, like, really messed up.
Erika:Like, who cares if Amy loves it? It's not her ring.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah.
Darielys:Exactly.
Edgar:If if anything, she's, like, talk to her first. Be like, is this okay? Like, they they just took it from her.
Darielys:That's not fair. I'd be mad.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:Yeah. I would file a report. I'll sue them.
Edgar:Would you give them a week or would you not? No. No? You just instantly?
Darielys:On that day. Yes.
Edgar:Absolutely. Even the sister-in-law?
Erika:I don't know if the sister-in-law is in full for this because he gave it to her. It's not like she asked for it.
Edgar:Yeah. She probably didn't know anything. She probably saw it. I was like, oh, it's cute. It's just like a kissing ring.
Edgar:That's true.
Erika:Yeah. So I don't think the sister-in-law has any well, it depends how much she knows. But I know
Edgar:if she knows that much. She probably knows after the fact.
Erika:Yeah. I mean yeah. Well, now she probably knows because she's saying to give the ring back.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:But, yeah, I I really think she should because it is not right. And then the fact that they said that she does the brother said he doesn't deserve the ring is so hurtful. Like
Edgar:I know. Yeah.
Erika:She's already tried to survive it with the, you know, survivor's guilt, and then he comes saying you don't deserve it. Like, what what do you mean? That's so sad. It is really sad. I mean, I could completely understand why she hates Christmas.
Darielys:Oh my god.
Edgar:Yeah. Oh, if he has a story that would make the Grinch cry.
Erika:Oh my god. Something else. So basically, the top comment says what we just said. Not the asshole. That's your ring.
Erika:Your mom, bro, and sister-in-law have no claim to it. Filed that report. Mhmm. I still don't understand about the sister-in-law, though. We need it would we need a little bit more information to really, like, say that she's also, like, a part of it.
Erika:Because, I mean, she's she's not the one that said I want that ring and
Edgar:Her ending is just, like, kind of just to put the pressure on all of them, like, everyone who is, like, involved even if it's just, like, promos leaving the ring. Because, like, if the sister-in-law has, like, no stake in it, like, you just, like, got a ring and found out it was stolen, then, she probably would be more stressed out and wanna, like Yeah. Push them towards, like, a a a decision fast as possible.
Erika:Exactly.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:So, yeah, I don't think she's asshole at all. Right? No. No. File that.
Erika:The, lawsuit, girl. Get that ring back. Alright. So the next story is Emma the asshole for calling off my wedding after discovering my fiance has a secret child. Oh.
Erika:I have been with my fiance, Hiszenberg.
Edgar:Hiszenberg. You mean Heisenberg?
Erika:I'm sorry. Heisenberg? Heisenberg?
Darielys:What a name.
Edgar:Eastover?
Erika:Wait. Say it one more time.
Edgar:Heisenberg. Okay.
Erika:I don't like That's
Darielys:like a name from Frozen.
Edgar:It sounds like, have you watched Breaking Bad? Oh, yeah. He's a Breaking Bad fan.
Darielys:Yeah. Breaking yeah. It's right there. Mhmm. Makes sense.
Darielys:Yeah.
Erika:So for 5 years, and we spent the whole 2024 planning our wedding. Things were perfect, or so I thought. After the new year, while helping him clean out his office, I stumbled upon a stack of old letters addressed to him. I was so curious, so I opened them one and discovered they were from a woman claiming he was a father of her 7 year old son. At first, I thought it had to be a mistake.
Erika:Come on. Like, when I confronted him, he admitted everything that he'd had a brief relationship with this woman before we met, and this and the child is his. He confessed that he's known about his son for years, but chose not to tell me because he didn't wanna complicate our relationship.
Darielys:You don't believe me. Mhmm.
Erika:I'm talking about lies. He also claimed he occasionally provides financial support, but has no active involvement in the child's life. I was devastated. Not only did he keep such a massive secret, but his lack of involvement in his child's life made me question his character. I couldn't stop imagining what else he might be hiding.
Erika:Despite love him loving him deeply, I decided to call off the wedding. I feel betrayed and can't imagine building a life with someone who would keep something so significant for me. He's begging me to reconsider, saying he's ready to be open about everything and involve his child in our lives. Still, I can't shake the feeling that the trust is broken beyond repair. Am I the asshole for calling off the wedding, or should I give him another chance?
Erika:This one's complicated. I
Darielys:Oh. God.
Edgar:I understand why she called off the wedding, but, also, I think this is, like, a very touchy subject anyway because, like, I can understand why he didn't wanna, like, bring up the child to her. But, I mean, he could've, like, said something because it does, like it it makes it complicated, the relationship. But, if their relationship was strong enough, I think they could've gone through it. But now he she has to, like, face all of this, like, situation and this complication, 7 years or however long the child was with, was in the picture
Erika:How so long?
Edgar:All at once.
Erika:7 years, he never said anything.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:And well, they were together for 5 years.
Edgar:Yeah. And then also I mean, OP also makes some point. Like, if, if his if her now ex husband or ex fiance, is able to keep this part of his life a secret and, like, not take care of a child, that's his for so long. Like, what does that say about him going forward?
Erika:I know. 100%. I think she's in the right I honestly think because he still even though he didn't tell her, he had a child is still lying to her because he didn't tell her. Yeah. So he hid the truth, which still makes him a liar.
Edgar:I mean, it's it's yeah. I understand both their, like, point of views, but yeah. Ophir isn't an asshole for, like, breaking up up the
Erika:I think she did the right thing.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. The right thing for her. I think he
Darielys:was mad at the fact that he had a kid. It's just the fact that he lied to her.
Erika:Exactly. Yeah.
Edgar:I think it more than that.
Erika:You didn't say it.
Edgar:And, like, how how, like, he treated the child, I guess.
Erika:Yeah. Like, how can he be a parent and not be a part of the child's life?
Edgar:Yeah. I mean, he could have been, like, been open with this about this from the beginning and be like, hey. I do have a child. Like, there's a lot of people who are like the single mothers or single fathers. You know?
Darielys:Mhmm. I would say that in the beginning. Because, like, what?
Edgar:Yeah.
Erika:That's such a big like, such a huge news about you. Like, that that literally speaks volumes of you. And you're gonna just not say it. That's crazy. I was telling Edgar, would you break up with me if I had a secret child?
Erika:And he said, yeah.
Edgar:That's not my
Darielys:child. Edgar. Oh my god. He's probably embarrassed to tell her.
Erika:Yeah. I
Darielys:guess. Because I'm embarrassed. Well, why would he not tell her?
Erika:Yeah. Like, yeah. I mean
Darielys:Like, if he would if he didn't care, he would tell her. He's like, no.
Edgar:Wait. When does this happen though? Like, how long were they dating?
Erika:5 years. 5. Yeah.
Edgar:Oh, okay.
Darielys:Okay. So the kid was already, like, 2.
Edgar:I see. I see. So
Darielys:I'd probably like, oh, let me not tell her to, like, you know, to make her not, like, go away or something or scare her or I don't
Erika:know. I mean, I don't know. That's sad.
Edgar:I feel like most parents, though, like, parents that are dating again after, like, their relationship, like, they usually are pretty upfront. Or at least the good ones are upfront about, like, oh, I have a child, by the way. The good ones. Yeah.
Darielys:Exactly. Girl.
Erika:He's not a good one.
Edgar:Yeah. Sorry. Yeah.
Erika:Bye. Say bye, girl.
Edgar:Mhmm. Like, again, yeah. I I think he was more he didn't handle this situation, like, properly. I think I think No. Like, in his, like, anxiety or, like, in his desperation or, like, anything, he just didn't wanna, like, be upfront, which, like Yeah.
Edgar:I see. Ended up wasting both of the times.
Erika:Exactly. And I think that her finding that letter is a godsend because imagine her being already married to him and then
Edgar:And even worse, like, pregnant by him.
Erika:Exactly. And if I get out that he has a stepbrother, oh my god. That would actually be worse. Mhmm. It
Darielys:just kept getting messier.
Erika:Yeah. So I think that her finding that letter was, like, the best thing that could've happened to her.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. Definitely saved her, like, a lot of, like, heartbreak and issues, and she's, like, a lot of, like, just things that make your life very, like, hard.
Erika:Yeah. So I honestly think that she should count her blessings. It is
Edgar:that situation though because, like, they've been together for, like,
Erika:years or so.
Darielys:Long time.
Erika:That is a long time.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:A long, long time. Yeah. The top comment is you're not an asshole. Discovering a secret child is a huge deal, and it's okay to prioritize your need for honesty and trust in a relationship. Mhmm.
Erika:Exactly. And then Obi actually responded to that. Said I have I have been cheated in the past, so rebuilding my trust to him is quite difficult for me. Oh my god. Yeah.
Erika:That really sucks.
Edgar:I mean, then I guess he she kinda implied that she would be kinda willing to rebuild her trust with him. But, I mean, that's gonna take forever. Like, I mean, calling out the wedding is one thing. Like, yeah, it's, like, something she should do. But, like, you you guys believe she should, like, keep dating him with this information and just, like, try to see if, like, they can salvage anything.
Edgar:Because, like, they've been together for 5 years, and they seem to be to have been happy enough.
Erika:I don't know. I think if somebody lies to me like that, I don't think I would wanna be with them just because it would be extremely hard for me to trust the person again, regardless of how made how hard he tries. I think I'll still in the back of my mind, I'd be like, but he hid this from me. What else he's hiding?
Darielys:Exactly. Yeah. I do the same thing. I'd be, like, overthinking every little thing. Be like, wait.
Darielys:Is he hiding something else? Is he lying? Is he, like, not telling me that
Erika:he's coming in? Hello. And plus, if a relationship starts in the lies and and mistrust, it's not going anywhere. It's gonna stay like that, and it's gonna end that way too. So Yeah.
Erika:I'd rather not go into a relationship like that and just, like, be like, bye. I'd rather start with somebody new that doesn't lie to me. Yeah. The one that actually deserves me and then being with somebody just because you've been them for so long. Like, you have to know your worth.
Erika:And I'm glad she broke up the wedding.
Edgar:Mhmm. So final critique on the last story.
Erika:Oh.
Edgar:So if he what do we feel about her, calling off to wedding because of the
Darielys:She did the right thing.
Erika:100%. She did the right thing.
Edgar:Yeah. Agreed. So, the next story is titled, anybody asked for telling my parents I won't pay for their retirement after they paid for my brother's wedding. I, 29 male, have always been responsible with my money, while my brother, 32 male, has not. A few years ago, he got married, and my parents spent nearly all their savings paying for his extravagant wedding.
Edgar:Now they're nearing retirement and have asked me to help support them financially because they don't have enough saved. I told them I wasn't willing to help because they chose to prioritize my brother's wedding over their future. They argued that I don't understand because I'm single and don't have major expenses like a family. I told them their choices aren't my responsibility and they called me selfish. My brother thinks I'm being cruel and says I'm punishing our parents for favoring him.
Edgar:I feel bad for saying no, but I also don't think it's fair for me to bear the burden of their bad financial decisions. You know what the asshole?
Erika:My god. That's so frustrating. I hate all the family.
Darielys:I know.
Edgar:Yeah. I
Erika:mean I dislike all the family right now.
Edgar:There shouldn't be like a like a requirement to, like, support your parents financially, but, like, it's like something that's nice to do if you guys are able to. But, like, this, like She
Erika:has no risk, like, what is it? She doesn't have to do it. Yeah.
Edgar:Like, if it's nice to do boys. Yeah.
Darielys:That's their parents' fault. Why did they spend all their money knowing they're gonna go broke?
Edgar:Yeah. Now they have no money for, like, retirement?
Darielys:That's their fault.
Edgar:Like and, obviously, like, the brother, since he's, like, not good with money or whatever, like, he doesn't deserve a shopping in writing. Go, like, if he can't pay for it, then, yeah, he doesn't he can't even afford it. So, like, why bring the rest of his family, like, now in this case, his parents down for, like, his decision?
Darielys:Just because he's single, he has to help? Hell, no.
Edgar:No. He should he should enjoy his freedom. He should enjoy his, like, financial
Erika:stability. Yeah. No. I and, plus, he said that he's financially, you know, responsible. Mhmm.
Erika:But his brother has never been that way. Mhmm. So he relies on his parents and the fact that his parents know that he's not responsible. Why are you wasting so much money on his wedding? And then expecting your other child that is responsible pay for the consequences of that.
Darielys:Yeah. That makes no sense.
Erika:Yeah. And then I just this is ridiculous. And, supposedly, the brother was like, oh, you're punishing them. Like, really?
Edgar:And the brother's a dick.
Erika:Yeah. He yeah. They they're all assholes. Mhmm.
Edgar:Yeah. The hopefully, definitely shouldn't be No.
Erika:He shouldn't feel guilty at all.
Edgar:Or guilty. He shouldn't be feeling guilty.
Erika:I feel so I feel bad, but then I'm like, yeah. That's not her respond his responsibility regardless anyways.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Darielys:So, like, it's like your parents. Like, obviously, you wanna help them. But, like
Edgar:If they call something, that makes, like, their lives much harder. That they know they shouldn't have done then. Yeah. It's, like, a little bit harder to, like, justify Mhmm. Wanting to help them.
Erika:I feel like it's sad. I feel like I would help them, but I wouldn't give them the exact like, like, the whole money that I would have given them if they haven't spent it irresponsibly. You know what I mean?
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah.
Erika:Because I don't want them to be struggling either because they're still my parents. Mhmm. Like, I know, but a lot of people be like, oh, forget it. Just don't give them money. I just I can't.
Erika:My my heart I just can't.
Edgar:Yeah. I think yeah.
Erika:So support them. Still my parents. Mhmm. So the top comment is not the asshole. Their poor financial decisions are not your problems or responsibility.
Erika:Why aren't they asking your brother to pay? Here's the reason why they didn't have their retirement. They funded your brother's wedding thinking you would take care of them. Wrong. Don't be guilty or bullied into picking up the slack in their retirement.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:Yeah. And then their brother should be the one, like, who has to pay them back or Yeah. But he doesn't have money.
Erika:He has the money. He's not responsible. He'd be like, I don't have the money right now.
Edgar:Am I gonna get married to someone who, who can't afford his own wedding?
Erika:That's great. Well, in some cultures, I know that the parents of, like, the the parents of the husband pays or of the bride pays for the wedding
Edgar:Mhmm.
Erika:In some cultures. But, I mean, I I don't know. It depends. Yeah.
Edgar:So final verdict. Sophie, is he in the right or wrong for not wanting to pay for his parents' retirement?
Erika:He's in
Darielys:the right. He's in the right.
Edgar:Yeah. So the next story is titled, am I the asshole for reporting an ER doctor for offering me $10,000 not to terminate my pregnancy? I had already planned on having an abortion, but before I could even take the pills, I started bleeding naturally. I went to the ER to be sure I was okay, and I was. And when asked what local OBGYN I wanted to be referred to, I told the doctor that I didn't need a referral.
Edgar:She asked me why, and I told her that I wasn't continuing the pregnancy. The doctor looked at me and said, what if I gave you $10,000 and you gave the baby to me? She chuckled after she saw my face drop, and I said, sure. Find a way to transplant this fetus into your uterus and grow it yourself then it's all yours. More awful laughter.
Edgar:Should I repur should I report her? LOL. I'm imagining her saying that to someone younger and less strong willed than me, and it just seems so wildly inappropriate. Yeah. It's like a it's a weird ask to have a new doctor.
Edgar:I mean, it's like a doc it's like none of the doctor's business. And, like, I like to imagine that this was like a joke at the at the very like, most that this was a joke, but I feel like there's there's some truth to the doctor being serious about, about adopting this this, pregnant lady's baby for $10,000.
Darielys:$10,000 isn't enough. Mhmm. Well how much a baby cost?
Edgar:It is a lot. Like, I don't know exactly, like, numbers, but, yeah, it does cost a lot kinda
Erika:weird.
Edgar:To have the baby, like, labored through and No.
Erika:No. No. No. No. Let me adopt what?
Erika:Mhmm.
Darielys:That's that's
Erika:I don't know. I don't know.
Darielys:That's weird.
Erika:I don't know what how to how to feel about it. I don't know if she was a 100% joking. Mhmm. But even if you're joking, as a doctor, you have certain, you know, what guidelines, but
Edgar:You have to be, like yeah. As a doctor, especially
Darielys:Morals?
Edgar:Morals? You have, like, a certain level of professionalism. Yeah. Because, like, this this situation caused, like, awkwardness for everybody in, like, I don't know.
Erika:And it's not funny. Like, how are you gonna yeah.
Edgar:What did I say?
Darielys:It was kind of funny.
Edgar:What?
Darielys:What she said.
Edgar:Mhmm.
Darielys:Oh, like, wait. What?
Erika:I would be weird. I would be, like, con I would be scared.
Edgar:You'd be scared?
Erika:Yeah. Because why is she asking me to buy my baby off me? Like, it's just weird.
Edgar:I don't know. Like, does he like my jeans or something? Like, I don't know.
Erika:I know. I know. And then, like, give you I think I was reading something that people were saying that, you know, doctors have usually have rings, like, for black market, like, for kids and stuff. I'm like, what? Doctors are the ones that usually run those.
Edgar:I've heard about those because I've never, like, dug deep into those kinda seriously.
Erika:I heard those too, but, yeah, same. It's scary. Like, you really don't know.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. Definitely report her just because, like, you you need to know, like, if this was a joke or, like, what what's going on actually? Like
Erika:But then if you really think about it, what if you report her and it was just a joke? But it was like a like a dark humor joke.
Edgar:Well, I imagine, like, the board will will will settle this, and then they'll be like, okay. It was a joke. Like, a bad joke. Just don't do it again. You know?
Darielys:The onboard laughing is kinda weird. Yeah. Mhmm. It was creepy. I know.
Erika:Okay. So the top comment is, I'm imagining her saying that's someone younger and less strong willed than me, and it just seems so wildly inappropriate. Incredibly inappropriate. Yes. I'll report her, not the asshole.
Erika:Mhmm.
Darielys:Yeah. Like
Edgar:Yeah. Especially that like, that's a, like, a really strong point for OP that, like, if the doctor said this to someone, like, younger than when they needed the money, then, yeah, it it would have been, like, something that would be more seriously taken as an offer.
Erika:Mhmm. Yeah. So I don't think she's an asshole. No.
Edgar:Yeah. Hopefully, yeah. Hope he's an asshole.
Erika:Alright. So the last story is Emma the asshole for reconsidering my relationship because my partner left their eggs at the altar. So my partner and I have been together for a while, and while we are not officially engaged yet, we both agreed that we would want to get married eventually. Now now I was aware they were engaged before, but I never really asked for details. I recently found out we were when we were out with our family.
Erika:It was pretty big get together, and I overheard some someone talk about me and my partner. I heard something along the lines, I really like my name. Hopefully, my partner doesn't have been in this one. I didn't say anything at the time, but when we got back home, I talked to my partner about this. They got a pretty shocked look.
Erika:They tried to play it off, but I pressed on. Eventually, they admitted they abandoned their ex at the altar. I asked why, and they said it was just panic. They didn't realize just how heavy marriage can be and bailed out. I asked them if they regret it, and they said, I didn't wanna hurt them, but it was something I needed to do.
Erika:And, obviously, we talk about our future. My partner insists that they'll never do that to me, but I don't know. I can't believe them. My view on this is that living someone at the altar might be one of the worst things to do to someone. The sheer hurt and humiliation on front of your friends and family.
Erika:And, also, it wasn't that long ago. Our relationship is a year old, and this happened about 3 years ago. And I
Edgar:don't know.
Erika:I told him I need some time to think about all of this, partially why I posted on here. So what do you think? What advice would you give her? I don't know. It's high.
Erika:I
Edgar:wouldn't even
Darielys:know what to say.
Edgar:I feel like being left at the altar is, like, it's not not not uncommon. Waiting. It's like I say it's like I would imagine it's rare, but it's, like, never, like, an an something that won't happen. So it's, like, something you just have to, like, you think behind in the back of your head or, like, you have to, like, trust the other person you're in a relationship with to not leave you at the altar.
Darielys:That's so scary.
Edgar:Like, it's like it's like a another thing you have to think about when and during that day. But, so I like, already at this moment, I imagine OP doesn't trust, his fiancee or her fiance because he's already having all these questions and stuff.
Darielys:I have a new fear unlocked.
Edgar:A new fear unlocked.
Darielys:Getting more of that. That's so That's
Edgar:so embarrassing.
Darielys:No. I would hate that. Can you
Edgar:imagine everyone's like, what happened? He's like, the the husband loved.
Darielys:I wouldn't even wanna talk to anybody that's there. I'll be like, okay. I'm done.
Edgar:You just leave in the back?
Darielys:Yes. I would literally just leave because why would I wanna stay there and be like, every it's okay. It's okay. Girl, no. It's not okay.
Darielys:You weren't the one that was just left there
Edgar:at the altar. I know. What do you
Darielys:even say to your family? Right? Like, dude, no. I'm literally walking away.
Edgar:I'm leaving. How how many weeks until you talk to your parents again?
Darielys:I don't even know. I wouldn't even wanna look at everybody that's was there. That's so embarrassing because, like, he's
Erika:like, oh my god.
Darielys:And I know if you're gonna start talking because he was like, oh my god. Gosh.
Edgar:I don't think like like all the juicy terrors are gonna be told about you.
Erika:Yeah. No. No.
Darielys:Like, yeah.
Erika:No. It's I I
Edgar:Because that's your reputation now, like, within the family and within the community.
Erika:Yeah. I I really think it takes a special kind of person to do that because, honestly, like, there has to be doubts you had since the beginning of the engagement and the process of the of getting married. That that means the catering, the picking of the dress, the suits, the the who sits everywhere. Like, this is such a long process, and you didn't say anything. You couldn't say, hey, I have doubts, or maybe we shouldn't book it yet, or we shouldn't book the venue, or we shouldn't get a priest.
Erika:Like, you there's so he had so many chances to say, hey, let's not go with this, or let's not go through it. But he waited for the, for the actual wedding day and left her there in the altar. That's just messed up.
Darielys:And the relationship is kinda new.
Edgar:Yeah. 1
Darielys:It's just a year old.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. They shouldn't be married.
Darielys:Like, it's, like, kinda kinda too early to be thinking, like,
Erika:oh, we should get married. Well You barely know
Darielys:I don't know. I feel like that's too soon.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, people mature, but, there's, like, another thing you have to, like, trust.
Erika:It was 3 years ago. That's not even that long ago either. Like Oh,
Edgar:that happens in 3, 4 years.
Erika:I don't know. But yeah. Yeah. And I think
Edgar:it's I think it's up to you. So, yeah, what advice would you give to this person?
Erika:This one's hard because
Darielys:I wouldn't even know.
Erika:I would just say
Edgar:I feel like they're already, like, like, this is already, like, a crack in a relationship. And, like, I feel like OP is, like, not fully spiraling, but she's, like, very like, she has, like, strong doubts now. And, like, that's, like doesn't they always feel blame her? Yeah. I
Erika:don't blame her.
Edgar:How would
Erika:you feel if I said that I almost got married and then walked out the day of my wedding? Yeah.
Darielys:Because you're gonna think that she's gonna walk on on you. Yeah. That's what I would think. Like, if if that happened, be like, oh my god. They're gonna walk out.
Erika:Girls or women are a little bit different view. Like, he said he doesn't care.
Darielys:I would I would But because
Edgar:I imagine. Yeah, I wouldn't care.
Erika:Yeah. But, like, imagine like, for us, it's more I don't know. Because we are more emotional. It's such a
Darielys:big like, a big moment.
Erika:Yeah. Like I yeah. I I really think that she should just really get to know them more if she still wants to continue being in the relationship, or she should just end it. Because if she feels she can't trust it or because that type of person did that, if she feels afraid that if she's gonna be, you know, be done the same, then she shouldn't be with them at all or be the person at all. Mhmm.
Erika:Because, I mean, part of the being with somebody is being be able to trust them. If she can't trust them, then she gotta go.
Darielys:Yeah. She's gonna be mad paranoid even if they, like, stay together and everything and they go through with, like, the wedding. On the wedding day, she's gonna be mad paranoid. Yeah. Like, just knowing that, oh my god.
Darielys:He can walk out on me, like, any second.
Erika:Mhmm. Yeah. I think she's just I don't know. It she's just, like, really think it through if it's worth it.
Edgar:Yeah. I think I'm trending towards her just, like, breaking up because, like, if she's already making a whole post about it, she's, like, she's already, like, half the halfway out the door.
Darielys:Yeah. She's thinking about it. Mhmm. Or just don't even have, like, a whole wedding when it's, like, everybody there. Just do it privately.
Darielys:Yes.
Edgar:You know what I mean?
Darielys:Exactly. Because, like
Edgar:because you ain't gonna you ain't gonna ruin another wedding. No. If you're on text
Darielys:out out of the court, it's just you and him and the person will.
Edgar:And the judge, and they're like You don't
Erika:know. You don't
Edgar:know. It's
Erika:not like
Darielys:your whole family and friends are gonna be watching you. That's more humiliating than anything. Yeah. That's so embarrassing.
Edgar:I know. That is how your picture is. I never thought about it, like, being left at the, like, the altar like that. Like, you know, like, all your family, maybe a few friends. Oh my god.
Edgar:That's so scary. See that happen to you?
Erika:Like, it's happened
Darielys:to you. Happening. You, like, booking everything, like you make plans, you book the place, this and that.
Edgar:It's like at least a $1,000. Out. Yeah.
Darielys:Oh, I'd be mad. I'd be so mad.
Edgar:I know. Dave's gonna be purple.
Darielys:Oh, I'm a be red. I'm a be Not purple. I'm a go chase him. I'm like, where are you going?
Edgar:And I she's like, I'm already in Puerto Rico. I'm going
Darielys:to He's on a plane, baby. Yeah.
Erika:Dude, I'm
Edgar:And then you hear and then you hear a woman's laughter in the back. Right?
Darielys:Oh my god.
Erika:No. That's that's scary.
Darielys:I'm gonna be inside it's gonna come out. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. I'm gonna go off.
Erika:That's scary. Crazy. I didn't even yeah. I never thought about that. But No.
Edgar:Yeah. Yeah. That's, like, such a horrible situation.
Erika:Scary. Yeah.
Edgar:Mhmm. I
Erika:don't know. I would definitely look at the person. Like, for example, let's say I had a a friend, and they became my best friend. And then I find out that she left her her ex husband or ex boyfriend fiance in the altar. I would look at her differently.
Edgar:Really? Would you? Why?
Erika:Yeah. Because Like, how dare you? Like, no. It's just like it's the character. Like, if she had the guts and and the way to just do that, unless she has, like, a really, really good reason, like, he cheated or something, and she found out the same day or whatever.
Erika:Something
Darielys:crazy.
Erika:Drastic, then I'll be like, okay. I get it. But, like, if she did it just because she just changed her mind of bearing him, that just shows, like, such a red flag in character wise.
Darielys:And on that day Yeah.
Erika:Like, you had so many chances, like, before that.
Edgar:Wait. He left on the altar? Like, that's the end of the relationship. Right?
Darielys:Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Dead. He's gone.
Edgar:He's gone.
Darielys:I wanna see him. Yes. He's
Erika:blocked. Everything. He's blacklisted.
Edgar:Everything. He's gone for your life?
Erika:Yeah. Yeah. Who is he? What's his name? What?
Edgar:The past 10 years didn't happen. You're 10 years younger than me.
Darielys:If that ever happens to me, like, the first time and, like, let's say, I meet somebody after, I'm a be paranoid still. Mhmm. Because I'm like, oh my god. What if this person also walks out of art?
Edgar:Or if
Darielys:they change their mind or something? You know, anything could happen. So it's, like, kinda scary. Oh my god.
Edgar:I feel like this one's a psychological harm.
Erika:Yeah. Yeah. You need time to heal. So I think, especially with something, like, traumatic as this, you need time to heal and be by yourself and, you know, find yourself again and and try to trust yourself try to trust yourself in somebody else again. You can't just go after that, go to a relationship right after because it's not gonna work out.
Erika:Yeah.
Edgar:I remember reading online, after, like, a relationship, you it takes you about half the time of that relationship to get over it. So if you were with someone for 1 year, it take it would take you 6 months to get over it.
Darielys:That's crazy.
Edgar:So imagine, like, you're with someone for 10 years. It's gonna be, like, 5 years before you're over it. Yeah. Because 10 years is a lot. I know.
Edgar:I got
Darielys:a lot.
Edgar:And I gotta
Darielys:memories of everything.
Erika:Much ting you're tangled so much with that person. And so detangling is gonna be extremely hard and hurtful.
Edgar:Yeah. I know.
Erika:You need those 5 years.
Edgar:Yeah. 5 years to just do your own thing.
Erika:Yeah. That's hard. Because you get used to that person. Like Mhmm.
Darielys:They got It's the worst.
Erika:Yeah. No. And then you you know what they like. You you know you this way a certain way and, like Mhmm. Yeah.
Erika:It's
Darielys:sad. Mad, but, like, sad at the same time.
Erika:Yeah. It's really, really sad. I I don't know. I it's hard. I think she's just, you know, follow what her gut says and then just let it, you know, let it go from there.
Edgar:Yeah. But how would you guys wanna be treated? Like, how how what would calm you down after that if this would happen to you guys?
Erika:He, he went to earn my trust.
Edgar:No. Not, like, in like, from the from the person. Like, if you were left in the altar, what would you want your family or your friends to do?
Darielys:Leave me alone.
Edgar:Just leave you alone?
Erika:I would need some comfort. Like, I just would wanna hug or, like, comfort. And then Yeah. I would just, like then I'll be like, alright. I need some time to Yeah.
Erika:For myself to, like, you know, get better and just I'd be
Darielys:like, Erica, where are we going? Yes. Yeah.
Edgar:Erica, let's go to South Korea.
Darielys:South Korea. Yeah.
Erika:And then, again, it's just I would need time for myself and just be with 1 person, you know, just, like, support or something.
Darielys:Yeah. Mhmm.
Erika:But I wouldn't want to be, like, you know, wouldn't want anybody coming to me. Like, all my family and friends would be like, oh, are you okay? Are you okay?
Edgar:Like, all at once. Yeah.
Erika:That's so suffocating. I know. Mhmm.
Edgar:Like,
Darielys:go away, please. I just want peace by myself.
Erika:Yeah. You think you you should be able to leave that person alone for them to process their grief because you literally lost somebody that day. Yeah. Like, it's crazy because you lost a life, and then you lost what you thought would be after that, you know, after getting married, like, your future, basically. You lost everything.
Erika:So That's
Darielys:tough. Yeah. No. Mhmm. Yeah.
Darielys:I feel like I would never get over that. It'll take me a while, yo. Yeah. Yeah.
Edgar:She's gonna go
Darielys:to And then my trust is gonna be gone, like, literally gone.
Edgar:Mhmm. Yeah. It's a yeah. It's a a very deep, like, cut to get. Mhmm.
Erika:Yeah. I
Edgar:agree. Which is very unfortunate for, I guess, OP OP's ex fiancee's, I guess, fiance. The ex fiance's ex fiance. I because, like, OP OP, none of this happened to her yet. No.
Edgar:Right now, she just has this this guy that he that she knows, he left someone at the altar before.
Darielys:I've had the same reaction that if I were her. Mhmm. I'd be paranoid
Edgar:Yeah.
Darielys:The whole time. I'd be like, oh my god. Oh my god.
Erika:And then the response for them saying, I didn't want to hurt them, but it was something I needed to do. That that's what they said that they left them in the altar. Like, what do you mean?
Darielys:That's But
Edgar:it's, like, more of an immature response. Yeah. Yeah. So, hopefully, he matured in the 3 years, but, I mean, hopefully, more than anyone probably knows how mature he is at this point or has had an idea.
Erika:She no. I'm sorry. You can't know some something about a person for a year. Like, I cannot say I knew you for a year. Like, I knew what how you were afraid.
Erika:There's no way. I know you it's been 5 years like basically almost 5 years and I can say I know you better now but 1 year people can hide so much and they can oh my god no I think she needs to do a lot of, like, soul searching.
Darielys:Yeah. That's so true. Mhmm.
Erika:Yeah. I agree with that. Okay. And then the top comment is not the asshole. That's a major red flag for real.
Erika:Can't blame you for being cautious, getting left in the altar. Take your time. You gotta make sure it's legit before you fully commit. Trust is earned. I think that's really
Edgar:good. Yeah.
Erika:He needs to earn that trust.
Darielys:He does.
Erika:If she still wants to be with him because I don't know.
Edgar:Yeah. So final verdict?
Darielys:OP.
Erika:Not the asshole.
Edgar:Yeah. OP's not the asshole for reconsidering everything.
Erika:Yeah. I know. Mhmm. Alright. So that was the last story.
Erika:Thank you for joining us. We'll see you next week. Bye.
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